Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blogosphere's leading producer of maize, what you call 'corn'.
I am Dave-El, the perpetrator of this little patch of internet silliness. Today, I'm posting another one of those narrative tweets which I do from time to time in spite of the pleas of mercy from my Twitter followers.
The deal is to post a series of Tweets that ultimately tells something resembling a story. And usually, I have little or no idea where that story is going to go when I start.
Usually, the impetus for one of these exercises in creativity (or torture, I'm good either way) is a trending topic hash tag on Twitter. For the narrative being presented today, it all started back on May 20th when one of my followers posted this:
When Good Food Goes Bad
Mayo felt low, lower than he ever had before. He didn't want the other condiments to see him. He had gone bad.
I think I would've stopped there but then Karen added this:
I think of Mustard as the extrovert in the fridge. Ketchup would try to cheer Mayo up, but fail.
I pick up that thread:
Mustard talks to him. He never went bad but he's been overlooked since Grey Poupon moved in. He knew Mayo's pain.
Ketchup hung around. He used to be the life of the party. Then Salsa showed up and it was party over.
Karen decides to add a little "heat" to this narrative:
Tabasco and Salsa get in a fight over who's tougher. Newman's Own dressing tries to calm things down.
Mayo was bad.
And so ends our little condiment drama. But there is one more item in the fridge who is not happy about his part in
The Secret Shame being cut: