Friday, September 6, 2013

Broken News for Friday, September 6th 2013




 
  
 
Hellooooooooooooooooooooo!!
 
It's Friday and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You as we present a knee-slappin', gut-bustin' edition of bROkEN nEWS, guaranteed!*
 
*Any actual slappin' of knees and/or bustin' of guts is not, in fact, guaranteed.
 
 
Dave-El here and thanks for dropping by. Before the (alleged) hilarity ensues, let me re-mind you that tonight, bROkEN nEWS, is brought to you by....
 
That Thing Over There
 
What is it? What does it do? Why is it there? How did it get there?
 
More than ever, you need...
 
That Thing Over There
 
 
 
And now bROkEN nEWS, begins in 5...
 
4...
 
3...
 
2....
 
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#BrokenNews “Obama Begins 3-Day Trip To Sweden He hopes to get his vintage ABBA poster signed by Bjorn Ulvaeus!




#BrokenNews “John McCain Plays Poker While Colleagues Discuss Syria ActionHe knew when to hold ‘em AND when to fold ‘em but not when to walk away.
#BrokenNews “Church Requests 'Only White People' They’re not racist, just too embarrassed to say “Only Rhythmically-Challenged People”
 
#BrokenNews Cleveland kidnapper Ariel Castro hangs himself in Ohio prison cell”   Ironically, it turns out HE had a problem with being held in a confined space for an extended period of time.
#BrokenNews “Obama Directs Pentagon To Expand List Of Targets”  I like shopping at Target but how many more stores do we need? And do we need to have the Pentagon deciding that? I think the military should stay of the private retail business...

What?

OK, never mind.

 
 


#BrokenNews “How Much Would A Syria Strike Cost?” Would you believe only $19.95 & if you order now, you can get a 2nd Syria Strike Absolutely FREE!
#BrokenNews “George Zimmerman's Wife Files For Divorce” George was devastated: “It felt like I’d been shot. Metaphorically, of course.”
 
#BrokenNews
I posted this headline last week but there it was at the Huffington Post again this week.
OK, OK, Arianna! I get it! I don’t understand your clitoris AT ALL!

(Maybe it's the accent.)
Hey, let's take a break for....
bROkEN nEWs in pICtUREs!

 
 
 
 
 
Now, back to the headlines....
 

#BrokenNewsBig chill: Obama, Putin greeting shows strainThey kissed but no tongue action.

#BrokenNews “Obama Opens Final Day Of G-20 Talks” With some jokes and a couple of show tunes.

#BrokenNews “Man Convicted Of Killing Atheist Who Mocked His Belief In God” In other news: Peter Pan kills Capt. Hook for laughing at his belief in fairies.

#BrokenNews “A Very Good Reason Not To Buy The New iPhoneOverpriced? Over-rated? Over hyped? Any of those will do. (Over the rainbow?)

#BrokenNews People, stop washing your chicken. Here's why

My chicken takes his own showers, thank you very much. 




Heads up!


More bROkEN nEWs in PICtUREs

Hey! Here are more headlines!


#BrokenNews “Jobseekers Forced To Dance To Daft Punk During World's Worst InterviewC’mon! You want a job? Then dance, my job seeking monkey! DANCE!
#BrokenNews “Chobani officially recalls moldy yogurt after complaintsAfter they worked so hard getting the flavor of the mold JUST right.
#BrokenNews “Kim Kardashian Reportedly Plans To Strip Down ... Again Isn’t it easier to report when Kim is NOT stripping down?



Seriously, when is Kim Kardashian going to stop doing these kinds of things and start to rely on her natural talents to…to… 

 
  On second thought, Kim, just go with what you know.
 
_______________________________________________________
 
 
This has been another edition of...
 bROkEN nEWs!
 
Brought to you by....
 
 
That Thing Over There
 
Get yours today while supplies last.
 
Because I think I just saw it move.
 
More than ever, you need...
 
That Thing Over There
 
_________________________________________________________

Coming up on the blog:

Doctor Who Saturday: The return of The Nemesis Who Stole Time (I hope)

And after that....Post # 200 of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You!


And don't forget: Dave-El can also be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo


Let's close out with one more picture of the Swedish pop superstar group ABBA


Why? Because I can!

Later!

Be good to one another.

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