Monday, January 25, 2016

This (Non) Sporting Life: A Dish Best Served Cold

Hello there! Today is Monday and with any luck, I have made my way to work today with minimal loss of life, limb and car parts. The weather around the Fortress of Ineptitude was not as bad as it was further up north where snowfall was counted in units of feet. Still, there was enough snow and ice on the ground to entice me not to go anywhere until I have to.  

Well, it's Monday and I have to.  

So while I'm dealing with that, here's a post on a topic I approach once in a while on this blog, This (Non) Sporting Life. It's a blog post about sports written by a guy who doesn't know much about sports.  

That would be me. 

I mean, I do know some things but mostly I rely on what I've heard others say and some things that I've figured out on my own. (Like what AFC and NFC mean.) 

Sunday was the big conference finals to determine who will go to the Super Bowl. For the AFC (Asparagus Farmers Cooperative), the Denver Broncos defeated the ________ * New England Patriots.

*Insert your choice of word here:

  • evil
  • cheating 
  • slimeball
  • bastard 
  • asshole
  • no good
  • scum bag 

The choices are quite endless. 

The choice of who to pull for in this game was very clear to me. 

  • Peyton Manning is funnier that Tom Brady
  • Peyton Manning represents us old folks out here who don't know when to quit
  • The Patriots are fucking douchebag cheaters

Suffice to say if any team in the NFL deserves a win over those sons of bitches with the Patriots, it would be the Broncos. It was a cold day to do it too and as the Klingon proverb goes, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." *

*OK, I'll admit I shoehorned that in there but with this weekend blizzard, I've been looking for an excuse to use that quote from Star Trek in here somewhere. If you're bothered by this, you can ask for your money back. 

But I have to admit there is a selfish reason for pulling for Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncs: I don't think they can win the Super Bowl.  

Which brings us to the other conference game for the NFC (Neutrino Fish Catchers).  The Carolina Panthers vs. the Arizona Cardinals. The Panthers have been the whipping boy of the NFL for a very, very long time. Losing records. Near winless seasons. A rotation of coaches and quarterbacks hurtling around and around faster than a tilt-a-whirl. The Panthers were a joke. And the one time they actually made it to the Super Bowl before, the game itself was a lopsided embarrassment of a loss for the cats from Carolina. 

Ooh, cats from Carolina. That's a pretty clever turn of a phrase if I do say so myself. 

But this year the journey has been quite different. Instead of a team that seemed held together by duct tape and chicken wire, the Panthers have been a solid, cohesive team lead by a quarterback who is very much at the top of his game, Cam Newton.  And there's Ron Rivera, coach of the Panthers since 2011. Ron has lead a team that has continually improved to the point that this year was a nearly an undefeated season, a long away from the days of losses outnumbering wins.*

*To be honest, I really have no idea how good Newton and Rivera are. It's a wonder I remember their names. 

It was a cold day in Charlotte NC for the Panthers/Cardinals game. North Carolina didn't get hit as hard as the northeast United States but it was cold enough. Besides having home field advantage, I think the Panthers may have benefited from an Arizona team not as used to these cold temps.  

Whatever talent or luck may have brought the Panthers on Sunday, their story of destiny rolled out another win and we're off to the Super Bowl

Part of me would've loved to see Cam Newton layeth the smacketh down on Tom Brady's deflated balls but all I'm looking for is a Panthers win at the Super Bowl. And sadly for Peyton Manning, I think this is his last shot at a Super Bowl ring and he's going to come up empty. 

So congratulations to the Carolina Panthers for their win and good luck at your next appointment with destiny, the Super Bowl.  

I'll be back with another post tomorrow. Until then, remember to be good to one another. I'll see you in the outfield at center court in the end zone. 

Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You





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