Monday, June 9, 2014

What's On My Mind?

Hi there!

Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog with more fiber and less processed sugar than other blogs. 

So today we're going to take a look at the topic of...


Yeah, that's me and women reading this looking at that thought bubble are probably thinking, "Yeah, that's pretty much what we figured." 

Now at this point I should say something to defend if not the male gender but certainly myself. The thing is, yep, that thought bubble pretty much covers it.  

That's not to say I don't have thoughts or feelings or ideas or dreams or whatever else goes on in the human brain. In fact, the toy monkey with the clanging cymbals is the exception not the rule. 

But not by much. 

I don't know how the female mind works...

You know, I could stop right here and not write another single word for I will never write a truer sentence than that. But I must press forward. 

I don't know how the female mind works but it seems to me that it never stops working, particularly on the question of "why".  
  • "Why didn't he call?"
  • "Why did she say that?"
  • "Why am I feeling this way?" 
  • "Why do I love him so?"
  • "Why does she make me so angry?"
  • "Why can't I let this go?"
  • "Why?"  

These questions of "why" get explored individually and in groups of women via lunch dates and texts.  Various permutations 
of the questions at hand are examined in excruciating detail. Charts and graphs are employed and reports are written and reviewed.  

Meanwhile a man thinks, for example, "Why don't I call her? Oh yeah, ball game on." And cue the toy monkey.  

That's not to say men can't be probing thinkers. We're just... how can I put this? ...more efficient about it. 

The great philosopher Renee Descartes (and he was a dude, despite being named "Renee") came up with the philosophy, "I think therefore I am." And then he went home.  

Unless he thought of that at home. Then he went to a bar. 

Unless he thought of it at a bar. Then he ordered another round. 

The point is that Descartes summed up the totality of human consciousness in five words, said "Yep, that'll work" and called it a day.  Then the toy monkey took over.  

So what's on my mind? Sometimes its the news of the day. Sometimes its a contemplation of my place in the world. Sometimes its wondering just what Peter Capaldi is going to be like as the new Doctor. But admittedly there will be times, probably too many of them, when this will be on my mind: 

"Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!"

Be good to one another. 

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