Hello
and welcome to Friday.
It’s
about damn time! It’s been a hell of a week!
Starting
with the Boston Marathon bombing on
Monday…a horrible tragedy with 3 lives lost and under 200 people injured, some
quite severely. But in the heart of this unspeakable horror unleashed by the
worst of humanity, we saw the best of humanity as people rushed towards the
chaos to help those in need. The citizens of Boston pulled together in a unity
of strength and determination to stand up to the evil forces of terror; indeed
all of America joined together in a common spirit of support and prayer
for Boston. Yes, in the face of the
worst, humanity at its best.
Then
humanity had to show its ass when on Wednesday
as the US Senate voted down
expanding background checks for gun purchases, something that 93% of Americans (including gun owners)
were in favor of. The senators voted against this measure in total disregard
for the voice of the people but in a blatant and shameless fealty to the NRA
and the next primary election. Common sense and compassion were once again
trumped by greed and naked political ambition.
And
someone, somewhere must have said, “Well,
things can’t get worse” because they did: an explosion at a fertilizer
plant in Texas that has left 14 (so
far) dead, over 200 injured and an entire community devastated in every sense.
But
before we could process that tragic event, the pendulum swings back to Boston
as we learn evil has a face. Two faces, in fact, two brothers identified as the suspected bombers. One was sent on a
express route to Hell this morning; the other one may be about to punch his
travel ticket there any minute now as I write this.
So much
death, destruction, pain, stupidity, greed…it’s hard to think about being
funny.*
*See my uncharacteristically serious pieces posted Monday ("River of Sorrow") and Thursday ("Vox Populi").
Every
Friday, I do my little “mock the news” thing I called the #HuffPostHop,
my allegedly funny take on #Headlines from the #HuffingtonPost. Now, no one out there is
demanding I do this; in fact, my precious few followers on Twitter probably
wish I would stop. But it’s a good creative exercise and I’d like to think that
occassionally I come up with a particularly good quip that I could hear Jon Stewart or Seth Meyers say on
television.
As I say,
this is a creative exercise; that means I don’t do this when I think I have
something funny. I do this because it’s Friday and it’s what I do. The best kind
of writing practice is writing something when you’re not really sure where it’s
going to go.
So I
jumped into the deep of end of Twitter and posted my latest round of the #HuffPostHop.
I never promise it will be good; I just commit that on Friday, it will be
there.
Maybe I
should’ve given this a pass today...
...but I'm not going to let the terrorists win. So here
we go...in 5...4...3...2...
#HuffPostHop
"New Details On Boston Bombing Suspects" OK, not doing a joke about
this. Let's see what else is out there...
Bombing...Boston...Here's
something not in Boston #HuffPostHop "60 People Still
Missing After Texas Explosion" Nope, not funny...moving on…
Explosion
in Texas…people dead...OK, leaving Texas. What have you got #HuffPostHop? "Chicago Gun Violence
Epidemic Continues" Damn it! Next?
Something
good outside the USA, #HuffPostHop? Try this: "Dozens
Killed In Suicide Attack At Baghdad Cafe" WTF? (sigh) Don't give up,
Dave-El!
Bombs!
Shootings! Explosions! Ack! I can't do a #HuffPostHop this week! How does @TheOnion do it?I'm going to @CBR to make fun of their news
OK, no #HuffPostHop this week! Instead we do #TheCBRRoam. No bad stuff there!
"Boston Comic Con Postponed Due To Lockdown" Son of a bitch!
Back to
the #HuffPostHop! Please, give me something!
"Smell That Attracts Women Most" Boys think its tons of Axe body
spray! (Psst! It's not.)*
*OK, pretty lame, I know, but I gotta start somewhere.
#HuffPostHop
"7 Mistakes You're Making With Bacon" There's only two I can think
of: 1) not eating it 2) eating it with the wrong orifice.
#HuffPostHop
"Is He Cheating? Answer Depends On One Thing..." Does he say stuff to
the wife like, "I wish you were more like my girlfriend"?
#HuffPostHop
"Nicki Stuns 'Idol' Audience With Mariah Remark" Meanwhile Keith
Urban stuns no one by wishing he wasn't there.
#HuffPostHop
"10 Ways To Hold It Together When You Feel Like You Can't" Surprised
that NONE of these involved duct tape.
#HuffPostHop
"Kim Kardashian's Bump Plays Peekaboo" Unborn child embarrassed to
be seen with a Kardashian.
And
finally #HuffPostHop "In Wake Of Tragedy,
Anger, Fear And Tears Are Normal Response, Say Experts" Also farting,
right?
Well, that was a mess of a #HuffPostHop this week..but it's been a
mess of a week! Continue to pray for Boston, for justice & for healing.
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UPDATE: Just as I was publishing this blog, breaking news: The 2nd bombing suspect has been captured alive. So score one for the good guys! And good news for the rest of America: no more continuous manhunt coverage from CNN and FOX News.
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_____________________________________________
UPDATE: Just as I was publishing this blog, breaking news: The 2nd bombing suspect has been captured alive. So score one for the good guys! And good news for the rest of America: no more continuous manhunt coverage from CNN and FOX News.
_______________________________________________
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