Wednesday, December 4, 2013

THE INTERNET IS FOR CORN#8 (Is this...the end?)

 
 Hi, I'm Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, now with extra conditioner for that silky smooth shine.
 
We have travelled 'round the calendar once more to arrive back on Thursday and back on that weekly...thing...that I do.
 
You know it, you love it, you can't live without it.
 
THE INTERNET IS FOR-
 
...
 
I'm sorry but I'm not sure I can do this anymore. OK, it may (MAY!) have been funny the first time, doing a riff off the Avenue Q musical number, The Internet Is For Porn, but instead I've made this a regular feature.
 
And what exactly is this feature? I post a picture of some corn then post song lyrics underneath the corn that I think sort of/kind of relates to the way the corn looks.
 
Really. That's it.
 
This has got to be the LAMEST INTERNET THING EVER!
 
Well, I have my pride.
 
OK, I had my pride.
 
...
 
I never had any pride.
 
But enough is enough! I'm going to let today's act do their thing and that's it! After today, THE INTERNET IS FOR CORN will be NO MORE!
 
 
 
Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
Every move you make, every step you take
I'll be watching you
I'll be watching you
(Every breath you take, every move you make)
(Every bond you break, every step you take)
I'll be watching you
(Every single day, every word you say)
(Every game you play, every night you stay)

 
Um, that's kind of creepy.
 
Is the corn...stalking me?
 
...
 
Ooh, I just got that! Corn! Stalking! Ha.
 
Ahem. I should move on.
 
So I'm not sure if it's SAFE for me to stop THE INTERNET IS FOR CORN!
 
I've heard of people being condemned to the cornfield but I might a have cornfield coming for me.
 
Maybe I better give this some more thought before I shuck this feature.
 
Wow! Another corn pun.
 
Please make it stop.
 
_________________________________
 
Come back tomorrow for a BRAND NEW EDITION of the internet's leading source of topical humor*, bROkEN nEWs!
 
*Based on a poll I took of my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I respect their opinion.
 
Until then, be good to one another 

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