Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Bring Your Parents To Class

Digging through some old computer files the other day, I came across a script for a little play-let that I had written for "Bring Your Kids To Work Day" a few summers back. Every year they've performed this skit, I've been told it gets lots of laughs. I'll have to take their word for it because I've never seen this performed. Ever. Seems "Bring Your Kids To Work Day" happens when the family is away on vacation. 

Well, since kids are going back to school after the winter holiday break (and I'm really pressed for time right now), I'm going to post this nearly forgotten gem I called...



BRING YOUR PARENTS TO CLASS DAY!

Characters:
Narrator
Mrs. Landingham
Marcy Andrews
Marcy’s Mom
Robbie Blake
Dad (Robbie’s)  

Setting:
The main stage area suggests a classroom with desk, chairs, tables, blackboard or whiteboard, etc.

(Open on woman standing to the side of the stage area.) 

Narrator: Welcome to Bring Your Student to Work Day. This is a fantastic opportunity to see up close where your moms and dads work every day. Our company is a leading provider of life insurance and other financial products.  You may wonder what exactly is life insurance and other financial products and we will explore that today along with giving you a close up look at what your parents do for this company.

While we do hope to make this a fun and interesting experience for you today, please remember that this is a place of business and your parents still have responsibilities. To that end, you may wonder what is expected of you today.  To give you an understanding of that, we are going to present a little skit called….

Bring Your Parents to Class Day

(She moves in line with the stage area which has desks, chairs and other items to suggest a classroom.  This is where the Narrator can now assume the role of Mrs. Landingham, a grade school teacher.)

Mrs. Landingham:  Hello, students! Thanks for coming and bringing your parents with you for Bring Your Parents To School Day.  While this is going to be a fun and exciting time for everyone, we do need to remember that we still have work to do.  Our responsibilities to teach and to learn must go on.  Now I need to take attendance for both the students and their parents. Marcy Andrews?

Marcy (eagerly raises her hand): Present!

Mrs. Landingham:  And you have your mother with you today?

Marcy: Yes, Mrs. Landingham.

Mrs. Landingham: Well, it is certainly a pleasure to have you here today, Mrs. Andrews.

Marcy’s Mom (smiling politely and speaking calmly): I’m glad to be here.  I’m eager to watch my daughter go about her day.  And if there is anything I may help with…?

Mrs. Landingham: Well, that’s very kind of you, Mrs. Andrews.  We do have some wonderful activities that the parents can participate in today.  Now, Robbie Blake?

Robbie (tentatively raises his hand): Er…here. 

Mrs. Landingham:  Robbie! Where is your dad?

Robbie:  I don’t know, Mrs. Landingham.  I told him what time class started.

DAD enters, dressed sloppily in a battered T-Shirt, shorts and flip flops.

Dad (very loudly): ROBBIE! HEY! (moving towards Robbie’s desk) Excuse ME! OH, boy! I had a HECK of a time finding the place! Turns out there’s a big sign out front that says SCHOOL! Who KNEW, huh? Hey there, son! (plops down in chair next to Robbie).

Mrs. Landingham: Mr. Blake!

Dad: Hi ya, teach!

Robbie (embarrassed): Daaaaad…..

Mrs. Landingham: We are pleased that you have decided to come to “Bring Your Parents to Class” Day..

Dad: Oh, yeah! Get out of work, you know? Chance to hang out and goof off with  Robbie  here.  Right, sport? (noogies Robbie’s head)

Robbie: Daaaaaaad! 

Mrs. Landingham: Mr. Blake, the students are not here to goof off.

Dad: Oh.

Mrs. Landingham: And neither are the parents.

Dad: Oooooh.  (pause) Bummer.

Mrs. Landingham: Since we are a bit behind now, I forego the rest of the attendance.  I can see who’s here.  So let’s get to work.   Students, if you will turn to page 3 of…

Dad (raising arm energetically): Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!   

Mrs. Landingham (coldly): Yes, Mr. Blake?

Dad: When’s lunch?

Mrs. Landingham (irritated): Mr. Blake, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning.

Dad: Really? Seems like I’ve been here for-ev-er!

Robbie  (head in hands, muttering to himself): Oh, this is so bad.

Dad (to Marcy): Hey! Are you Marcy?

Marcy (hesitantly): Er…yeah?

Dad: Cool! (to Robbie) Hey, it’s that girl you said you liked!

Robbie (head on desk): Oh, no.

Marcy: What?

Mrs. Landingham: What?

Dad (to Marcy’s mom): Are you Marcy’s sister?

Mrs. Landingham: Mr. Blake!

Marcy’s Mom (coldly):  Mother.

Dad: Oh!  (pantomimes putting phone to his ear, mouths “Call me.”)

Mrs. Landingham (ignoring Dad): Class, on page 3 of the history text for today, please note…

(Dad furiously writing)

Mrs. Landingham (continuing): That on this date in history in 1692, the king had sent an order…

(Dad thrusts note to Robbie).

Robbie (startled): What?

Mrs. Landingham (turning): What now?

Robbie (holding note): Er…uh….

Mrs. Landingham (irritated): Passing notes?

Robbie (gesturing feebly towards Dad): Well, you see, Mrs. Landingham, it came from…

Mrs. Landingham (snatching note): I know EXACTLY where it came from!

Dad (accusatory): Dude!

Mrs. Landingham (unfolds note):  “Booger.”

Dad (snorts): Funny, huh?

(Mrs. Landingham stares at him.) 

Dad: Says “booger”. 

Marcy: Ah, Mrs. Landingham? Do you want me to throw that away?

Mrs. Landingham (smiles sweetly to Marcy): No, dear.  (sneers at Dad) I best hold on to this.  (lays note on desk and turns back to the class)  In 1692…

Dad (raising arm again even more energetically): OOH! OOH! OOH!

Mrs. Landingham (exasperated): What now, Mr. Blake?

Dad: Can we have recess?

Mrs. Landingham: Recess?

Robbie  (to anyone who will listen): I have no idea who this man is.

Dad: Yeah, recess.  This is boring!

Mrs. Landingham: Mr. Blake, you have disrupted my class for the last time.  Go to the principal’s office.

Dad: What?

Mrs. Landingham: Yes and you too, Robbie !

Robbie: What?

Mrs. Landingham: On “Bring Your Parent to School” Day, students are responsible for their parents.

Robbie: Is it too late to say this man is an imposter?

Mrs. Landingham: Go!

Dad: This bites!

Robbie:  That I’m adopted?

Mrs. Landingham: Go! NOW!

Robbie (sullen): Okay.  (heads for the door)

Dad (following Robbie ):  Oh, you’ve gotten in some trouble now.

Robbie:  I’VE gotten in trouble?

(exit) 
______________________________________________________

Thanks for popping by. I'll be back tomorrow. Until then, remember to be good to one another. 

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