Hellooooooooooooooooooooo!!
It's Friday and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You as we present a knee-slappin', gut-bustin' edition of bROkEN nEWS, guaranteed!*
*Any actual slappin' of knees and/or bustin' of guts is not, in fact, guaranteed.
Dave-El here and thanks for dropping by. Before the (alleged) hilarity ensues, let me re-mind you that tonight, bROkEN nEWS, is brought to you by....
That Thing Over There
What is it? What does it do? Why is it there? How did it get there?
More than ever, you need...
That Thing Over There
And now bROkEN nEWS, begins in 5...
4...
3...
2....
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#BrokenNews “Obama Begins 3-Day
Trip To Sweden” He hopes to get his vintage ABBA
poster signed by Bjorn Ulvaeus!
#BrokenNews “John McCain Plays
Poker While Colleagues Discuss Syria Action” He knew when to hold
‘em AND when to fold ‘em but not when to walk away.
#BrokenNews “Church
Requests 'Only White People'” They’re
not racist, just too embarrassed to say “Only Rhythmically-Challenged People”
#BrokenNews
“Cleveland kidnapper Ariel Castro hangs himself in Ohio
prison cell” Ironically,
it turns out HE had a problem with being held in a confined space for an
extended period of time.
#BrokenNews
“Obama Directs Pentagon To Expand List Of Targets” I like
shopping at Target but how many more stores do we need? And do we need to have the Pentagon deciding that? I think the military should stay of the private retail business...
What?
OK, never mind.
What?
OK, never mind.
#BrokenNews
“How
Much Would A Syria Strike Cost?” Would you believe only $19.95 & if you
order now, you can get a 2nd Syria Strike Absolutely FREE!
#BrokenNews
“George
Zimmerman's Wife Files For Divorce” George was devastated: “It felt
like I’d been shot. Metaphorically, of course.”
#BrokenNews
I
posted this headline last week but there it was at the Huffington Post again
this week.
OK, OK, Arianna! I get it! I don’t understand your clitoris AT ALL!
(Maybe it's the accent.)
(Maybe it's the accent.)
Now, back to the headlines....
#BrokenNews “Big chill: Obama, Putin greeting shows
strain”
They kissed but no tongue action.
#BrokenNews “Obama
Opens Final Day Of G-20 Talks” With some jokes and a couple of show tunes.
#BrokenNews “Man
Convicted Of Killing Atheist Who Mocked His Belief In God” In other news:
Peter Pan kills Capt. Hook for laughing at his belief in fairies.
#BrokenNews “A
Very Good Reason Not To Buy The New iPhone” Overpriced? Over-rated? Over
hyped? Any of those will do. (Over the rainbow?)
#BrokenNews
“People,
stop washing your chicken. Here's why”
My
chicken takes his own showers, thank you very much.
Heads up!
More bROkEN nEWs in PICtUREs
My
chicken takes his own showers, thank you very much. Heads up!
More bROkEN nEWs in PICtUREs
Hey! Here are more headlines!
#BrokenNews “Jobseekers Forced To Dance To Daft Punk During World's Worst Interview” C’mon! You want a job? Then dance, my job seeking monkey! DANCE!
#BrokenNews “Chobani
officially recalls moldy yogurt after complaints” After they worked
so hard getting the flavor of the mold JUST right.
#BrokenNews “Kim Kardashian
Reportedly Plans To Strip Down ... Again” Isn’t it easier to
report when Kim is NOT stripping down?
Seriously, when is Kim Kardashian going to stop doing these kinds of things and start to rely on her natural talents to…to…
On second thought, Kim, just go with what you know.
_______________________________________________________
This has been another edition of...
bROkEN nEWs!
Brought to you by....
That Thing Over There
Get yours today while supplies last.
Because I think I just saw it move.
More than ever, you need...
That Thing Over There
Coming up on the blog:
Doctor Who Saturday: The return of The Nemesis Who Stole Time (I hope)
And after that....Post # 200 of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You!
And don't forget: Dave-El can also be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo
Let's close out with one more picture of the Swedish pop superstar group ABBA
Why? Because I can!
Later!
Be good to one another.
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