Sunday, October 2, 2016

Doctor Who: Cybermania - Episode One

Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You where each Sunday is Doctor Who Day. And today, we kick off a brand new Doctor Who fan fiction script. 

A couple of things before we get into this: 

As before, I am writing this in a script format as opposed to prose. Sorry if that's a problem. That's how I roll. 

Secondly, this adventure takes place before Series 10. If you need more info than that, just remember you're Whovians which means you're smart which means you can figure out whatever I don't specify. 

OK, let's do the disclaimer. 

And let's get this show on the road. 

by David Long
Episode One 

Scene opens: a view of a large planet from orbit. From orbit, our view descends through the clouds and to the surface below and towards a large and ornate castle. Our view enters through a window and into a vast and intricately designed courtroom. Inside this massive chamber, we hear the familiar sound of the TARDIS. 


The TARDIS materializes into view. Within moments, the 12th Doctor pokes his head out of the door. 

The Doctor: A-ha! Looks like we made it! Unless we've landed in one of Donald Trump's hotels again. 

Pushing past the Doctor is River Song. 

River: No, sweetie, this is much nicer! 

River and the Doctor look around the vast chamber. 

River: Look at all this rare art and antiquities! A girl could make a fortune with all of this stuff! 

The Doctor looks at River disapprovingly. 

River: I said a girl COULD. 

The Doctor: Where River Song is concerned, COULD and WOULD are in close company. 

River: Really, I SHOULD be offended. 

The Doctor: Are you OK with... this? Making this side trip? 

River: When a night on Darillium is 24 years, I think we can spare some time for... whatever this is. Doctor? 

The Doctor: Hmm? 

River: What is this? 

The Doctor takes out his psychic paper and gives it a tap. 

The Doctor: A message. One of some urgency from someone I didn't quite expect to...

At this moment, two armored guards enter the chamber. Between them is a man of small stature but of a confident bearing.  The Doctor smiles at the sight of this person.

The Doctor: Porridge! 

The Emperor looks puzzled. 

Emperor: Excuse me? Who...? 

The Doctor: Oh, sorry. Where are my manners? Perhaps I should extend formal greetings, Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, also known as Longstaff the 41st, Defender of Humanity, Imperator of Known Space. 

Emperor: Who… are you? That box, it belongs to the Doctor.

The Doctor: And I am the Doctor. Sorry, it’s been awhile since we last met. I regen-

Emperor: Have aged.

The Doctor: ….yes. Yes, let’s go with-

Emperor: A lot.

The Doctor: It’s been a long…

Emperor: And not at all well.

The Doctor pauses. River is a few steps behind the Doctor, barely containing her amusement. The Doctor does not turn to face River but speaks to her.

The Doctor: River?

River: Yes, my love?

The Doctor: Are you… laughing?

River: I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetie.

Emperor: And this lovely lady is...?

The Doctor: Ah, right! This is River Song,, my...

River: Careful, dear. You might break something. 

River extends her hand towards the Emperor. 

River: I'm the Doctor's wife. 

The Emperor gallantly kisses River's hand. 

Emperor: Enchanted to meet you. 

River: Of course you are. 

The Doctor: River! 

River: What, sweetie? 

The Doctor: Ahem! Emperor, I received your message.

Emperor: And I am most grateful for that. 

The Doctor: And I am most concerned.

Emperor: As well you should be.  

River: What exactly is the problem?  

Emperor: Yes... well, I don’t know if I would call it a problem but it’s…

The Doctor: Yes?

Emperor: It’s… weird.

The Doctor: Weird?

Emperor: Yes. Weird.

River: I like weird.

The Doctor: Down, River. 

River: What?

Emperor: Perhaps I should show you.

The Doctor: Perhaps you should.  

The Doctor, River, the Emperor and his two guards are walking down a corridor.  

Emperor: Um, Doctor? I was wondering…

The Doctor: Yes?

Emperor: About Clara. Where is she?

The Doctor: We… no longer travel together.

River looks warily and with concern at the Doctor. 

Emperor: Oh. I see. Is she… well?

The Doctor: She... she's fine. Oh, will you look at that?

The Doctor, River and the Emperor enter a chamber with various pieces of art and statuary. And in the middle of it all stands a Cyberman. 

River: A Cyberman!

Emperor: Yes! Well, not quite! It's an empty Cyberman shell.

The Doctor: A memorial.

Emperor: A reminder. My kingdom is at peace, Doctor. We should never be so complacent as to forget the price we paid for that peace.

The Doctor: But things haven't been so peaceful in here as of late.

Emperor: Recently, the Cyberman...or rather, this shell began emitting a signal.

River: A signal? What kind of...?

The Doctor retrieves his sonic screwdriver and aims it at the Cyberman shell.

The Doctor: Let's have a listen.

The sonic makes a trilling noise and then an odd otherworldly hum fills the room.

The Doctor: Oh my!

River: Doctor, that can't be....

Emperor: What is it? Do you recognize that signal?

The Doctor: It's a... basic number code. A sequence of numbers....

Emperor: Numbers?  

River: Doctor, that signal pattern, it's consistent with....

The Doctor: Yes, I know. A Gallifreyan distress signal. 

Emperor: What numbers? 

The Doctor: 13, 3, 23, 8, 8, 18. 

Emperor: And those numbers, do they mean anything? 

The Doctor: It depends. River? 

River: Yes, my love? 

The Doctor: Do those numbers mean anything to you?

River: Ah, no, not really.  

The Doctor: To answer your question, your majesty, I don't know what those numbers mean.  

The Doctor makes a face. 

The Doctor: And I hate not knowing.  

The Doctor approaches the shell and sonics the neck.

River: Careful...

The Doctor: When I am never....don't answer that.

The Cyberman helmet pops open and inside is nothing.

Emperor: Completely hollow.

The Doctor: Hollow, yes. Completely....?

The Doctor puts away his sonic screwdriver and dons his sunglasses. He touches the side and the glasses begin to trill.

The Doctor: I'm not so... oh my giddy aunt, look at that.

Our view shifts to look through the Doctor's sunglasses. We see tiny tendrils of light worming their way through the metal of the Cyberman's head. 

The Doctor backs away from the Cyberman.

Emperor: Doctor?

River: What did you see?

Emperor: Are my people in danger?

The Doctor: Your dead Cyberman.... isn't quite dead.

The Doctor turns towards the Emperor and River excitedly.

The Doctor: Nanobots working at the subatomic level, right in the skin of the Cyberman metal, installing hardware, booting up software.... that's clever! Very clever! I wonder why the Cybermen have never done this before?

Emperor: Doctor!

The Doctor: And those numbers....

River: 13, 3, 23, 8, 8, 18. 

The Doctor: It means... something. Skittering on the edges of my brain. Connecting with something, something I just said...

Emperor: Doctor! 

The Doctor: Yes, Emperor! Your people, all of us are in a great deal of danger!

Suddenly the Cyberman head slams shut with a loud clank. It looks up, eyes glowing.

Cyberman: Correct!

River and the Emperor's guards immediately draw weapons and go into a defensive posture. River grasps the Doctor's arm to pull him back while the guards thrust themselves in front of the emperor. 

River: Everybody! Back! Now!

The Cyberman raises his arm and a weapon extends from his wrist and begins blasting.

As the Doctor and the Emperor seek cover, River and the Emperor's guards begin returning fire. Suddenly the Cyberman accelerates and is upon one of the guards. With a hand on his shoulder, the Cyberman electrifies the guard who lets out a scream of pain.  

Cyberman: Genetic material required.  

River (to the other guard): Back! NOW! 

River and the guard join the Doctor and the Emperor. 

River: Doctor, I've never seen a Cyberman move like that before! 

The Doctor: A nasty new trick the Cybermen of this sector picked up. I really don't care for it. 

Emperor: What in the seven hells is he doing? 

We see the Cyberman's shell splitting in two from the helmet down to the torso while its arms lift up the smoldering figure of the guard and pushes the guard's body against and into the shell. The guard is screaming in pain and panic as the Cyber shell closes in around him.  

Cyberman: Genetic material acquired. 

River: What the hell...?  

The Doctor: Whatever the advancements of nanotech in the Cyberman's metal skin, it still needs an organic component. 

River: Which means it can be killed! 

River along with the guard begin firing on the Cyberman. While the Cyberman shakes and smolders assimilating the body it just absorbed, the energy blasts from River and the guard's weapons have no impact. 

Meanwhile, the Emperor withdraws a device from his cloak. 

Emperor: This is the Emperor. Assemble all forces at once to the main hall. We are under attack! I repeat...

Suddenly the Cyberman raises an arm as a blaster shoots forth energy that explodes the floor near the Doctor, River and the Emperor. A follow up blast strikes the remaining guard, killing him. 

River fires off another blast which bounces off the Cyberman's form. 

Cyberman: Now, cut that out! 

Another blast from the Cyberman shoots the weapon from River's hand. River screams in pain as the Doctor rushes to her side. 

The Doctor: River! 

Cyberman: Do you have any idea how ANNOYING that is? 

The Doctor: Wait! What?  

Cyberman: You have no idea what you’re dealing with, do you, Doctor?

River: Doctor, he’s not talking like a regular Cyberman.

The Doctor: Because, River, he’s not a regular Cyberman.

Cyberman: Oh, could it be? Could it be that the scales have fallen from your eyes? Well, it's about time! Seeing as I'm... done cooking.  

River: What is he talking about?

The Doctor: The message, River. The numbers in the signal: 13, 3, 23, 8, 8, 18. They match to letters in the English alphabet. Simple, really but very...

The Cyberman presses a button at his neck.

The Doctor: Clever. M C W H..,

A hiss of air as the Cyberman helmet begins to open.

The Doctor: H R…

River: Oh my God!

The Doctor: Our Cyberman foe was announcing his name and his intentions. And now…

Cyberman (from behind): And now, dear Doctor…

Scene shifts to the front of the Cyberman as we see the helmet is open and shows us the face... of the 11th Doctor?

Cyberman: Mister Clever Will Have His Revenge!

Next time: 

The Cyberman enemy the Doctor never expected to face again has returned. How can the Doctor defeat a Cyberman with his memories and the knowledge of a Time Lord?

Our story unfolds next week with Episode Two of Cybermania.

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.

Where The !@##$% Is Doctor Who?!?!?

Yeah, that's what I would like to know!   Look, I thought the info was solid, that after England's first game in the 2018 Wo...