Monday, December 9, 2013

Not Everyone Gets To Be In The Village People!

    Hi there!

    I'm Dave-El and you...are whoever you are.

    This is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.


    And today, we have a totally out-of-left-field post.


    About the Village People.


    Really.



Have you ever dreamed of being a member of the Village People?

Neither have I.

But this was trending on Twitter a few weeks ago:

So on the off chance you do have some latent desire to become one of the Village People, know that it is a very, very exclusive group. Below is my list of .

Enjoy, I guess?
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Science Lab Assistant
          His use of "flaming beakers" while performing was considered both dangerous and inappropriate.


Tax Accountant
          He almost made the cut but he was not available January through April and the Village People needed him all year.


ZZ Top Impersonator
          Don't worry about this guy. He was later hired by the real ZZ Top to replace one of the bearded guys who was abducted by aliens. And NO, I'm NOT telling you which one.


Richard Nixon Impressionist
          He wanted to change "In the Navy" to "I Need a Pardon". Dealbreaker.          

Actual Richard Nixon
           Did not make the cut but he was surprisingly nimble on his feet.

Actual David Lee Roth 
          The Village People thought he was a bit too over the top for them.

Creepy Serial Killer
          Uh, no.

Not So Creepy But Actually Quite Nice If You Get To Know Him Serial Killer
          Eh, sorry, still a "no" on that one. 

Just some guy, you know?
          Turns out he had just wandered in by accident from a Starbucks next door. So he really wasn't there to audition which is good. He kind of creeped out the band with his excessive "normalcy".

Malcontent mail carrier
          Too many to choose from.

Political Pundit
          Karl Rove's dreams were crushed! Simply crushed! He was so sure he made the cut!

Invisible Man
          Well, they THINK they rejected him. Heh! Heh! Heh!

2nd Construction Worker
          Because TWO constructions workers in the same group? Now, THAT's just silly!

American Indian
          "What? Rejected? But I'm already in the band! Not cool, guys! Not. Cool."

Old Man Jenkins
          "It's fun to stay at the Y...Y...why are all you people in my house?"

Ludwig Von Beethoven
          "You're not in the group, Ludwig." "WHAT?" "YOU'RE NOT IN THE GROUP!" "No soup, I'm not hungry."

Police Officer
          Yet, for reasons unknown, he shows up anyway & no one dares to confront him.
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So that's my list of . As you can see, they have very exacting standards. It is a very exclusive group.
 
 
But who am I to tell you that you can't be one of the Village People? It's important to hold on to your dreams.
 
As a matter of fact....
 
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Next time on the blog---
Sentence Enhancers II: The Enhancering
 


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