I Don't Feel So Good

Hello & welcome to my little blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

 

I am Dave-El.

 

I don't feel so good.

 

No, I'm not sick. I'm not deathly ill. I'm not in great pain.

 

But I also have no energy, no motivation and I do have a low but insistent pain that sort of skitters around my body like hungry pain mice looking for cheese.

 

I'm in that limbo between healthy ("Let's do something, guys!! C'mon!!") and sick ("Oh, why won't this virus just KILL ME already?"). I'm just healthy enough to be expected to do stuff like fold laundry yet just sick enough to think that I don't care if I wear this pair of underwear for a 5th day. 

 

I don't feel so good isn't good for anything. I don't get to pleasure of accomplishing things, of creating things, of doing things and experiencing things like happy, completely well people do.

 

But I also do not get the simple joy of someone fluffing my pillow or bringing me soup or new comics to read.*

 

*No, I am NOT too old to read comics in bed when I'm sick. So THERE!

 

 

I'm not well and I'm not sick.

 

 

I just don't feel so good.

 

 

And when you just don't feel good, you are so SCREWED! You don't get out of nothing.**

 

**Except perhaps screwing.

 

 

I'm still the cook, still the driver, still the worker drone. I don't feel so good? Screw that! Keep doing things until things are done, I feel better or I drop dead.

 

But it's late and quite frankly, if something hasn't been done yet, maybe it just doesn't really need to be done. Or wants to be done.

 

So I'm off to put on my favorite old pajama pants and T-shirt, find something medicine-like (preferably with the letters "PM" after the name) and climb into bed.

 

I hope you don't mind.

 

I don't feel so good.