Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Super Spy Dave vs. Real Life Dave

Hi there! I'm Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that is shaken AND stirred.

Today we present a series of Tweets from my Twitter account wherein I spun two competing narratives. Somewhere in another dimension is a version of me that's a dashing and talented super spy going on dangerous missions and having sex with various beautiful women.

In another dimension is a version of me that's got to do some house cleaning.

Guess which dimension is blog is being written.



in a high speed chase with a rival spy 
has to mop the kitchen again

 runs after the rival spy into a posh hotel 
 wonders where the damn SwifferJet is

 in kung fu battle with rival spy 
 pissed off: every time he has to mop the floor, the SwifferJet is missing

 removes spy's hat: It's a WOMAN! 
 finds the SwifferJet in the fridge! (What the hell?)

 kisses the spy passionately 
 gets a fresh bottle of cleaner for the SwifferJet

 makes love to the spy in a lavish hotel room 
 mops the kitchen floor

 continues to make love to the spy in a lavish hotel room 
 is still mopping the damn kitchen floor

 leaves the sleeping spy sexually satisfied 
 told by wife he missed a spot

 steals away with the super secret microchip 
 finally finishes mopping the kitchen floor

 lounges by a pool with a bevy of bikini models & a drink in his hand 
 now has to mop the bathroom. 

 Until next time, be good to one another. And may you continue to have exciting adventures and/or clean floors. 

Carl Kasell

I was saddened to hear of the death of Carl Kasell, a distinctive voice on NPR’s "Morning Edition" and "Wait, Wait ... Don...