RANDOM TWEETING!!

Hi there!




 

Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that puts the "and" in "random".

As we sputter to the close of an interminably long post Thanksgiving weekend (I miss being at work!), let me indulge in some leftover stuff by looking at a selection of random Tweets from my Twitter account which can be found here.

And away we go!

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In response to this...

Julieanne Smolinski ‏@BoobsRadley 24 Nov
Watching PBS in a t-shirt sweater front of a fire, in case your small town is in need of a crabby, sexless, disenfranchised piano teacher.

I had this to say...

Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 24 Nov

@BoobsRadley You had me at "crabby". (whispering, choking back the tears) You had me...at "crabby".

I don't know why but I just can't resist a chance to paraphrase Renee Zellweger from Jerry Maguire.

 

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Karen Miller ‏@maya_dancer 21h

#NewSwissArmyKnifeTools fondue pot

 

Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 21h

@maya_dancer Fondue pot? Hey, is that the new chocolate or cheese covered weed I've heard about...I mean, just made up?

Maybe it's because the concept of legalizing marijuana has been in the news so much lately but I do seem to have a propensity for bringing everything around to a weed joke. Seriously, I've never touched the stuff. Yep, this disjointed thinking process of mine is all natural, baby!

 

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Linda Holmes ‏@nprmonkeysee 24 Nov

I hope someone else is watching this Lifetime movie where Nicole Eggert learns the true meaning of Christmas after crawling into her dryer

 

Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 24 Nov

@nprmonkeysee @lurkeriatipsos In the sequel, Nicole Eggert learns the true meaning of Hannukah after crawling into her dishwasher.

This could be a whole series of movies. Each time, Nicole Eggert crawls inside another household appliance to discover the true meaning of something. The series ends tragically when Nicole climbs into a paper shredder to learn the true meaning of Arbor Day.

 

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Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 12 Nov OK, my lifelong imaginary friend has NOT being trying to kill me; it was all just a big misunderstanding if I know what's good for me.

I appear to be caught in a passive-aggressive relationship with someone who doesn't exist. Yeah, weird.

 Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 12 Nov

Sometimes I wished I had listened to what my mom said when I was kid. It had something to do with not listening, I think.

Yep, that's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference. Hey, when I steal material, I steal from the best. 
 

  

Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 12 Nov

On a cold, wet night, I'm sitting back with a cup of hot apple cider in front of a roaring fire. Times like this I wish I had a fireplace.

 

Dave of the Doctor ‏@DayWayLo 17 Nov

OMG! OMG! OMG! I have 100 followers! And it took me ONLY two years! Wow! This is so exciting! (pause) I don't need to feed all of you, do I?


I figure in another 2 years, I might be up to 125! I am such a butterfly of the social networking scene.

 

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 The Colbert Report ‏@ColbertReport 17 Nov

Vice President Cheney was a hard guy to say no to because he shot people in the face.
 

 Dave of the Doctor‏@DayWayLo 17 Nov

@ColbertReport "Really? You say 'no?" Cheney chuckled grimly as he stroked his white Persian cat. "Men, secure him to...THE FACE SHOOTER!"

Basing jokes on Dick Cheney in the persona of a James Bond villain who shoots people in the face will never get old. 

 

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 Dave-El ‏@DayWayLo 17 Nov

@TeaPartyCat Health care problems can be resolved with a simple 2 part process: 1) become rich 2) buy insurance. Why is that so hard?

 
I think this is just the sort of platform that could get me back in good with the Republican Party.  Toss in a couple of cracks about Obama being an alien mutant robot Muslin Socialist and I could be a viable Tea Party candidate for Congress. 

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Dave-El ‏@DayWayLo 7 Nov

 

"Waitress, are these Belgian Waffles made from real Belgians?" Is it too much to ask for authentic, all natural ingredients in my waffles?

I actually asked a waitress this, just being the sort of clever smart ass person I am. Not getting the joke, she said she would have to speak to the manager. Sadly, the manager wasn't sure either.  I decided against asking if the Western Omelet contained any decadent commercialized values.
 

 

Dave-El ‏@DayWayLo 7 Nov

 

@TeaPartyCat This just in: Donald Trump has information Obama was born in Benghazi. Half the Tea Party wets itself with joy.

If you really thought that was an actual item in the news, I do not blame you for being gullible. That sort of thing just does not seem all that out of character for Donald Trump and the sentient alien life form hair piece that controls his thoughts and actions. 

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OK, that's it for today's post. What's coming up for the future?

 

• A new installment of New Girl by Jack Kirby
• The Internet Is For Corn
• The return of ALL NEW Broken News
• Doctor Who Saturday
• The Village People! (Really? Really.)
• The Worst Fast Food Drive Thru EVER!
• The Stupidest Reason To Go On Living

And....

• We are WAY overdue for a commercial. Who will be the next sponsor for I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. And will this blog face any legal implications as a result?

Until next time, be good to one another.

 

Look real close, tell me if YOU see any Belgians!