- Hi there!
- I'm Dave-El and you...are whoever you are.
This is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.
And today, we have a totally out-of-left-field post.
About the Village People.
Have you ever dreamed of being a member of the Village People?
Neither have I.
But this was trending on Twitter a few weeks ago:
So on the off chance you do have some latent desire to become one of the Village People, know that it is a very, very exclusive group. Below is my list of
Enjoy, I guess?
Science Lab Assistant
His use of "flaming beakers" while performing was considered both dangerous and inappropriate.
He almost made the cut but he was not available January through April and the Village People needed him all year.
ZZ Top Impersonator
Don't worry about this guy. He was later hired by the real ZZ Top to replace one of the bearded guys who was abducted by aliens. And NO, I'm NOT telling you which one.
Richard Nixon Impressionist
He wanted to change "In the Navy" to "I Need a Pardon". Dealbreaker.
Actual Richard Nixon
Did not make the cut but he was surprisingly nimble on his feet.
Actual David Lee Roth
The Village People thought he was a bit too over the top for them.
Creepy Serial Killer
Not So Creepy But Actually Quite Nice If You Get To Know Him Serial Killer
Eh, sorry, still a "no" on that one.
Just some guy, you know?
Turns out he had just wandered in by accident from a Starbucks next door. So he really wasn't there to audition which is good. He kind of creeped out the band with his excessive "normalcy".
Malcontent mail carrier
Too many to choose from.
Karl Rove's dreams were crushed! Simply crushed! He was so sure he made the cut!
Well, they THINK they rejected him. Heh! Heh! Heh!
2nd Construction Worker
Because TWO constructions workers in the same group? Now, THAT's just silly!
"What? Rejected? But I'm already in the band! Not cool, guys! Not. Cool."
Old Man Jenkins
"It's fun to stay at the Y...Y...why are all you people in my house?"
Ludwig Von Beethoven
"You're not in the group, Ludwig." "WHAT?" "YOU'RE NOT IN THE GROUP!" "No soup, I'm not hungry."
Yet, for reasons unknown, he shows up anyway & no one dares to confront him.
Sentence Enhancers II: The Enhancering