Monday, January 4, 2016

Stop! It's Not Your Turn!

Hi there! Welcome to Day 4 of 2016. How are you liking it so far? As I write this, it's not 2016 yet but I'm going to assume for the purposes of this blog that it sucks. That way, when the actual day gets here and it sucks, I won't be disappointed. And if it doesn't suck, I will be pleasantly surprised.

Yeah, Day 4 of 2016 really sucks! 

(Hope this helps.) 

I'm still not fully recovered from the trials and tribulations of the Christmas season. For example, the credit card bills have shown up and what the fuck? I spent how much on decorative tins of popcorn?!?! Decorative tins of popcorn at Christmas are gifts that send the heartwarming message of love that says, "There is actually less of a fuck I could've given about your Christmas present. This could've been an empty decorative tin." 

I didn't do any shopping on line this year. I know, swimming against the tide and all that but when you shop online, you really have to have a good idea about who you're shopping for and what he or she might want. But if your "giving a shit meter" is running down around 1 or 2, then you go to the nearest Target or Walmart and hope something leaps out at you. Like decorative tins of popcorn. No one buys decorative tins of popcorn online. 

The problem with shopping in actual stores is I have navigate around actual people in their metal death boxes on wheels.

I don't know if it's because Walmart already had all the good spots for stores but I hardly ever go to a Target where I don't have to deal with a weird traffic stop sign configuration.  

This is a stop sign. 

Here is a basic layout for a stop sign at a three way intersection. Traffic from one direction will need to come to a complete stop before safely turning left or right onto the street. 

Here we have a 4 way intersection with traffic required to stop in two directions. Very basic stuff so far.

Now things get a bit dicey. Here we have a 4 way intersection with traffic required to stop in four directions.  Now this wonderful concept of traffic relies on everyone taking their turn and understanding who's turn it actually is without any direct communications other than incomprehensible head nods and arm waving.   

If everyone approaches the intersection in an orderly fashion, usually everything will play out OK. Cars approach the intersection 1, 2, 3, 4 and then each take their turn: 1, 2, 3, 4. But what happens when 2 or more cars approach the intersection at the same time? I believe the rule is the car on the right has right away. But everybody has a car on the right! That's not helpful. And the of course there's the driver who is just plainly an asshole. He doesn't give a shit that he was the 3rd one to approach the intersection. Damn it, he's going now! He has places to be! He's not taking turns! What is this? Kindergarten? Communism? Hell no! He's going to go for it, blowing past you with his "Vote Trump" bumper sticker mocking you. 

But at the Target nearest to me, I have to deal with something worse than the 4 way stop. I'm talking about the dreaded 3 way stop at a 4 way intersection.   

There is a rather good reason for this layout. A really busy commercial street feeds into this Target shopping center. If traffic coming from the direction had to take turns stopping, traffic would back up on the already congested street. So traffic coming from that direction can enter the shopping center unimpeded by stop signs. 

The problem here are the morons who don't see that this is a 3 way stop and one direction doesn't have to ever stop. Now, these idiots see this as a 4 way stop and they keep trying to take their turn. There is a sign at the bottom of the stop sign that says "3 Way Stop" but nobody pays attention to that. I've seen and I've had happen to me cars approaching a stop sign and then proceed out into the intersection because they think it's their damn turn!  

And sometimes, swear to God this is true, I've been behind people who are coming in from the main street and stop at the intersection even though there's no stop sign but some jerk head recognizes this is one of those Target shopping centers, thinks its a four way stop and stops to let someone have their turn! You can imagine the close calls that potentially lurk around this intersection. 

Sometimes when I have no choice but to go through this intersection, I want to roll my window down and shout, "It's a fucking three way stop!! Quit being assholes about this!!" 

Yes, it is a matter of dire and grave concern to your humble blogger.

And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.   

Action Comics#1000

Shhhhhh! I'm reading Superman in Action Comics#1000!   And it.... is.... AWESOME!!!