Monday, September 9, 2013

The Amazing 200!

Hello, everyone! And welcome to the...

I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You
200th Blog Post Special!!

*200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post*
 

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*200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post**200th Post*

Now here's your host...DAVE-EL!!!

_____________________________

 
Hi there! I am Dave-El and welcome to a very special installment of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog most likely to be vetoed by Russia in the UN Security Council.

On March 2nd, 2013, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You debuted with it's first blog post.

Then on May 25th, 2013, this blog celebrated it's 100th post (as you can see here).

Today we are up to blog post # 200.

Wow! How is it possible that I've posted 200 posts to this blog over the last six months? What is the secret of keeping this blog going?

I have no social life?

...

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

To commemorate this amazing achievement, I am going to post TWO HUNDRED THINGS ABOUT ME! (Yes, I will be cheating and quite often too. 200 things about me? God knows I'm not THAT interesting.)

So here we go!



200 Facts and Fallacies About Dave-El

I’m 6 ft 1 in tall

I’m 6 ft 1 ½ in tall when it’s a full moon

I was born in North Carolina

At least according to the bio prepared for me by my FBI handlers

I am an only child except when the plot says otherwise.

If my life were it a TV show, it would be…quickly cancelled.

I have no social skills.


I have no carpentry skills.

I have no computer skills.

I have no mechanical skills.

I have no hunting skills.

I have no survival skills.

I do have the power to describe the plots of movies I’ve never seen.

When the apocalypse comes, I’ll be among the first to die.

Which is just as well as I imagine there will be nothing good on TV anyway.

Sometimes my best reason for living is to make it to the next new episodes of Doctor Who

I am a Doctor Who fan

My favorite Doctor is still Tom Baker as the 4th Doctor


I really do like Matt Smith as the 11th Doctor

My favorite classic series companion was Romana II (Lala Ward)

Although I have spot in my heart for Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen)

My favorite modern series companion was Donna Noble (Catherine Tate)

Sexiest companion? Hands down: Amy Pond (Karen Gillam)


OK, I’m a leg man.

But breasts are nice too!

I’m also a Star Trek fan.

I am not, however, a Trekker.

I do not own any Star Trek memorabilia.

My favorite Star Trek series: Deep Space Nine

My least favorite Star Trek series: Voyager

I might have said Enterprise if I had actually watched more of it but what I saw was OK.

My first memory of a Star Trek episode: The Corbomite Manuever.


 
That floating alien head thing really creeped me out.

My favorite episode of the original series: The Trouble With Tribbles.

It may be politically incorrect to say so but I really liked the women’s uniforms on classic Trek.

Reminder: I am a leg man.

I liked Next Generation but the first seaon really made that hard to do.

The Borg episode of season two showed what the show really could do.

The 3rd season of Next Gen was a revelation.

At the time it first aired, I was unaware that Best of Both Worlds was a season ending cliffhanger.

Until the last minute: Riker: “Fire!” Me: “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Favorite classic Trek movie: The Undiscovered Country

Favorite Next Gen movie: First Contact

Star Trek Nemesis is the WORST thing that has ever happened to Star Trek!

Yes, I’ve seen “Spock’s Brain”.  And I still stand by my previous statement.

Deep Space Nine was dark and complex, the antithesis of classic Trek. Yet I loved this series.

I wanted to see Avery Brooks play Green Lantern John Stewart in a Green Lantern movie.

Trials and Tribulations was off the DS9 norm but an excellent episode.









Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) in a classic Trek female’s uniform? Meow!

Reminder: I am a leg man.

Voyager sucked!

Janeway should’ve been court-martialed or shoved out of an air lock for all those bad decisions.

And for the hair bun!

I actually liked Kate Mulgrew’s portrayal of Janeway. The scripts just kept having Janeway do stupid stuff.


Seven of Nine was the absolutely ONLY reason to watch Voyager.





 
Clarification: I may be a leg man but Jeri Ryan in a body suit is the whole sweet package! Yowza!

I sometimes worry that I’m a perv.

And other times I just accept that I am.

OK, I like women.

I like it when women have an appealing sense of fashion.

I also respect women: most women I know can kick my butt.

To be honest, not many people can’t kick my butt.

I like comic books.

Mostly DC over Marvel.

But I’m reconsidering my loyalty to DC.

I need to free up some pull list space in my budget.

I really need to be reading Saga, don’t  I?



My favorite super hero when I was a kid? Superman.




 

I don’t read Superman anymore.

My favorite super hero now: Batman.

My favorite super heroine when I was a kid: Mary Marvel.

 
My favorite super heroine when my hormones really kicked in: Black Canary

My favorite super heroine now: Batgirl (as long as Gail Simone keeps writing her)


My secretly really favorite super heroine: Black Canary (when my hormones kicked in)

My least favorite super hero when I was a kid: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)

My least favorite super hero now: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)

My first Marvel super hero series: X-Men (Claremont, Byrne & Austin, no less!)

My best friend and my first serious girlfriend in college were both Marvel readers.

I did not hold that against them.

My problem with Marvel today? Too damn many comics for $3.99.

I can be quite the cheap bastard.

All time favorite comic book that makes me look smart: Watchmen

All time favorite comic book that I thought was just too cool: Legion of Super Heroes, Great Darkness Saga

Complete run of a comic book series I own and I’m most proud of: Sandman

Complete run of a comic book series I own and I’m most embarrassed about: Karate Kid

Worst comic book movie I ever saw: Batman & Robin

I would’ve said Superman: War For Peace but I didn’t pay money to see that.

Best comic book movie: Avengers (Sorry, DC)

Chris Nolan’s Batman trilogy rocked but they weren’t comic books movies.

Avengers was like a comic book actually brought to life.

I spent the extra $ to see Avengers in 3-D? Why? 2 words: Scarlett. Johansen.

I saw the 1989 Batman movie in the theater THREE TIMES!


With 3 different women as dates!

Oh, yeah! I was a playa!

Oh, and the movie sucked. But it looked so cool!

And it had Kim Basinger in it.

 

Remember? Leg man? OK, let’s move on.



The first Oscar winning movie I ever saw in a theater: Amadeus.

I still love that movie!

Mozart is my favorite composer of classical music.

Vivaldi is second.

The worst movie I ever saw in a theater but enjoyed it anyway, dammit: Spaced Invaders

“’Prepare to die, earth scum’? You’re going to get us all killed!” I love that line!

The worst movie I ever saw in a theater and I did not enjoy it AT ALL: Great Balls of Fire

I saw Field of Dreams in a theater 1 and ½ times.

The first time, a storm knocked out power to the movie theater we were in. Management said for everyone to present tickets for a return visit. So my girlfriend and I went back later to watch it again.

I saw Titanic…on Super Bowl Sunday! (For real!)

My all time favorite animated movie (Pixar): The Incredibles


My all time favorite animated movie (not Pixar): The Emperor’s New Groove

No, really! Go watch it! Too damn funny!

My all time favorite movie ever (and I’m NOT trying to be pretentious): Citizen Kane

My all time favorite Western movie: Rio Bravo with John Wayne, Dean Martin, Walter Brennan, Ricky Nelson and Angie Dickinson.


You gotta love a Western that has John Wayne discussing women’s tights.

By the way, Dean Martin can act the hell out of a scene!

If this movie comes on TV, I have to stop doing whatever I’m doing and watch it.

A close 2nd for favorite Western movie: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

My favorite movie with Jimmy Stewart (not a Western): Harvey

Although I really like Philadelphia Story a lot too.

My favorite Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant pairing was Bringing Up Baby


Likewise, if this comes on, drop everything. I gotta watch it.

Hepburn was also magnificent in The African Queen. So was Humphrey Bogart.

But Bogie always looked weird in color. Bogart was made for black and white.

Casablanca is tops but I also love The Maltese Falcon and Key Largo.

The original King Kong scared me the first time I saw it on TV.

Well, I was only six. To be honest, though, it still scares me. Kind of.



When I saw Out of Africa, I wondered why my girlfriend was crying.

I can be such a heartless bastard.

OK, I’ll admit it: Steel Magnolias got to me. There! You happy?

All right, I’m messing with you: I’m emotionally dead inside.

I may, in fact, be a sociopath.

I do have voices in my head telling me to kill you all.

Mostly they speak in comical Swedish accents so I’m pretty sure I won’t take them seriously. So you’re probably safe.

Unless you’re Swedish.



Speaking of Sweden, I am one of seven straight men in America who likes ABBA.

This just in: I am one of six straight men in American who likes ABBA.

My favorite ABBA song: Take a Chance on Me.

My favorite of the two ABBA women? The sad one. No, not her. The other one.

I wish I was a Benny but I’m really a Bjorn.

My long time favoritest rock ‘n’ roll group: U2.

I recognize Joshua Tree as a major artistic achievement but my personal favorite U2 album is Achtung Baby.
 



As much as I am a fan of group, I sometimes get Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen mixed up.

I also mix up the two guys in the Police who are not Sting.

My favorite female musical performer or group when I’m sad: Sarah McLachlan

My favorite female musical performer or group with I’m not sad: The Breeders

I do kinda sorta maybe like Katy Perry.


It’s been awhile since I mentioned I was a leg man, right?

“I’m a leg man” also answers the question, “What’s my favorite part of a chicken?”

Favorite game show (hard): Jeopardy (even if I do want to slap Alex Trebek upside the head. But who doesn’t?)

Favorite game show (not so hard): Wheel of Fortune

Favorite game show (for feeling superior to stupid people): Family Feud

Favorite sit com: Arrested Development

Runners up: Andy Griffith Show, Cheers, Frasier, Friends, MASH, Dick Van Dyke Show, The Office, 30 Rock

Favorite sit com I watched for all the wrong reasons: The Nanny






TV Show Women Showdown: Mary Ann vs. Ginger? Mary Ann

TV Show Women Showdown: Janet vs. Chrissy? Janet

TV Show Women Showdown: Bailey vs. Jennifer? Bailey

TV Show Women Showdown: Diane vs. Rebecca? Rebecca

 

TV Show Women Showdown: Daisy Duke in shorts vs. Daisy Duke in jeans? You’re kidding me, right?




Favorite TV Detective: Lt. Columbo (“Just one more thing, sir.”) 

Favorite TV Police Officers: Peter Malloy and Jim Reed (Adam – 12)

Favorite TV Cop Show: Law & Order (The original, baby!)

Favorite Law & Order Assistant  DA: Angie Harmon

Least Favorite: Uh, the one who…hmm, you know…she was…that person who…

Favorite Law & Order Detective NOT played by Jerry Orbach:  Jesse L Martin

Least Favorite: Benjamin Bratt

TV Crime Show That Really Creeps Me Out: Criminal Minds

Favorite Reality Show: I find reality TV intolerable.

OK, I like Mythbusters. They blow shit up!

All right, Too Cute on Animal Planet.





(It’s tooooooo cuuuuuuuute!)

Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse? Bugs Bunny, of course!

Daffy Duck or Donald Duck? The Daffynator rules!

Fairly Oddparents or Spongebob Squarepants? Is there a 3rd choice: poking my eyes out?

OK, Fairly Oddparents then!

No, wait! Spongebob!

C’mon, poking my eyes out?

Invader Zim!

Anything on Cartoon Network? Other than Robot Chicken, no.

Which is a shame because I used to watch them a lot.

Favorite show on CN: Dexter’s Laboratory (“Omelet du Fromage!”)

I used to love “Cartoons That Never Made It” (Like “Rupert, the Dancing Grouper”)

You know what animated TV show I miss? Animaniacs

iCarly or vicTORIous? Why, vicTORIous, naturally.

Er, I mean, that’s what I’ve heard, uh, some young people say—

DON’T JUDGE ME!

Favorite talk show host: Jimmy Fallon

Favorite awards show host: Neil Patrick Harris (He should host EVERYTHING!)

Favorite Deschanel Sister: Zooey

Runner Up Favorite Deschanel Sisiter: Emily

Zooey Deschanel is on my “allowed to have sex with & it’s OK with the wife” list.





 

Also on the list: Tina Fey
 
 
Also, my wife doesn’t need to know about the list but I’m sure she would be OK with it.

Just to be on the safe side, I’ve added Robert Downey Jr to the sex list. I’m sure she can’t object to any dalliance I might have with her favorite actor.

 Better idea: Add Robert Downey Jr to HER sex list.

Which is good because I don’t bat for the other team.

I could be gay if I were a woman.

Yes, it easier to imagine that I am a woman than it is to imagine sex with a dude.

Not homophobic, it’s just not how I roll.

Favorite ice cream: Mint chocolate chip

Favorite candy bar: Snickers

Favorite soda: Mountain Dew

Whew!

OK, that's it for this, the 200th blog post for I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

Thanks for popping by in your quest for high quality, insightful and witty commentary and observations.

And one day, I just might be able to deliver some high quality, insightful and witty commentary and observations.

Nah, probably not.

Be good to one another.

Later!

Dave-El



 




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