Monday, January 13, 2014

Life In the Fast Food Lane---Part 2

Hello there! I'm Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog with tasty complex carbohydrates.

In last weeks post (Life In the Fast Food Lane---Part 1), I went on a bit about the various annoyances associated with ordering fast food through the drive thru.  I ended that post with this: 

"One particularly annoying pet peeve I have with the fast food drive thru window experience is the bad habit of some people jumping ahead of my thought process."

You know, where that voice coming through the drive thru speaker keeps jumping ahead, totaling up the order before you're through or assuming you want certain things before asking. Yeah, person on the other side of that speaker, it's boring, I know, most people ordering the same thing over and over and over again. And you've probably got some kind of corporate mandated time scale to get the customer moved on down the line and out with their bag of re-hydrated synthetic food like substance.

But trust me, nothing can slow down the process like trying to speed it up faster than everyone is prepared to go.

And what exactly I mean by that can best be expressed in the form of a little one act drama I call....

OK, I don't have a title. I just call it my own little personal corner of hell. The following is a bit of an exaggeration.

But only a bit.



Drive thru speaker: Welcome to Burger Beast, would you like to try our new Fondue Frosty?

Me: I would like to order a Whacky Burger combo please.  

Drive thru speaker:That’ll be 5.99.

Me: I haven’t said what I want on the burger. 

Drive thru speaker: What size fries do you want?

Me: I don’t want fries. 

Drive thru speaker: So you just want the burger and not the combo.

Me: No I want the combo. 

Drive thru speaker: So you do want fries? What size?

Me: No, I want to get the side salad. 

Drive thru speaker: So that’s a combo and a salad.

Me: No, I want the combo with a side salad instead of fries! 

Drive thru speaker: Thank you! Drive around.

Me: Wait, I never told you what I want on the burger. 

Drive thru speaker: The Wacky Burger has a wide variety of fresh toppings.

Me: Yes, great. But I don’t want any onions or pickles on the burger. 

Drive thru speaker:The Wacky Burger doesn’t come with pickles, sir.

Me: Good. Just no onions then. 

Drive thru speaker: Do you want us to add pickles? We can do that.

Me: No, I don’t want pickles. 

Drive thru speaker: But the Wacky Burger doesn’t come with pickles.

Me: So don’t add any pickles!

Drive thru speaker: Thank you! Drive around.

Me: I haven’t given you my drink order. 

Drive thru speaker: A drink comes with the combo, sir.

Me: Yes, I know the combo comes with a drink! 

Drive thru speaker: So you want to order a separate drink?

Me: No, I need to tell you what kind of drink I want to drink for the drink that comes with the meal! 

Drive thru speaker:  What...?

Me:  I want an iced tea.

Drive thru speaker: I have you down for a Coke.

Me: I never said I wanted a Coke! I want an iced tea! 

Drive thru speaker: So you want me to change the drink from a Coke to iced tea?

Me: ...

Drive thru speaker: Sir?

Me: Yeah, change the Coke to a tea. 

Drive thru speaker: OK, thank you for coming to Burger Beast. That’ll be $13.99! Drive around!

Me: What?! It was $5.99 a minute ago. How did it get to be $13.99? 

Drive thru speaker:That’s the total for a Wacky Burger combo with fries and a Coke, a Wacky Burger with no onions, extra pickles, a side salad and iced tea.

Me: WHAT?!?!

Drive thru speaker: Sorry, forgot to add the Fondue Frosty.

Me: Censored!

Drive thru speaker: Oh boy, better call the cops. Another customer's flipping out on us again.


Thank you.

And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.

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