Friday, August 23, 2013

Broken News for Friday. August 23rd, 2013


Happy Friday to you all!

You have arrived at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, now gluten free!



I'm Dave-El and thanks for dropping by.


We have a new set of headlines and photos for our weekly feature, bROkEN nEWs!. Other blogs may post lame humor based on current events but only bROkEN nEWs! will tell up front that, yeah, these jokes are lame.

That's my guarantee to you, the reader.

But before we get into that, let's take a look at this:


San Diego Mayor Filner Resigns: "I Never Sexually Harassed Anyone"

Sigh!

Someone still doesn't get it, does he? Well, now that Bob Filner has stepped down as mayor of San Diego, he will have more time to broaden his education about women at this place:



 At the Bob Filner Institute For Women's Studies of San Diego, Bob can learn such valuable lessons as "You just can't go grabbing a woman's boobs even though they're right there and look ripe for squeezin'." OK, that is wrong, got that? Are you writing that down? Are you drawing female breasts right now? Sigh!

Don't forget, this Saturday at the Bob Filner Institute For Women's Studies of San Diego is the Last of Summer Blow Out Bikini Contest!

Let's do bROkEN nEWs!

in 5...
 
4...
 
3...
 
2...
     #BrokenNews “Feds Probing JPMorgan   
    For Bribery” Anally, we hope.
 

   #BrokenNews “CIA Admits It Was Behind Iran's 1953 Coup” And the CIA also confessed to creating the Edsel.
 
 

#BrokenNews “A Third Of Louisiana Republicans Blame Obama For Katrina Response” Also Obama’s fault: The Great Depression and the Vietnam War
 

 Also Obama’s fault:

 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
  #BrokenNews “Chaos Erupts After A-Rod Plunked” So THAT explains all the fighting in Egypt and Syria.
 

   #BrokenNews “Rand Paul: Christie Started It!” The Great “Did Not/Did Too” Political Debate Strategy (AKA, The Kindergarten Playground Maneuver)"
 

 
#BrokenNews “Reince Priebus Mocks Romney Aide With Etch A Sketch Joke” He’s been waiting a WHOLE YEAR to use that line. (A whole year, I tells ya!)
 
 

   #BrokenNews “Fox News Contributor Blames Facebook For Oklahoma Shooting” Dammit! Get with the program! Blame Obama!
 

   #BrokenNews “Gitmo Guards Give '50 Shades' Erotic Novel To Detainee, Says Lawyer” He’s now totally confused on the subject of subjugating women.
 

   #BrokenNews “Fox News Fires Its Veteran Attack Dog, Then Attacks Him” Both sides are blaming Obama.
______________________________
 
Now let's take break for our new feature...
 
bROkEN nEWs in pICTuREs
 


______________________________
 
OK, back to the headlines... 

  #BrokenNews “Weiner's Sexting Partner Releases New Porno” Weiner was the first to upload it to his phone. 

   #BrokenNews “GOP's Tea Party tempest reaches new plateauNew Tea Party claim: Obama wasn’t born anywhere, he’s a figment of Nancy Pelosi’s imagination.

 

   #BrokenNews DeMint: Replace Republicans who oppose defund Obamacare strategy Because that’s been working well for them so far.
 
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results." 
Albert Einstein



#BrokenNews “Dollywood to get $300 million upgradeDolly Parton herself to get a $300 million upgrade as well.
 
 
 
 
 


   
 #BrokenNews “HOSTAGE TAKERS: GOP Considers Another Debt Ceiling Showdown” What? Again? Look, could they be armed with LaserCats, just to make this even remotely interesting? 
 

   #BrokenNews “Stalker Reportedly Goes Unnoticed In J.Lo's Home For 6 Nights” He was disguised a floor lamp in a guest bedroom. He was discovered when someone tried to change his bulb.


 
 









#BrokenNews “Lindsay Lohan Forgets To Wear Pants On Night Out” Well, you can’t expect her to remember everything!

 
  
 All righty then! That's enough damage for one day! This has been bROkEN nEWs!, brought to you by the Bob Filner Institute For Women's Studies of San Diego with special guest instructor Paula Deen who will provide a special seminar on how to talk to women who might also be black.
 
Don't forget Dave-El can also be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo, playing his blues triangle for spare change.
 
Be good to one another.
 
 
 

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