Sunday, April 21, 2013

Earth Day? Again?

Today, April 21, 2013, is Earth Day.

Once again, we celebrate this world we live on, a haven of life and sustenance as it spins in the dark and lifeless void of space. The Earth: it is powerful, it gives us life. But it is also fragile; we are altering the course of this world and not always for the better.

So we take this time, this day, to truly appreciate what a special gift the Earth is and our great and wonderful responsibility for it, for ourselves and our children.

Just look at the Earth. Look at it!

As this precious planet holds us safe in the cradle of it's life giving essence of land, water and air, let's take a moment to consider a most surprising truth:

Mother Earth is a selfish BITCH!

I mean, really! She pours down rain on me no matter what my plans are. My garden party has been ruined! Thanks for nothing, you planetary hussy!

And we put down a few million miles of paved highways that criss-cross all over her so we can travel faster to better see her wonders preserved in national parks and amusement parks on the way to my beach house. But is she grateful? Oh hell no! She makes the weather hot. Then hotter! And HOTTER! What the hell? What did I do to deserve that? Great! Now we have to put down even more millions of miles of paved highways so I can speed up my trip to my mountain chateau.

And don't get me started about earthquakes! Mother Earth gets a bit of indigestion and the next thing you know, parts of her start to shake and shimmy. (Maybe Mother Earth should lose a few pounds.) The ground opens up and poor people start falling in. Poor people! What a terrible thing to do, Mother Earth, making me think about poor people. I don't like thinking about poor people! But do you care? NO! You and your little earthquakes. They can really mess up my day!

Now we have to have a whole DAY dedicated to the Earth? A WHOLE DAY?! Egotistical much? Look around you, missy; you're not the only planet in the solar system. Oh, yeah! What, too insecure to let another planet have a turn?

People, we need to show the Earth who's the boss!*

*No, not the classic series starting Tony Danza & Judith Light

And that means we can't let this world run all over us and expect this to be Earth Day every year. Another of our planetary neighbors deserves a shot.

How about Uranus? How come we can't show a little love for Uranus?

Hey, there are rings around Uranus! I did not know that; I must of overlooked them before.
And there's so much we don't know about Uranus but could if Earth wasn't always hogging our attention. Why, we could send a probe to Uranus. Perhaps even visit the surface around Uranus and examine what lies beneath. We could probe down deep in the dark areas of Uranus until we've wiped away all the mysteries that surround Uranus.
So let's take a moment away from that self-center Earth insisting on everyone's attention and remember to show some love for Uranus. Tonight, look into the dark night sky and tell Uranus how much it means to you. Uranus should mean a lot to us all.
So while you remember the Earth today, also remember Uranus.
Thank you.
No, I was not rocketed away from Uranus. Why do you ask? Anyway, I can be found on Twitter at, telling truth to the Earth and all our solar system neighbors (including Uranus).

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