#Headlines for Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

I don't know what all the facts is, I don't make a living off other people's taxes...but I do post #Headlines with snarky comments.

And away we go.......

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#Headline "Top admiral: US can intercept a North Korean missile" Adding, "It's as easy as Michigan beating Louisville..wait..what?"

#Headline "Thatcher funeral plans as divisive as her politics" Should mourners gloat quietly to themselves or is outright gaffawing allowed?

#Headline "Jury: Exxon owes $236m for polluting groundwater" Exxon asks if anyone has change for a $500 million dollar bill.

#Headline "Iraqi al-Qaeda, Syria militants formally merge" Oh, great! The price of suicide bombers will go up & customer service will suffer

#Headline "With CEO gone, what JCPenney must do now" JCP ends up huddling for warmth with Sears near a garbage can fire at the mall Cinnabon

#Headline "Flier accused of groping flight attendant" Flier opts for the "That's how they do it on Mad Men" defense.

#Headline "Gun instructor said he'd 'kill' if gun laws passed" But what will he kill with, I wonder. (Perhaps he'll use a sword?)

#Headlines "White House to propose tougher tax fraud laws" Damn! There goes my plan to declare the cast of "Modern Family" as dependents.

#Headline "Ford Focus is the world's best-selling auto" Also, vanilla voted best ice cream flavor & mayo beats salsa as the best condiment.

#Headline "Hooters sued by former waitress in war over wig" Wait a minute! Hooters waitresses have HAIR? Who thinks to look that high?

#Headline "Letterman grills Lohan on rehab on 'Late Show'" Later, Dave said she was kind of chewy but had a lovely mesquite flavor.

#Headline "British grandmother claims she was raised by monkeys" I say, what rubbish! Wait...by jove she's hurling poo at us! Most peculiar.
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For the real stories behind the real headlines, go to http://www.nbcnews.com/

And I'm on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo where I horn in on conversations that have nothing to do with me... I am beloved for that.