Thursday, August 1, 2013

Instruments...of DEATH!

Hi! Dave-El here and this my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that cares about...whoever you are.

This morning as I was getting ready for work and listening to my favorite morning radio show (Two Guys Named Chris on Rock 92) and the gang were discussing karaoke do's and don'ts. The biggest don't is not passing the mike to the next person when it's time to pass the mike. Nobody wants to see your ass up there singing 4 or 5 songs in a row. It's not your personal concert venue.

Not passing the mike in karaoke is not only rude but in the case of one man in particular, it can be....MURDER!

Here's a link to a story on this but here's the gist of it: a 51 year old American tourist in Thailand (where nothing bad ever happens to anyone) had been knocking back a few and decided to regale the audience with his singing "talents". Then regale them again. And again. The dude would not stop singing! So the karaoke band tries to make him stop but our American tourist has other ideas. (Any bets that at some point, he drunkenly slurred, "You can't make me stop! This is America", temporarily forgetting...or not caring...that he's in Thailand.)

So the boys of the band and our American tourist take it outside where they calmly resolved their differences and everyone had a good laugh over the whole thing. The end.

Oh, hell no! There's a drunk, belligerent 51 year old American tourist who will not give up his dream of being Thailand's (or wherever the hell he is) next great karaoke singer. Of course this turns violent.

But exactly how violent is a bit surprising when the karaoke band stabs him. To death!

OK, children, the lesson today: Do NOT mess with a karaoke band; they will straight up gut you with a shiv.

Now I'm sharing this story mostly because what happened next in my home. My wife and I were in the kitchen getting breakfast and I was sharing this story.  After I was finished, she sat the table looking puzzled for a moment, then she asked, "What did they stab him with?"

"Knives, I guess," I replied.

A look of sudden realization crossed her face and she exclaimed, "Oh, I see!"

"What?" I asked.

She answered, "I thought the band stabbed the guy with their musical instruments."

I doubled over with laughter. It was early in the morning but I'm thinking this will be funniest damn thing I've heard all day. (And so far, it has.)

Recovering my composure, I had to ask: "How would you stab someone with a musical instrument?"

She said, "Well, that's what I was wondering about!"

OK, that's it for me tonight. Friday we'll have Broken News when (fair warning) I will use the same Star Wars punchline THREE times! And Saturday is my weekly Doctor Who post with part 4 of The Nemesis Who Stole Time. Until next...

Always pass the mike.  

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