Hello! Welcome to my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, guest starring Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln.
Dave-El here on a Friday with a new edition of bROKEN nEWs!
A bit later than usual.
I was actually out. Yes, I know it seems so improbable (unlikely, even!) that I would be engaged in some kind of social activity on a Friday night. But my employer is sponsoring a music series and so I had (FREE!) tickets to see a violinist by the name of John McLaughlin Williams who put on a remarkable performance. I don't think I ever heard of any of the composers listed in the program but William's amazing gift with a violin makes me want to learn more about them. And I hope I get to hear more from John McLaughlin Williams. Maybe next time, I might even spend MY money on the tickets.
But I shall not disappoint you (except, of course, when I do) so we're ready to rock AND roll baby with some new...
bROKEN nEWs!
In 5...
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#BrokenNews “Ted Cruz Infuriates House GOP” He’s keeps coming over from the Senate taking Dr. Peppers out of the
House break room fridge! (Dammit, Ted! Not cool!)
#BrokenNews “Senate Republicans
Unimpressed By House GOP Plan To Defund Obamacare” A plan that does NOT involve mutated sharks with lasers strapped to their
frickin’ heads? Is that too much to ask?
I worry about humanity in our failure to equip sharks with lasers.
Really, why even bother to get up in the morning.
#BrokenNews “Iranian President Makes Vow On Nuclear
Weapons” To only use them for a very good
reason such as Israel looks at them funny, serious stuff like that.
#BrokenNews “Creationist Says 'Science Guy' Doesn't
Understand Science” Bill Nye breaks down
in tears: “It’s true! Science baffles me! I’ve been living a lie!”
#BrokenNews “Debt Limit Showdown Could Be Catastrophic
For Economy” Is it just me or is Washington’s
political strategy based on the Battleship game?
#BrokenNews “Dick Cheney To Take Part In Hunting
Competition” He’s a cinch for the Face Shooting
Contest!
#BrokenNews “McCain Tells Russians They Deserve Better
Than Putin” Adding, “Yo, girl! You lookin’
fine, Russia! Drop that loser & come hang wit' me!”
#BrokenNews “One Lucky Person In South Carolina Just
Won Nearly $400 Million” Wow! That’ll buy a lot
of mobile homes!
#BrokenNews “Honolulu Molasses Spill Keeps Getting
Worse” It is…a sticky situation! (What? That joke’s already
been done? How many times? THAT many?)
You know, this might be a good time to take a break for......bROkEN nEWs IN pICtUReS
OK, it's back to the headlines!
#BrokenNews “So Public Masturbation May Be Legal In
Sweden Now” Sweden got the idea after watching
American politics on C-Span.
#BrokenNews “Gwyneth Paltrow Talks Sex Addiction” People act weird when I try to talk about sex addiction. Maybe if I put
some pants on first…?
#BrokenNews “Has Liam Hemsworth Moved On From Miley
Already?” Well, the rest of have so why not?
#BrokenNews “Zac
Efron Was Reportedly In Rehab Earlier This Year” Where he would break out into
a song & dance routine before being tranquilized.
#BrokenNews “Buffett: Big showdown over debt ceiling would be
'pretty damn dumb'” Isn’t ‘pretty damn dumb’
requirement #1 for current GOP strategy?
#BrokenNews “Hillary 'Could Be Our First
Lesbian President'” Bill Clinton wants to know is it okay NOW to go back to
screwing whores.
#BrokenNews “Baboon Ambushes Woman, Steals Her Veggies”
Well, have you seen the prices for fresh vegetables lately? Baboons can’t
afford that!
 |
| "Have you seen the price on romaine lettuce? Have you SEEN it? And do NOT get me started on the price of bananas!" |
That's it for this Friday's edition of bROKEN nEWs!
Tomorrow is DOCTOR WHO SATURDAY and part 9 of THE NEMESIS WHO STOLE TIME!
So I should get writing that, huh?
Later, boys and girls!
And be good to one another!
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