Sunday, August 18, 2013

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor#10

Hi, there!

Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that's
 up all night to get lucky
up all night to get lucky
up all night to get lucky

As you can tell from the headline for today's post, it's that time again to pay the bills. It's time for a blog commercial from one of our sponsors.

I do try to keep the advertising to a minimum. Our last commercial was posted 4 weeks ago with a word from our first sponsor, American Glory. 

Today, we hear from another of this blog's sponsors and it is a bit of sad occasion.

I think.

Read on.....

_____________________________________________________

 

Stay tuned for an IMPORTANT

commercial announcement!

 
 
 

 
 ATTENTION, THE BUYING PUBLIC!!!
 
Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium
has gone into
Chapter 11 bankruptcy
and their entire stock of
plain, white and unmarked vans
MUST GO!
 
  • Are you in the market for a van?
  • Does it need to be plain?
  • Does it need to white?
  • Does it need to be unmarked?
 
Then there's NO better time than NOW to save and SAVE BIG at
 
The Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium Bankruptcy Clear Out Sales Event!

 
You can find a wide selection of vans with absolutely NO variety AT ALL!
 
  • They're all plain!
  • They're all white!
  • They're all unmarked!
 
And they're ALL being sold at
ROCK BOTTOM PRICES!
ROCK BOTTOM PRICES!!
ROCK BOTTOM PRICES!!!
 
Plain white unmarked vans are
the ULTIMATE utility vehicles!
Whatever it is you need to do...
YOU'RE GONNA NEED A VAN!!
 
So come on down, one and all, to Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium and get the plain, white, unmarked van of your choice TODAY!!
 
NOTICE
Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, it's owners including Dewayne DeFontaine and the DeFontaine family, trustees, creditors and other associated parties do not condone or endorse any of the following illicit activities that may be perpetrated by those parties who may engage in a purchase from Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium:
  

Abuse (Verbal or Physical)

Arson 

Assault

Assault and Battery

Blackmail

Breaking and Entering

Bribery

Credit Fraud (also Fraud) 

Driving Under the Influence

Embezzlement

Espionage

Human Trafficking

Illegal Narcotics and associated activities including but not limited to: 

Distribution 

Growing

Harvesting

Possession

Processing  

Selling

Soliciting  

Using 

_________________________

Kidnapping

Larceny

Littering

Manslaughter

Murder and Attempted Murder

Poaching

Prostitution

Public Disturbance

Rape and Attempted Rape

Reckless Endangerment

Sexual Assault

Solicitation for Sex

Spying

Stalking

Threats

Torture

Treason

Trespassing 

Vandalism

Vehicular Assault

Waterboarding

 
So come on down to Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium, off the service road 3 miles east of the Business I-97/Old Mill Road interchange, right across from the NEW Hardee's.

We're open Monday to Sunday, 9 AM to 7 PM until the last van is sold!

ALL sales are FINAL! CASH ONLY!

Sorry, no chickens!


The Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium Bankruptcy Clear Out Sales Event
...happening NOW!
_____________________________________________________
OK, I guess that should've not been a big surprise after the last commercial from the Emporium when found Dewayne's son, Dewayne Jr...AKA, Rama Lama Dee, had taken over the company (click here for that spot.)

In case you're wondering about that legal disclaimer in the middle of the ad, you can see here and here the kind of clientele Dewayne DeFontaine was appealing to even as he expressed his outright disgust at that clientele. What can I say? The man had issues but he also had vans to sell. No wonder he had a breakdown.

Good luck to the DeFontaine family and the staff down at Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium. Maybe we'll see you back in business again some day because people do need plain, white, unmarked vans.

Our other sponsor, American Glory Insurance, have resume advertising (as we saw 4 weeks ago) after resolving their legal dispute with the Scooby Doo people.

Thank you for your time and patience, dear reader. Tomorrow, a return to clever, insightful blog posts.

Oh hell, why start now?

More of the usual shit...tomorrow!

Be good to one another.


Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

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