As a young man, I swore, with my fist raised to the heavens like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind, that when I was older, as God is my witness, I would not mow the lawn again!
I did not picture myself as an adult being wealthy and successful enough to have professional landscapers care for my lawn. No, I imagined that I would live like Bob Hartley, Ph.D.
What little I knew about the world beyond the sweaty, dusty and bug infested environs of my southern home, I knew from television. TV shows like The Bob Newhart Show.
The Bob Newhart Show starred (conveniently enough) Bob Newhart as Bob Hartley, a psychologist in Chicago. Bob shared a high rise apartment with his wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette), notable to my young mind as NOT having a lawn to mow. Other minds may have noted that Bob was sharing this high rise apartment with a smart, sexy wife who was way out of his league. Me, the selling point was no lawn to mow.
And it wasn't just Bob Hartley. Over on the Mary Tyle Moore Show, Mary Richards got to enjoy a residence free of yard maintenance. Even in the decrepit walk up Gabe Kotter had to live in over in Welcome Back, Kotter, it still had the appeal of no yard to mow.
There was young me, on the planet of CrapTon, beset by dust, sweat and itchiness that I will, as God is my witness, never mow a lawn again.
Today, here at the Fortress of Ineptitude, was yard maintenance day.
To be honest, the yard is not that big. But as I've gotten older, it has become an all day thing.
I spent the morning mowing the lawn and then trimming hedges. After lunch and shower, I spent the afternoon napping to recover from the morning's yard maintenance activities.
I don't remember making such a vow but I imagine even younger Dave-El declaring, "As God is my witness, when I am older, I will not take naps!"
Now that I am older, I live for naps.
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