Friday, January 31, 2014

Broken News for Friday, January 31st 2014


 
Hi, I'm Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and you might indeed amused by today's suffering if you're more tech savvy than I. (And whoever you are, yeah, you probably are.)

 
Before I get to this week's #BrokenNews, I need to address a bit blog-keeping business.

 
About 3 weeks ago, I began having trouble loading graphics to my blog. I was going through Internet Explorer and one online resource suggested using Google Chrome instead.

 
So I did and the results were amazing. I had more control over placement and sizing of the images I posted here. So, yay Google Chrome.

 
That was then. Now I'm more of a mood to say "Fuck you, Google Chrome". Now there may be a problem with my computer but I've checked all my systems and security. My computer could use a little more free memory space but over all everything still functions well enough. I can watch videos, for example. And virus protections are still in place with recent scans and no anomalies detected.

 
But I can't do any of this through Google Chrome. It just sits there before popping up with a message that I can't get where I'm going from here.



Meanwhile Internet Explorer is working just fine. Except I still cannot load a picture to my blog.



 
Until this gets resolved, I guess I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is an all-text blog. Which means:

 
  • NO Broken News in Pictures
  • NO Broken News That Counts with the Count
  • NO Broken News Complaint Dept

 
It also means:
No more Adventures of Knock-Knock the Interrupting Cow. (And I've got at least a half dozen more in the chute, ready to be posted.)

 
It's that last one that really hurts.

 
Thanks for letting me ramble a bit. I have found this whole thing very disheartening.

 
BUT the show MUST go on. So let's do some #BrokenNews in 5...

 
4...

 
3...

 
2...
___________________________________
 
 
BrokenNewsEmails Reveal Christie Allies Pressured Hoboken Mayor” By sitting on him.
 
 
#BrokenNewsGiuliani: 'Fifty-Fifty' Chance Christie Knew About Bridge Scandal” Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, who knows? Watchya gonna do ‘bout it?
 
 
#BrokenNewsFacebook Toys With Radical New Idea” To not suck!
 
  
#BrokenNews "'Zombie' Bees Discovered For First Time In Eastern U.S." Oh, this is a lovely little item to add to my list of SHIT THAT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING!!

 

 
#BrokenNews "Fox News's Insane Debate On Women" Ultimately the debaters agreed to defer the question if women actually exist until all the science is in.

 

 
#BrokenNews "Hospitals Facing Worrisome Shortage" They're running low on irrascible, ascerbic doctors who are very talented but don't play by the rules.
 
 
Let's take a moment for a #BrokenNews special as we ponder this week's State of the Union address given by President Barack Obama this past Tuesday.
 
If you thought it could've been shorter, the denizens of Twitter did try to help by suggesting State of the Union speeches that could be done in only 3 words (under #SOTUinthreewords). 

 
Here are 10 of my suggestions:
_________________________
  1. No again? Really?
  2. Trust me, okay?
  3. Bend over, cough
  4. Get no satisfaction
  5. Got any ideas?
  6. Long live rock!
  7. Are you experienced?
  8. Feel the love
  9. Kiss my ass
  10. It's all good
OK, back to the headlines!
 
#BrokenNews "65 Year-Old Model Shares The Secret To Aging" You don't really need a virgin's blood for the dark rituals to sustain immortality; any human blood will do.

 
#BrokenNews "College Athletes Make Landmark Move" Actually going to class.

 
#BrokenNews "Pope Francis Rocks Rolling Stone Cover" His new album with Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor is expected to go to #1 in sales this week.

 
#BrokenNews "House Passes Sweeping Anti-Abortion Bill" In addition to curtailing a woman's access to abortion, it also mandates that women must sweep floors at least 20 hours a week.

 
#BrokenNews "Meat Loaf admits, 'I'm a giant ham'" He means that literally.

 
#BrokenNews "How Queen Elizabeth spent most of her money" On Doctor Who merchandise.
______________________________
And on that note let's bring this week's edition of #BrokenNews to a close.

 
And speaking of Doctor Who, tomorrow is Doctor Who Saturday which DOES have pictures. (The post was completed before Tuesday's Google Chrome meltdown.)

 
I hope every one has a kick-ass weekend and for the Super Bowl, I'm pulling for the Broncs, baby! Peyton Manning as GOT to deliver on behalf of old people everywhere.

 
OK, I'm outta here! Remember to be good to one another.

 
Insert graphic here ----------------->

 
This is so sad.
 

 

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