Tuesday, April 9, 2013

#Headlines for Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

I don't know what all the facts is, I don't make a living off other people's taxes...but I do post with snarky comments.

And away we go.......


"Top admiral: US can intercept a North Korean missile" Adding, "It's as easy as Michigan beating Louisville..wait..what?"

"Thatcher funeral plans as divisive as her politics" Should mourners gloat quietly to themselves or is outright gaffawing allowed?

"Jury: Exxon owes $236m for polluting groundwater" Exxon asks if anyone has change for a $500 million dollar bill.

#Headline "Iraqi al-Qaeda, Syria militants formally merge" Oh, great! The price of suicide bombers will go up & customer service will suffer

"With CEO gone, what JCPenney must do now" JCP ends up huddling for warmth with Sears near a garbage can fire at the mall Cinnabon

"Flier accused of groping flight attendant" Flier opts for the "That's how they do it on Mad Men" defense.

"Gun instructor said he'd 'kill' if gun laws passed" But what will he kill with, I wonder. (Perhaps he'll use a sword?)

"White House to propose tougher tax fraud laws" Damn! There goes my plan to declare the cast of "Modern Family" as dependents.

"Ford Focus is the world's best-selling auto" Also, vanilla voted best ice cream flavor & mayo beats salsa as the best condiment.

"Hooters sued by former waitress in war over wig" Wait a minute! Hooters waitresses have HAIR? Who thinks to look that high?

"Letterman grills Lohan on rehab on 'Late Show'" Later, Dave said she was kind of chewy but had a lovely mesquite flavor.

"British grandmother claims she was raised by monkeys" I say, what rubbish! Wait...by jove she's hurling poo at us! Most peculiar.

For the real stories behind the real headlines, go to http://www.nbcnews.com/

And I'm on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo where I horn in on conversations that have nothing to do with me... I am beloved for that.

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