Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Reawakening of....SEX! Tales of the STRANGE and the PERVERSE

Hi, internetians and webbites!
 
I'm Dave-El and this is I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, my own blog that is much better and much more entertaining than a compost heap according to everyone except two:

  • A dung beetle named Flzzzt. (Really, who includes a dung beetle in a survey group?)
  • Carl, a transient who's meds ran out several months ago and worships Flzzzt as his god.

On today's blog, we see the return of a feature not posted since March 23rd---

SEX!
TALES OF THE STRANGE & PERVERSE
 
Below are links to prior installments:

Now one of the reasons this feature has not made an appearance is simply because I didn't want to. It's not because I've got something against SEX! I like SEX! as much as the next guy or gal or primate or dolphin or mollusk. I certainly have no problem with spicing up SEX! with a taste of the strange, a hint of the perverse.
 
What I object to is having to use SEX! as a salacious marketing tool to drive more visitors to this enchanting internet grotto of taste and distinction. Dammit, I feel strongly about this! I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You should stand on the merits of my own talents, my own irreverent humor, my own topical observation, my own opinions and my own principles. I resolved I would never pander to use SEX!  to promote this website anymore! I don't have to!
 
Then I took time to re-read the damn thing.
 
...
 
Do you know what would be a good idea? Why don't we present another tale of.....
 
SEX!


TALES OF THE STRANGE & PERVERSE
 
Today's episode: "Three Cheese Love Pizza"

 
 
 
OK guys*, is this hot or IS THIS HOT? I mean, who hasn't had a sexual fantasy about a sexy woman dressed as cheese? CHEESE! And there are THREE OF THEM!! It couldn't get any "cheddar" than this! This is so "gouda".
 
*"Guys" defined as straight men (with or without a cheese fetish), lesbians, gay men who appreciate campy designs and straight women who like men but have kept secret about that time in college when they sampled some cheese.
 
My get up and go and has got up and come back! I'm hankering for THREE hunks of cheese!
 
Whoo!
 
Yeah, baby, baby, BABY!
 
OK, settle down everyone! I know this particular installment was one of the hottest yet but come now, let's behave with a little decorum. Maybe just...enjoy the presence of the sexy cheeses with some fresh fruit, wheat crackers and a glass of white wine.
 
Oh no. Once again I feel cheap, used. Once again, I'm caught between pleasure and principles. On one hand, we have three beautiful women dressed as cheese. On the other hand....
 
The other...hand...
 
Sorry, I forgot where I was going with that.
 
So, sex trolling internet surfers, I hope you enjoyed our latest installment of...
SEX!
TALES OF THE STRANGE & PERVERSE
 
But I hope that although you came for the SEX! (so to speak), I hope you'll stay for the wacky party fun time that is this most awesome of blogs, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.**
 
**The sex trolling internet surfing visitors to Dave-El's blog on April 24th who found this site while loking for websites on perverted sex acts immediately left after they had their fill of the sexy cheeses...and were never heard from again.
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Follow Dave-El, the man and the myth, on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo.
 
 
 

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