Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice....

CAUTION: Do NOT be fooled by the happy, smiling faces of the Super Friends. The following post contains bad words. 

Lots of bad words. 

Admittedly a lot of bad words not used in proper context but still...

OK, you're thinking, how bad can this be? Let's try a simple test: 


Are you uncomfortable? You can't be believe I used that word?

Then stop now. Cause it gets worse. 

Way worse. 

They're like FRIENDS, only SUPER!

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice, the Super Friends are assessing the situation after a brazen attack on their very own headquarters by the criminal mastermind Professor Meanie and his henchmen. While his henchmen were no match for the powers of the Super Friends, the plunderous professor has disappeared with the mystic Ruby of Siam that the Super Friends were holding for safe keeping.

Robin: Gosh, Batman! I can't believe criminals would dare attack the Hall of Justice!

Batman: Don't worry, Robin, old chum. We will find Professor Meanie AND the stolen mystic Ruby of Siam.

Aquaman: Well said, Batman! It's only a matter of time before-

EDITOR's NOTE: Ted Nelson, our regular writer, has suddenly taken ill from eating too many burritos and possibly (but we're NOT saying anything) a little too much Jack Daniels. However, we're on a really tight deadline so we immediately turn the scripting of this Super Friends adventure to the most immediate writer on hand. Thanks to Michael J. Thompson Jr for helping...oh, he prefers to be called...."Ice...Dog"? OK then!

Aquaman: Sure shit, Batman! We gonna beat the clock and show this motherfucker we ARE the damn shit!

Robin: True that, homey!

Batman: Slow it down, bitches! We gotta find this motherfucker first, yo!

Superman: Man, that Professor Meanie is a long gone fucker! Hell, even my X-Ray vision can find that-

EDITOR' s NOTE: We thank, Ice Dog...for his help with the script but Ted says he's feeling much better now and could we please let him back to the keyboard. So, welcome back, Ted as we continue with the adventures of the Super Friends.

Superman: That criminal mastermind, Professor Meanie, is still missing. Even I have not been able to find him with my X-Ray vision.

Robin: Holy Blind Side! What can we do if even Superman can't-

EDITOR's NOTE: Er, perhaps Ted was a bit too hasty in returning to the script. Blast it! If this deadline wasn't so tight. Is there anyone who can....besides Ice Dog, I mean...who can...sigh. OK, Ice Dog, take it away.
Robin: Bull shit! We are so fucked up if Superman can't find him with those fuckin' peepers.

Batman: Yo, Wonder Ho!

Wonder Woman: Hey, fuck face! You call me Wonder Ho one more time, I'm gonna rip off your Bat-Dick and shove it up your Bat-Ass so far...

Aquaman: Hey, chill, Wonder Baby!

Wonder Woman: Bat-Freak don't want none, best not start none!

Batman: Hey, back off, bitch! Just gonna suggest you lay down some whammy with that damn magic rope of yours...

Wonder Woman: I was gonna do that! Don't you be telling me my job, jackass, or-

EDITOR's NOTE: Hey, good news! Ted's back! (Sit up, Ted.) Thanks again, Mi--Ice Dog--for helping us out (Stay awake, Ted) but we got it from here. (C'mon, Ted, work that magic.)

Wonder Woman: I have my magic lasso on his henchmen but they don't know where he is either. That seems most unlikely they can resist the lasso's compulsion to tell the truth.

Superman: Perhaps a post hypnotic suggestion planted by Professor Meanie to block or wipe their memories in case of capture.

Robin: Holy Hypnotists! What now?

Batman: Perhaps I can use my enhanced deductive prowess to fhshjmeyrbZ

EDITOR's NOTE: Let me assure you that Ted Nelson is NOT dead. (Please don't be dead!) Look, this deadline is really bad so we need  to keep going with the script. So the Super Friends adventure will be written by Jose Martinez Garcia Lopez who's previous credits the toilets. Gotta go! (Nobody tell Michael. Please don't die, Ted!)

Robin: Hipnotizadores Santos! ¿Y ahora qué

Batman: Tal vez puedo usar mi habilidad deductiva mejorada para buscar pistas!

Aquaman: Pediré a los peces si han visto nada.

EDITOR's NOTE: Oh, fuck this! Ice Dog?

Robin: Oh, hell to the no! What the shit we gonna do now?

Batman: Hey, laying down the detective shit's my thing y'all. Let me put my thing down and see what develops.

Aquaman: Yo, man! I'm gonna rap with the fish, see if they've seen any shit going down.

Superman: Shit!

Wonder Woman: That's so fucked up!

Robin: Damn, boy! Those fish not gonna help with shit, man!

Batman: Yo, shut the fuck up, y'all! These clues're laying it all out: Professor Meanie's shit's going down at the damn aquarium!

Aquaman: Yo, for real, man? You're not fuckin' me with this shit?

Batman: ..........oh, hell! Shit, man, I'm just fuckin' with you! 

Will the Super Friends be able to find Professor Meanie and the mystic Ruby of Siam before its too late? And will Batman keep fucking with Aquaman? (Oh, shut the hell up! We've gone to far to stop now.) 

Stay time on....SUPER FRIENDS!

EDITOR's NOTE: The previous editor has been sacked and Ice Dog's having a chat with the police regarding some outstanding warrants. We offer our condolences to the family of Ted Nelson. And starting next time, our new writer will be Jose Martinez Garcia Lopez on the ALL NEW adventures of Súper Amigos!

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