Thursday, October 20, 2016

Stranger Things IV: The Upside Down





This past Friday, the El family gathered in the Fortress of Ineptitude to watch the last two episodes of Stranger Things, Season 1.  And I for one am glad it’s over. This stupid show has annoyed the crap out of me with its imaginative storyline, clever writing and engaging characters. Really, who has time for that? So screw you, Stranger Things!





DAMN IT! HOW MUCH LONGER UNTIL SEASON 2?!?!


Sorry.


OK, so what went down? A lot!


The threads of our narrative finally draw together the kids and Eleven; Joyce and Hopper; and Jonathan and Nancy. El breaks through to the Upside Down and finds Barb (sorry, she’s dead) and Will (not dead… yet).


So Joyce and Hopper are off to the quasi-secret government facility where Hopper bad asses his way into getting himself and Joyce entry through the Cthulhu portal into the Upside Down.


Meanwhile, Jonathan and Nancy head back to his place to set a trap for the demi-gorgon. Steve shows up (more on him in a moment) and he's freaked the hell out to see Nancy and Jonathan going all monster hunter with a gun, a bat with nails sticking out of it, a bear trap and gasoline. Jonathan and Nancy have lured the monster with their own blood and they spring the trap. Which doesn’t quite work… until it does. Yay! The demi-gorgon’s dead!


Except…


Meanwhile the kids are cooling in Hawkins Middle School where Dustin and Lucas are raiding a secret stash of chocolate pudding while Mike and Eleven have a moment that culminates with Mike kissing El! Zoinks! However, the agents of the quasi-secret government facility have cornered the kids and the icky white haired dude has got Eleven in his grasp. But not before El goes all Scanners on some of the dudes and explodes their brains, creating quite a bit of blood. More than enough, to, oh, I don’t know…


SUMMON THE NOT DEAD AFTER ALL DEMI-GORGON! 


The not dead after all demi-gorgon slaughters a bunch of dudes including icky white haired guy (rot in hell, ya bastard!) but now he’s after the kids. But Eleven steps up, takes out the monster but apparently she destroys herself in the process.


But…


But…


THAT’S NOT FAIR! Mike just kissed her! He was going to take her to the Snow Ball Dance!


ARRRRRRRRGGHHH!!!


Oh, Joyce and Hopper find Will but it’s… too late? Oh hell no, not if Hopper has anything to say about it! We see some heart wrenching flashbacks to the death of this daughter and we see just how damned determine Hopper is to not lose another child. So Hopper and Joyce go to town, doing CPR like a bitch until Will coughs and sputters his way back to life. 


The series ends with a number of unanswered questions.


After the events at the school and in the Upside Down, Hopper is taken away by quasi-secret government agent types but later he’s back on the job as the police chief. Who took him and where? What happened?


And Will spent a lot of time trapped in the Upside Down. He seems physically healthy. Until we see him cough up a slug from the Upside Down and we see that Will has moments when he still can see that weird distorted world around him.


And the biggest mystery of them all:


WHY CAN’T WE JUST BE ALLOWED TO HATE STEVE?!?!?


As you may recall from last week, it seems Steve lost it when he saw Jonathan in Nancy’s room after their first encounter with the Upside Down. A message calling Nancy a slut has been scrawled across the downtown movie theater marquee and Jonathan beats the ever living crap out of Steve for putting it there.


Except he didn’t. It seems it was that jerk of a friend that Steve was hanging out with. Steve even volunteers to clean off the sign. And at the end of the final episode, Nancy gives Jonathan a new camera for Christmas, a gift it seems that Steve had a hand in getting.


I WANT TO JUST HATE STEVE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?


Anyway, I can now watch all the Stranger Things stuff online that I’ve been avoiding like the kids appearance on The Tonight Show where they played a game of Stranger Strings with host Jimmy Fallon. I can finally read the memes and know what the hell they’re all about. I can now navigate the internet with impunity, unhindered by Stranger Things ignorance now that I’ve finally watched this stupid show on stupid Netflix.


Stupid show.






WHEN IS SEASON 2 GOING TO GET HERE?!?!?


Thank you for coming by and I’m so glad my suffering amuses you.

___________________________


And speaking of suffering, tomorrow’s blog post takes a look at Wednesday’s 3rd Presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. C’mon! It’ll be FUN!


Until then, remember to be good to one another. 

Jerry Lewis, Comic Book Character

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