Hello to all you boys and girls out there. And a special 'allo to the royal baby of William and Kate.
Ah, think about this little tyke, third in line for the British throne. But believe it or not, it's not a done deal. No, there's rigorous training involved for the royal wee one. When he's older, he'll have to learn the family business, working in the mail room and cleaning out the dungeon. Eventually he'll work his way up the ladder from Assistant Prince to Vice-King before he gets the big job itself. But the struggle up that ladder will be worth it. I mean, he won't have the power to have people thrown in the Tower of London to be tortured or beheaded but I'm sure there will be other fun King stuff to do.
Well, on to business. As I've noted before, producing a quality blog of witty and insightful commentary doesn't come cheap. Or so I'm told. Me, all I know is from the shit I post here. But we still need money. So that means we need sponsors. Which means we need to run a commercial once in a while to pay the bills.
So today, we present an ALL NEW text commercial from an old commercial sponsor of this blog.
The scene opens up with footage from an MTV Music Video Awards show. Taylor Swift has taken the stage to accept an award.
Everyone looks alarmed and the retiree looks crestfallen as his great moment has been ruined.
Cut back to the set with Taylor and Mike as Beyoncé enters.
Cut back to Taylor, Mike and Beyoncé.
Well, how do you like that? A new commercial from American Glory! Great to see you guys again!*
*Note to self: check with lawyers, make sure we're not on the hook for any of this shit.
In case you're curious...or masochistic...or both, here are links to the previous American Glory commercials posted on this blog.
- Insurance Against Whippersnappers
- Alien Abduction Coverage (with better features!)
- Vampire Insurance
- Spanish Inquisition Insurance
- Meddling Kids Malpractice Insurance
So remember: for $5.00 a month, American Glory will do ANYTHING!**
***That'll cost you $8.00.****
****OK, we LIKE you. $7.00.
Thanks for popping by I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. Come by tomorrow when we've something...
OK, it will be some...thing...more or less.
Be good to one another.
Dave-El can also be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo where I get my sexy back as