Friday, December 25, 2015

What Day Is This? Why It's Christmas Day, Sir!

Hi there and Merry Christmas! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that asks that wonderful holiday question, "Did you keep the receipt?" I'm Dave-El and once more I didn't get what I really wanted for Christmas: real estate. 

Ah, Christmas Day! A time to spend with loved ones because you have no choice because every damn thing is closed. Well, except the movie theaters and Chinese restaurants. If I were Jewish, I would be enjoying a nice egg roll and watching that heartwarming film about football concussions starring the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

The high temperature for today is going to be 75 degrees. But go ahead, wear that ugly Christmas sweater. What's a little heat exhaustion, it's Christmas Day, dammit!  

So what's on tap for this Christmas Day blog? Well, Star Wars is still a thing so let me fill up some space with some holiday Star Wars stuff I randomly grabbed from online.

I know there's the whole deal with Yoda's inverted speech pattern but during our recent re-watch of the original trilogy, I noticed that Yoda really doesn't do that that backwards talking thing all that often. All the time backwards talk Yoda does not do.  

"OK, kids! This is going on the Skywalker family Christmas card this year!"
"Christmas cards are stupid!"
"Shut up, Luke! Don't be such a Grinch!"
"Leia, Luke. How about we go make some s'mores?"
"Oh, I love s'mores!"
"S'mores are stupid!" 

Lesson #1You don't mess with Darth Vader's balls. 

So that's that for the Star Wars portion of today's post. As a Whovian, I should probably give some equal time to some funny and/or whimsical Doctor Who pictures but really, all I could find this year was this.

You may think that person's priorities are all messed up.

And you would be wrong.

You know what would bring some Christmas cheer to this blog post? Zooey Deschanel! 

OK, Zooey's wearing a red dress but it's not really saying "It's Christmas", does it? 


I put a Santa hat on her head.  

OK, here's a real photo of Zooey Deschanel with an elf hat on her head.

This is from Zooey Deschanel's big hit Christmas movie Elf which may have starred Will Ferrell but really, who can pay attention to such small details. Now what is really interesting is that the raven haired beauty that is Zooey Deschanel is blonde in this photo.

Wow! She can change her hair color at will! What an amazing talent! And look! Zooey's wearing an elf hat on the left and a Santa hat on the right! Whoa! 

OK, I'm getting a little pervy with the whole Zooey Deschanel thing and also, there may be a bit more rum in this eggnog than I anticipated. So let me wrap this up.

Thank you for popping by on this Christmas Day. Remember, if you're going over a river and through some woods to grandma's house today, dress lightly. It maybe 75 degrees outside but it's Christmas and grandma's gonna be cold, no matter what. She will have the heat turned on AND up. 

If you're looking for some other holiday stuff on this blog o' mine, click here and here for a couple of posts from last year. And for you Whovians out there, go check out last year's holiday treat, How Strax Saved Christmas

Oh, and speaking of Doctor Who, tonight is the premier of the Doctor Who Christmas Special for 2015, The Husbands of River Song. I won't have a write up for this ready for Saturday but I will do a recap/review/regurge type of thing on Sunday when I usually post my Doctor Who stuff. 

Thanks again for reading this post on this Christmas Day. And remember: You've only got 50 shopping days until Valentine's Day.

Everyone be good to one another, all right?

Oh my God! Zooey Deschanel has split herself
 into two people. Is there no end to what
fantastic things she can do?!

Counting Down To Infinity