Monday, August 12, 2019

Life At the Fortress of Ineptitude


Hi there!  Welcome to I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, an anonymous red shirt blog in a vast Capt. Kirk internet. 

 

I periodically refer to my home on this blog as the Fortress of Ineptitude.  

 

Here’s an example of why.

 

By the front door on the wall is a coat rack that can hold about 3 or 4 light weight jackets.

 

It was first placed there by me about 23 years ago.

 

About a year ago, it came loose from the wall, probably because it wasn’t holding about 3 or 4 light weight jackets but rather was being tasked with supporting the burden of about 3 or 4 heavier winter coats.

 

My daughter Randie doffed her lesbian casual flannel shirt in favor of a lesbian work flannel shirt and got busy fixing the coat rack.

 

And a good job she did of it too. Kicking up a cloud of dust with a drill, hammer, screw driver and caulking, she made all the work flannel shirt clad lesbians in the world proud and produced a coat rack firmly affixed to the wall.

 

Until last night.

 

Last night why the fam was watching television, the coat rack decided to make a  break for it.

 

The coat rack just fell to the floor for no apparent reason. No one had touched it or put anything new on it. It just fell.

 

Randie took this personally. She’s already nervous about moving away to college in a few days. Then this, her heretofore exemplary home repair work just collapses to the floor. Is it a sign?

 

She looks at me and realizes her dear beloved father, if she wasn’t here, would have to fix this. I maybe be “dear” and “beloved” but she’s lived with me all her life and she knows where the “Ineptitude” in “Fortress of Ineptitude” comes from.  

 

She learned that at an early age.

 

When Randie was still a baby in diapers, I was changing her on her changing table when I noticed a small tear in the table pad. “I will need to fix that, “ I said.

 

Little baby Randie blurts out “duct tape”. 

 

Even while still a baby, Randy had her dear beloved father pegged.

 

18 years later, Randie’s getting out her lesbian work flannel shirt along with the drill, hammer, screwdriver and caulk. She has work to do.

 

In a few days, she will be off to her new chapter in her life. What, pray tell, will we do without her at the Fortress of Ineptitude? 

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