Friday, April 19, 2013

(A Very Different) The Huff Post Hop for Friday, April 19, 2013

Hello and welcome to Friday.

It’s about damn time! It’s been a hell of a week!

Starting with the Boston Marathon bombing on Monday…a horrible tragedy with 3 lives lost and under 200 people injured, some quite severely. But in the heart of this unspeakable horror unleashed by the worst of humanity, we saw the best of humanity as people rushed towards the chaos to help those in need. The citizens of Boston pulled together in a unity of strength and determination to stand up to the evil forces of terror; indeed all of America joined together in a common spirit of support and prayer for  Boston. Yes, in the face of the worst, humanity at its best.

Then humanity had to show its ass when on Wednesday as the US Senate voted down expanding background checks for gun purchases, something that 93% of Americans (including gun owners) were in favor of. The senators voted against this measure in total disregard for the voice of the people but in a blatant and shameless fealty to the NRA and the next primary election. Common sense and compassion were once again trumped by greed and naked political ambition.

And someone, somewhere must have said, “Well, things can’t get worse” because they did: an explosion at a fertilizer plant in Texas that has left 14 (so far) dead, over 200 injured and an entire community devastated in every sense.

But before we could process that tragic event, the pendulum swings back to Boston as we learn evil has a face. Two faces, in fact, two brothers identified as the suspected bombers. One was sent on a express route to Hell this morning; the other one may be about to punch his travel ticket there any minute now as I write this.

So much death, destruction, pain, stupidity, greed…it’s hard to think about being funny.*
*See my uncharacteristically serious pieces posted Monday ("River of Sorrow") and Thursday ("Vox Populi").
Every Friday, I do my little “mock the news” thing I called the #HuffPostHop, my allegedly funny take on #Headlines from the #HuffingtonPost. Now, no one out there is demanding I do this; in fact, my precious few followers on Twitter probably wish I would stop. But it’s a good creative exercise and I’d like to think that occassionally I come up with a particularly good quip that I could hear Jon Stewart or Seth Meyers say on television. 

As I say, this is a creative exercise; that means I don’t do this when I think I have something funny. I do this because it’s Friday and it’s what I do. The best kind of writing practice is writing something when you’re not really sure where it’s going to go.

So I jumped into the deep of end of Twitter and posted my latest round of the #HuffPostHop. I never promise it will be good; I just commit that on Friday, it will be there.

Maybe I should’ve given this a pass today...

...but I'm not going to let the terrorists win. So here we 5...4...3...2...

#HuffPostHop "New Details On Boston Bombing Suspects" OK, not doing a joke about this. Let's see what else is out there...

Bombing...Boston...Here's something not in Boston #HuffPostHop "60 People Still Missing After Texas Explosion" Nope, not funny...moving on…

Explosion in Texas…people dead...OK, leaving Texas. What have you got #HuffPostHop? "Chicago Gun Violence Epidemic Continues" Damn it! Next?

Something good outside the USA, #HuffPostHop? Try this: "Dozens Killed In Suicide Attack At Baghdad Cafe" WTF? (sigh) Don't give up, Dave-El!

Bombs! Shootings! Explosions! Ack! I can't do a #HuffPostHop this week! How does @TheOnion do it?I'm going to @CBR to make fun of their news

OK, no #HuffPostHop this week! Instead we do #TheCBRRoam. No bad stuff there! "Boston Comic Con Postponed Due To Lockdown" Son of a bitch!

Back to the #HuffPostHop! Please, give me something! "Smell That Attracts Women Most" Boys think its tons of Axe body spray! (Psst! It's not.)*
*OK, pretty lame, I know, but I gotta start somewhere.

#HuffPostHop "7 Mistakes You're Making With Bacon" There's only two I can think of: 1) not eating it 2) eating it with the wrong orifice.

#HuffPostHop "Is He Cheating? Answer Depends On One Thing..." Does he say stuff to the wife like, "I wish you were more like my girlfriend"?

#HuffPostHop "Nicki Stuns 'Idol' Audience With Mariah Remark" Meanwhile Keith Urban stuns no one by wishing he wasn't there.

#HuffPostHop "10 Ways To Hold It Together When You Feel Like You Can't" Surprised that NONE of these involved duct tape.

#HuffPostHop "Kim Kardashian's Bump Plays Peekaboo" Unborn child embarrassed to be seen with a Kardashian.

And finally #HuffPostHop "In Wake Of Tragedy, Anger, Fear And Tears Are Normal Response, Say Experts" Also farting, right?

Well, that was a mess of a #HuffPostHop this week..but it's been a mess of a week! Continue to pray for Boston, for justice & for healing.

UPDATE: Just as I was publishing this blog, breaking news: The 2nd bombing suspect has been captured alive. So score one for the good guys! And good news for the rest of America: no more continuous manhunt coverage from CNN and FOX News.

For the real stories behind these headlines and more, got to The Huffington Post at
Special thanks to Comic Book Resources at for the Special Guest Headline.
See if I continue to test the boundaries between courage and lame humor on Twitter at


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