Saturday, March 2, 2013

Hey, Kids! Politics: Top 10 GOP Sequester Solutions

So back on Wednesday, February 28th, this started trending on Twitter: #GOPSequesterSolution

Hey, that sounded like FUN! So I joined in. And now....(drum roll!)

Top Ten GOP Sequester Solutions!

And we're off!

1.      Agree to higher taxes on the wealthy...but only on wealthy rap artists.

2.      Make it a TV show: #AmericanSequester Put it on FOX as celebrity judges hear appeals to not cut various agencies.

3.      3 Card Monte! "Key your eye on the cards! Lookin' for the Red Queen! Red Queen! Uh oh, 10 of clubs--bye bye Medicare!"

4.      Change the name from "sequester" to "Tyler Perry's Sequester". People will love it then!

5.      Annouce they gave up sequestration for Lent.

6.      Point to something & tell the Democrats, "Hey, what's that over there?" then run & hide.

7.      Eliminate the Dept. of the Interior because it doesn't make sense: how can it be "interior" when it's all outside?

8.      Agree on an appropriate compromise of reasonable cuts & modest revenue--Wait! How the fuck did THAT get in there?

9.      Pray really, really, REALLY hard!

10.   Crack their knuckles and say, "Well, we can't do anymore damage here" and go home.
I'll be damned if they didn't do that last one.
In case you are wondering, I am a registered Republican. The first President I ever voted for was Ronald Reagan. In many ways, my political and economic views would be described as conservative.  But....
(Uh oh, here comes a bit of rant!)
But like DC Comics in the age of the New 52 (that's another rant for another day), the GOP has been making it very hard to like what they're doing for the last several years and it seems the worst impulses of the worst elements of the worst fringes of the GOP have taken the lead in the party more and more.
It's kind of like what Reagan said when asked about leaving the Democratic Party: "I did not
leave the Democratic Party; the Democratic Party left me."  Out of a sense of stubborness that the worst the Republicans have to offer will not be the only voices heard in the party, I have not changed my affiliation. But it's hard sometimes and changing to "independent" grows more appealing every day. 
Enough pontificating!
Hey, speaking of pontiffs, I've got some Pope stuff coming up later on the blog. Or go visit me on Twitter @

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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