Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a blog that I'm sure Sarah Palin would endorse if she only understood how this internet thing works, you betcha! I'm Dave-El and you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you tonight. Today is a special occasion in the life of this blog as this is the 1,000th post I've made to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You or ISGMSAY which is pronounced with a glottal diphthong. And if you have a glottal diphthong, keep it to yourself, you pervert.
And now....A BLAST FROM THE PAST!!
But....wow! 1,000 times I've come to this blog to share with the world my thoughts, my feelings, my deeply held beliefs in an effort to make people laugh and think and 1,000 times I've apparently decided to post something else.
So what is so special about the number 1,000? Let's take a look at that but first....
HERE'S ANOTHER... BLAST FROM THE PAST!!
In case you're wondering, 1000 or one thousand is the natural number following 999 and preceding 1001. In most English-speaking countries, it is conventionally written with a comma separating the thousands unit, 1,000. But you know commas are free, right? Look even smarter and use more of them. Write it this way: 1,00,0. Now that's some outside the box thinking right there.
A millennium is 1,000 years. The year 1,000 was the last year of the 1st millennium. So all those people who thought the year 2,000 was the start of a new millennium were idiots and we would tell them that except they're still locked in their Y2K bunkers.
A grand is a slang term for one thousand units of a given currency such as dollars. So a grand piano is a $1,000 piano and a grand jury has a minimum bribe offer level of $1,000.
A picture is worth a thousand words. But what if it's a picture of a thousand words? What would that picture be worth?
According to an ancient Japanese legend, anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by a crane. But what kind of wishes can a crane grant? I think they would mostly involve fish.
Our gripping review of the number 1,000 will continue after this special anniversary message from one of our sponsors.
- There's a city in California called Thousand Oaks but I wonder if anyone has counted them lately. Maybe somebody snuck in and cut some down. Or even more insidiously, planted some extra oaks just to screw with their numbers. Are the people of Thousand Oaks, CA lying to us? Perhaps they are victims of their own self-deception. How can we believe them if nobody's keeping track of the trees? Seriously, is no one else bothered by this? IS ANYONE COUNTING THE TREES?!?!
- A Thousand Miles was a 2002 song by Vanessa Carlton. You can find this song on Vanessa's album, A Thousand Miles: The Greatest Hits of Vanessa Carlton featuring such hits as A Thousand Miles and 11 more songs which are also A Thousand Miles.
AND EVEN MORE....BLASTS FROM THE PAST!!
Here is a drawing I did of the Caped Crusader. Thanks to the abundant use of shadows and a flowing cape, I don't have to worry about such mundane things like hands or feet or a human face. |
Hey, what was happening in the year 1,000? Well, it is believed that in or around this year, Norse explorer Leif Ericson became the first European to land in the Americas, at L'Anse aux Meadows, an early pretentious French restaurant with a 4 hour wait for a table and overpriced foods based on snails. This was probably in modern-day Newfoundland; pretentious French restaurants don't advertise their actual address in an effort to keep out the riff-raff. Yes, that means you.
Nearly 500 years later, Christopher Columbus would get all the PR for "discovering America" which is a pretty big dick move on Chris's part since he had no idea where he was. Ericson wasn't that big of a dick about landing on the North American continent but then again he wasn't too impressed either. "This new land doesn't have the beautiful fjords of my home, dontcha know."
- Adalbert, Duke of Lorraine who later invented the Quiche Lorraine. Really.
- Qawam al-Daula, ruler of Kerman and lead singer of Kerman's Kermits.
- Yi Yuanji, Chinese painter famous for his realistic animal paintings. Which he accomplished by actually painting the animals themselves. One weird dude, that Yi Yuanji.
- Constantine IX Monomachos, a Byzantine emperor and possibly also a Mexican wrestler.
- Olaf I of Norway who was killed at the Battle of Svold when he fell off of a fjord. Fjord accidents are a leading cause of injury and death in Norway.
- Abu-Mahmud al-Khujandi, Persian astronomer and mathematician
- Abu Sahl al-Quhi (Kuhi), Persian astronomer and mathematician. Apparently, being a Persian astronomer and mathematician was an extremely dangerous occupation
- Ahmad ibn Fadlan, Arab writer and traveler who over a thousand years later is still stuck in line waiting to get through the TSA security check.
- Al-Muqaddasi, Arab geographer
- Ælfthryth, second or third wife (who can really keep count of these minor details?) of Edgar of England
- Garcia IV of Pamplona who was just a derivative rehash of Garcia I through III.
- David III of Tao who was murdered by his nobles which means it was a high class affair. Who wants to be murdered by poor people?
- Huyan Zan, Chinese general eating Chinese chicken and then his brain started ticking...
- Hrosvit, Saxon nun who was mad at the other nuns who kept pronouncing her name as "Horse Shit".
Thank you, American Glory! Now back to our thrill-a-minute look at the number 1,000!
But first...
YET ANOTHER.... BLAST FROM THE PAST!!
Once in a while, my cousin Kal-El will let me take the super suit out for a spin. |
Oooh! Pretty! |
- Click on this link for a list of 1,000 Awesome Things.
- And click on this other link for 1,000 Life Hacks.
ONE LAST... BLAST FROM THE PAST!!
A pic of me at Duke University in the winter of 2013. The brain specialists tell me my brain will have to come out! |
And that is that for this 1000th post here at I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You or ISGMSAY which is oddly enough also the name of a particularly breathtaking fjord in Norway.
This special 1,000th post has been brought to you by Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium and American Glory and is a production of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You Productions, a division of Dave-El Inc. No part of this post can be reproduced without the express written consent of Constantine IX Monomachos.
Thanks for popping by today and to my long time readers, seek immediate medical attention. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.
Making my way down town
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder If you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in
Your precious memory
'Cause I need you
And I miss you and now I wonder
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by, oh
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
And I, I don't want to let you know I,
I drown in your memory I,
I don't want to let this go
I,I don't.
Making my way down town walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time, would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, now
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you, tonight.
Songwriter: VANESSA CARLTON
© Universal Music Publishing Group
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: LyricFind
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