*Sorry, I recently watched an episode of Adam-12 on ME TV. Man, Reed and Malloy had to deal with some real far out happening cats, you dig?**
**Hopefully this will wear off soon.***
***Oh, good! It has.
Here at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, it is my promise to you, the loyal internet reader, to provide you with high quality comedy and insightful thinking. And as anyone can tell who has actually read this blog, I am extraordinarily bad at keeping my promises.
But I do keep trying your patience but to do that, I need support, financial support from a commercial sponsor, a sponsor with a strong reputation for integrity and first class service.
Or we can run another spot from American Glory.
"American Glory: Let other guys insure your life, home and car. We'll insure the rest of your shit."
They are such a class act. And they will insure anything for as little as $5.00 a month. How can do that? They have no overhead...or standards...or values..or an actual working business model...or a clue...or...
Oh, let's run the commercial already!
Scene: a sparsely furnished room as if designed by a cost cutting animation studio.
SCOOBY (confused): Ru-Huh?!
AGENT: And these fiends would get away with it too if it weren’t for these meddling kids. American Glory’s meddling kids malpractice coverage allows them to continue to ferret out fraudulent phantoms with security and peace of mind for only $5.00 a month!
SCOOBY (poses heroically again): Scooby-scooby-dooooo!!
SHAGGY (arm around Scooby): Yeah, like, thanks, American Glory!
So I was dating this girl who said she had a sex fantasy where she and a guy were dressed like Daphne and Fred from Scooby-Doo. Daphne would be all tied up and stuff and Fred would come to the rescue and they'd do it really hot and heavy, oh yeah. I thought it sounded kind of hot until she told me she wanted to be Fred and I would have to dress as Daphne. Yeah, that was kinda weird and I made it clear I wasn't into that freaky stuff and I wouldn't do anything like that..you know, more than two or three--what? The commercial's over? Oh.
Welcome back, kids!
OK, once again I want to thank our...hold on, let me check something....
Banking app...enter user name....password....access account activity...looks like the check cleared...good.
I want to thank our sponsor, American Glory! Remember American Glory: If you think it's too stupid to be insured, American Glory will insure it!
Thank you for dropping by! Come back tomorrow to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You for
And I don't want to forget my other sponsor for my Twitter posts (https://twitter.com/DayWayLo), Summer's Eve Industrial Glue. If you want to hold on to something really tight, think Summer's Eve Industrial Glue. And look for the BRAND NEW Summer's Eve Industrial Solvent with your choice of lemon scented or classic sandalwood.