I'm Dave-El and welcome to...
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You!
This installment is being brought to you by Ted Cruz Fertilizer! The best fertilizer you can buy!
And what is Ted's secret to great fertilizer?
And there's never been a better time to buy! The BIG Cruz-a-Thon sales event is going on RIGHT NOW!
We'll check in more with the Cruz-a-Thon later.
#BrokenNews “Dad accused of leaving child outside strip club” What? He should take the kid inside? Have you seen the kind of people in those places?
And now it's time for....
Before we get back headlines....
How are things going with the Cruz-a-Thon at Ted Cruz Fertilizer? Well, let's see!
And now....back to the headlines!
#BrokenNews “Peyton Manning Keeps Making History” It’ll come crashing down when we find out Peyton’s really a Terminator robot.
#BrokenNews “Hillary Clinton's 2 Huge Vulnerabilities Exposed” Her hook shot and her perimeter defense. (But her 3 pointers are solid so watch out!)
And that's this week's bROkEN nEWs!
Thanks to our sponsor, Ted Cruz Fertilizer,
the fertilizer superior to all other brands
thanks to PREMIUM BULLSHIT! And
speaking of which, let's take one last look at
the big Cruz-a-Thon sales event!
Way to go, Ted! Remember, the best fertilizer
comes from the best bullshit and no one has
PREMIUM BULLSHIT like...
Thanks for dropping by.
See you tomorrow for Doctor Who Saturday!
Be good to one another.
Takes us out, Baby Cthulhu!