Sunday, March 10, 2013

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor#1

Hello!

While there may be some improvement in the economy (and Wall Street is certainly feeling gangbusters on the subject), there are still tough times out there. As such, I cannot provide the very somewhat humorous entertainment of this blog without commercial sponsorship. So today I post the first text commercial from our premier blog sponsor. I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is being brought to you by American Glory!  American Glory: providing a host of insurance possibilities for every inconceivable need.
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OLD GUY 1: I tell, ya, being old is a real hassle! I can’t hear….

OLD GUY 2: What?

OLD GUY 1: I said I can’t hear!

OLD GUY 2: You want a beer?

OLD GUY 1: No, I said I can’t HEAR!

OLD GUY 2: A beer would be nice!

OLD GUY 1: Turn on your hearing aid, you old coot! Yeah, getting old’s a real pain I can’t see…

OLD GUY 2: You can’t? Me, I can’t stop going. I’m up all night back and forth to the bathroom….

OLD GUY 1: SEE! I said SEE! I can’t SEE!

OLD GUY 2: Oh yeah! You know what?

OLD GUY 1: What?

OLD GUY 2: Getting old’s a real hassle.

OLD GUY 1: I tell ya, I hate being old.Joints hurt all the time!

OLD GUY 2: I hurt in places I didn’t know I had.

OLD GUY 1: And you know what’s the worse part about being old?

OLD GUY 1 and 2 (together): Whippersnappers!

OLD GUY 1: Oh, I do hate the whippershappers!

OLD GUY 2: What with their modern technology like them “eye pods”. What’s up with that?

OLD GUY 1: What’s wrong with a good old record player?

OLD GUY 2: And those little tiny phones they carry around, call ‘em “cell phones”.

OLD GUY 1: Some of ‘em are so small, you think they swallow ‘em while they’re yap-yap-yapping away all the time.

OLD GUY 2: Oh, they got ‘em now that fit right on their ears.

OLD GUY 1: Yeah, they call it a Blu-Tooth.

OLD GUY 2: Blue Tooth? In my day, you had a blue tooth, it was time to go to the dentist.

OLD GUY 1: Boy, you got that right! And what these whippersnappers with their hip pop culture references! Who can keep track of it all? I don’t know all these TV shows and movies they watch.

OLD GUY 2: And don’t get me started on the so-called music they listen to.

OLD GUY 1: What in the Sam Hill is a Lady Gaga?!?

OLD GUY 2: I got insurance for when I get sick, and insurance for when I die! Why don’t they have insurance against Whippersnappers?

OLD GUY 1:Well, dag nab it, they do! I got a policy thru American Glory insurance that protects me against Whippersnappers!

OLD GUY 2: Really? I'd like one of them myself. But I'm probably too ornery.

OLD GUY 1: Fiddlesticks! American Glory insures you against Whippersnappers with no evidence of prior orneriness.

ANNOUNCER [Entering]: That's right!Awerican Glory can help!

OLD GUY 2 (alarmed): Jumpin’ Jehosphat? Who in tarnation is that?

OLD GUY 1: I’ve seen him on the tee-vee. He does commercials for American Glory!

ANNOUNCER: Whippersnappers thrive in a world with constant advances in smaller and smaller technology and ever changing pop culture. Such a world can be a frightening place. But American Glory is there to protect you against the whippersnappers.

OLD GUY 2: What’s he doing here?

OLD GUY 1: Who’s he talking to?

ANNOUNCER: For as little as $5 a month, American Glory will be there to help you in a world filled with whippershappers!

OLD GUY 1: [Interrupting.] Get off my lawn!

OLD GUY 2: Bet he's a whippersnapper!

ANNOUNCER: Remember American Glory! Because whippersnappers are everywhere!

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Many thanks to our sponsor, American Glory. Thanks to their patronage, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You can continue delivering clever high quality material whatever shit I feel like posting. 

And don't forget I'm also on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo, brought to you by Summer's Eve...For MEN!

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