Friday, September 2, 2016

Donald Trump In Mexico (?!)


I was hoping after Monday’s post I could get away with not talking about Donald Trump for the rest of the week. But no, the Cheeto-hued ball sack went down to Mexico and well, I just can’t help myself.


Donald Trump went to Mexico? Isn’t that like having a Klan meeting in Harlem? Isn’t that more akin to a neo-Nazi starring in a production of Fiddler on the Roof? Up is down? Dogs are marrying cats? I just don’t understand the world anymore. Donald Trump went to Mexico?


Since day one of the Donald Trump candidacy for President (which I really can’t fucking believe is still a thing), Mexico has been front and center of the carrot colored bunghole’s message of fear and hate. Mexico is sending the worst of the worst over our borders. We’re overrun with Mexicans who are just everywhere raping everything, women, children, goats, the all you can eat buffet at Golden Corral, garden gnomes.


So to solve this epidemic of Mexican rapiosity, Donald Trump proposed building a wall, a really big, huge, awesome wall, epic in its wallness, the bestest wall ever in the history of walls. And we would make Mexico pay for it.


Meanwhile, we would send out a force of, I don’t know, Imperial Stormtroopers, maybe, to round up all the illegals, throw ‘em over the wall and tell them to not come back no more. 


This is not some random point that Donald mentioned once and never said anything about again. No, it’s something that has come up at every Trump rally since he began his campaign. His supporters at his rallies chant, “Build that wall! Build that wall! Build that wall!” And Donald roars back, “We’re gonna build that wall, believe you me!” Trump’s approach to immigration has been consistent with broad, untenable solutions shouted at the top of his lungs.  Immigration from Mexico was essentially the core of Trump’s whole appeal.


Then it appeared there was a wobble in the Trump campaign on this signature subject, what was euphemistically referred to as a “softening”. Instead of ALL the illegals from Mexico, Donald Trump would focus on just the ones committing crimes. The reason that this came about is that somebody in Trump’s circle does not have their head fully up their ass and came to realize there are only so many Non College Educated White People (aka Stupid People) available to vote for Trump. And despite what you might think, there are not quite that many stupid people in America to turn that into a win for Mr. Trump.  


The reaction to this moderation on immigration was mixed and hardly positive. Non-Trump people were not impressed with this so-called “softening” while the pro-Trump supporters took this as a repudiation of everything they had been promised. At a town hall hosted by Sean Hannity, Donald Trump actually spoke to the concerns of how a massive deportation effort might have on breaking up families. The voices from the hall made it very clear: throw them all out.


So what’s a bellicose demagogue with a head like a saggy basketball supposed to do?


Go to Mexico, that’s what. 


Believe it or not, Donald Trump was answering an invitation from Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto to come visit Mexico sometime. Of course, President Nieto didn’t really expect the guy take him up on it.


“Mr. Mexican President, Donald Trump is here to see you.”


“What the fuck? Really?”


Except I’m sure that was said in Spanish or Mexicanese or something. Also, I know the secretary wouldn’t address the Mexican President as “Mr. Mexican President”. She would address him as “Dr. Mexican President”. 


But damned if Donald Trump didn’t show up in all his burnt umber glory, the alien creature atop his head that serves as his hairpiece and foreign policy advisor gently wafting in the Mexican breeze. Donald tried to make nice and look all grown up, you know, the way you dress a six year old boy in a suit and gush over how grown up he looks as he absently mindedly picks his nose. That kind of grown up.


Donald Trump said the visit went well. No, the subject of the wall didn’t come up but would be discussed later.


Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto said that was a lie, the wall did come up and Nieto made it perfectly clear that Mexico wasn’t paying for any damn wall.


Former Mexican President Vincente Fox said the same thing about the wall except he managed to throw the word “fucking” in there before the word “wall”. 


Winging his way back from Mexico towards a rally in Arizona, the world wondered what kind of Donald Trump would be touching down on American soil? Would his visit to Mexico change him? Would he have a more pragmatic view of immigration reform? Would Trump promise compassion in the use of his power if elected President?


Oh, come on! This is Donald Trump we’re talking about here. In front of his fear fraught followers, assembled under an Arizona sunset that matched the tone of Donald’s face, the Republican nominee once more invoked the wall, that big, beautiful wall. Trump once more summoned up the specter of a mass deportation force to be deployed across the land. Those gathered there found comfort in the warm darkness of their fear and hatred.

Donald Trump was still Donald Trump.

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OK, that’s that for today. Another post coming up tomorrow as I share a few thoughts about Gene Wilder.


Until next time, remember to be good to one another.  

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