Friday, August 16, 2013

Broken News for Friday, August 16, 2013

Hello, boys and girls and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. I am Dave-El and if my blog is tragedy, why are you my remedy?


It's FRIDAY and that means it's time for another edition of.....

bROkEN nEWs!

Don't blame me; the news was broken when I found it.

So Area 51 is out there for everyone to see and, of course, there are no aliens or spacecraft to be seen. (Those have been cleverly hidden in Area 52.)

In fact it turns out Area 51 is just a theme restaurant....so tonight's edition of Broken News is brought to you by....

AREA 51 BAR & GRILL
 
*Home of the Cosmic Cosmo!
*Out of this world drink specials every night!
*Try our variety appetizer platter, the Flying Saucer!
*Dig in to our Planetary Pasta, Stellar Steaks and Extraterrestrial Enchiladas!
*Come out to party at the Space Oddity Karaoke Bar!
 
So come join the fun at Area 51 Bar & Grill!
 
And now....let's do bROkEN nEWs! in 5...
 
4...
 
3...
 
2...
 
 

” …in the back of a dude’s college dorm room mini-fridge. (“It’s ALIVE!”) 

 
#BrokenNews “BP Sues U.S. Government” Really breaks my heart to see these 2 kids end up this way.
 

#BrokenNews “N.C. Governor Signs Restrictive Voter ID Bill Into Law” Don’t worry about me: I’m a white male landowner so I’m good.   
 

#BrokenNews “8 Surprising Things That Can Boost Your Self-Esteem” That’s great! I think. Do I deserve self-esteem? Whatever is fine by me.
 

#BrokenNews “GOP's Latest Obamacare Freakout Makes No Sense” As opposed to what? The other GOP freakouts? What is it this time? Obamacare will make your baby gay? Under Obamacare, an ounce of prevention will only be worth ½ pound of cure?



#BrokenNews “Deficit Set To Hit 5-Year Low” The federal budget goes from super fucked up to just fucked up, so...progress, y'all!

#BrokenNews “Big Tech Company CEO Is Totally Fine With NSA Surveillance” Well, whose tech do you think the NSA is using for surveillance?
 

#BrokenNews “The Deadliest Part Of Japan's Nuclear Cleanup気をつけろ!それはゴジラだ!Aieee! Godzilla!
 
 



#BrokenNews “Official Calls For Legalized Pot In New York City” Adding, “Because…you know…freedom ‘n’ stuff…yeah! Whut?”
 

#BrokenNews “Even Hooters Speaks Out Against Filthy Filner” The San Diego mayor was a lousy tipper.

Hey, speak of Hooters, here are some girls from Hooters now....



Why did I post this?
...
Seriously, do I need a reason?
 
On with the news!
 
 #BrokenNews “Gay Couple Hosts Incredible  Batman-Themed Wedding” Those little cocktail wienies were called “Boy Wonders”!
 

#BrokenNews “Massive SWAT Raid Seizes Organic Okra” Okra is a gateway veggie that could lead to stronger veggies like asparagus!
 

#BrokenNews “1,000 Dead Fish Found In Pond On National MallJoe Biden’s been peeing in the pond again!
 

#BrokenNews “Romanian Princess Reportedly Arrested For Cockfighting” Oddly enough, no chickens were involved.


And NOW......
bROkEN nEWs...in PICTURES!!

 


OK, that's it for bROkEN nEWs! brought to you by Area 51 Bar & Grill! Monday's are Manic Martian Mondays with dessert and drink specials all night long!
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And don't forget, Dave-El is also on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo.
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Tomorrow: Doctor Who Saturday with part 5 of The Nemesis Who Stole Time.

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OK, one more for the road>>>>>>>




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