Friday, January 23, 2015

Random Stuff 'n' Things (Friday, 01/23/2015)

Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and I assure you this blog is properly inflated.  

Let's pontificate on same random stuff, shall I? 

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Sunday saw the New England Patriots romp 'n' stomp the Indianapolis Colts to gain entry to another Super Bowl. The game also saw the Patriots embroiled in yet another scandal involving (possibly) cheating. This time it involves the footballs provided by the Patriots for Sunday's games being under-inflated which makes them easier to grip in cold weather and easier to throw for short passes.  

There is the possibility that it was just a trick of the weather. It gets pretty damn cold up there in... wherever the hell in New England the Patriots play. (Vermont?) Cold weather can cause air to contract just as heated air expands.*

*SCIENCE! 

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady addressed the scandal involving his balls. Brady denies any wrongdoing with his balls. He was very adamant that he didn't want anyone touching his balls or rubbing his balls. As far as Tom Brady is concerned, his balls are perfect.**


**I may have made a... few substitutions. Click here for the actual story. 

Whether anything comes of this scandal (handily referred to as "deflategate"), it does provide people with an excuse to say "Tom Brady's deflated balls".***

***Click here if you think Tom might need help with his deflated balls. 


Patriots coach Bill Belichick is so sad and lonely. 

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This past weekend I saw this headline: Betty White Surprised With Flash Mob for Her 93rd Birthday. Guys, this dear sweet woman is an American treasure and yes, we want to show our affection for her on her birthday. But dammit, she's 93 years old! Is surprising anyone 93 years old with a flash mob a good idea? 

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Speaking of American treasures and the opposite thereof, Bill Cosby continues to be mind-numbingly stupid in the face of what's happening to his reputation. He wants to continue doing his live shows because he wants to "share this gift". Dude, you shared this gift. You shared this gift very well on such comedy albums like Bill Cosby Himself when you were still funny. But it appears you've also shared various drugs with women in their drinks so yeah, you can stop sharing your gifts. 

Look, it may be a shame if all this is not true (likelihood not good that isn't true but still) but people are not happy with you right now. You can't keep acting like you're in total denial about that. 

I mean, hell, even Jay Leno's not taking up for you. And Jay likes everybody! 

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Tom Brady's deflated balls. 

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Apropo of nothing in particular, here's a post by Jerry Beck on the creation of the Trix rabbit. Did you ever watch the TV commercials for Trix cereal and think, "Those kids are being total dicks to that rabbit"? Check out the comments to find out you're not alone. 

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And that's all I have for today. 

Saturday: The McDonald's Mystery Pie  

Sunday: Doctor Who stuff 

Until then, be good to one another.  

And don't forget Tom Brady's deflated balls. 

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