Sunday, October 23, 2016

Doctor Who - Cybermania - Episode Three

Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that refuses to believe that's butter. I'm Dave-El and I can assure you, it's not. 

Today is Sunday which is Doctor Who Day here at the old blog thing. After taking a week off, my new fan-fiction script is back.

But first, here are links to...

Episode One
Episode Two

And a couple of comments on the story thus far:

Yes, our antagonist is Mr. Clever, the mash up of the 11th Doctor and the Cyber Planner for the episode Nightmare In Silver. Now you might say, "But wasn't Mr. Clever just a manifestation in the Doctor's head when the Cybermites invaded his body? And once the Doctor expelled the Cyber Planner, that should've been it for ol' Mr. Clever, right?

You're right: it should've been. All will be made clear on what exactly is this Mr. Clever's actual deal.

In Episode Two, I have the 12th Doctor leading River away with the quip, "Move along, Pond." Yes, I know that was what the 11th Doctor said to Amy but I thought it was kind of cool to have the 12th Doctor say it to River as a passing  acknowledgement of River's parentage. Of course, this Doctor does have trouble telling humans apart sometimes so maybe he really confused River and Amy.  Although given what's going on back Darillium, God, I hope not.

Moving forward now. And look! Here's the disclaimer.

And now let's get this party started with...

by David Long
Episode Three


Scene opens: Outer space and the Cybermen fleet. We zoom in on the flagship and Cybermen are moving about like the efficient parts of a well oiled machine. One of the Cybermen stands out a bit from the rest. He's the Cyber Leader and he's in a major operations center of the ship. 

Cyber Leader: Give me tactical. 

Cyberman 1: The anomaly at the periphery of our security screen has been detected.  

Cyber Leader: Query: An anomaly? 

Cyberman 1: Designation: THE Anomaly. 

Cyber Leader: That is not a logical assessment. The Anomaly cannot exist. 

Cyberman 1: All sensors and indicators read positive for the presence of the Anomaly. 

Cyber Leader: Confirmation! 

Cyberman 2:  All sensors and indicators read positive for the presence of the Anomaly. And… 

Monitor shifts to the face of the Cyber Planner/11th Doctor mash up we know as Mr. Clever 

Cyberman 2: We can see him.  

Mr. Clever grins and waves. 

Cyber Leader: All quarters! All quadrants! Alert! Alert! 

Cyberman 1: Engaging emergency protocols. 

Cyberman 2: Maximum energy to defense shields. 

Cyber Leader: Cyber forces, engage threat status omega! 

Our view pulls out as we see a flurry of activity as Cybermen urgently move about the larger ships as smaller ships whiz about. Our view shifts across space and we see the silver form of Mr. Clever standing on an small asteroid watching all this activity. He smiles a wicked smile.

Mr. Clever: Ha. 

Scene changes: an extreme close up a pair of eyes, open wide and frantic. 

10th Doctor’s voice: River! NO! 

Our view pulls out and we see the 10th Doctor kneeling on the floor with a wrist cuffed to a pipe. And we see River in a space suit, seated and hooking herself into an apparatus.   

DOCTOR: This is not a joke. Stop this now. This is going to kill you! I'd have a chance, you don't have any. 

RIVER: You wouldn't have a chance, and neither do I. I'm timing it for the end of the countdown. There'll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download. 

DOCTOR: River, please. No. 

RIVER: Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, I mean, you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. What a night that was. The Towers sang, and you cried. 

COMPUTER: Auto-destruct in one minute. 

RIVER: You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the library. You even gave me your screwdriver. That should have been a clue. 
(The two screwdrivers and her diary are just out of the Doctor's reach.) 

RIVER: There's nothing you can do. 

DOCTOR: You can let me do this. 

RIVER: If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you. 

DOCTOR: Time can be rewritten. 

RIVER: Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare. It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run. 

DOCTOR: River, you know my name. 

COMPUTER: Auto-destruct in ten 

DOCTOR: You whispered my name in my ear. 

COMPUTER: Nine, eight, seven 

DOCTOR: There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could. 

RIVER: Hush, now. 

COMPUTER Four, three 

RIVER: Spoilers. 

COMPUTER: Two, one 

(River joins two power cables together, and there is a blinding light.) 

River’s voice: Doctor?! 

Scene jump cut: interior of the TARDIS, the 12th Doctor in a chair by one of the book shelves on the 2nd level. River is standing over.  

The Doctor: What? Who? Where? When? Why? 

River: It’s OK. You were sleeping. 

The Doctor: Well, no one says my name for 5 minutes so I figure nothing important’s going on, might as well take a nap.  

River: You seemed distressed. You were… dreaming?  

The Doctor jumps up from the chair and immediately paces down the length of his library of books. 

The Doctor: A nasty habit. I need to drop it, pick up something else. Knitting perhaps.

River: Doctor…

The Doctor nimbly descends stairs to the main level and approaches the console. 

The Doctor: You know, River, we really should  get back to Darillium.  

River follows him down. 

River: But we still need to track down that strange Cyberman creature.

The Doctor slaps the Cyber head mounted on the console. 

Doctor: I still can’t get the Cyber helmet to triangulate to Mr. Clever’s position. Maybe not enough residual nannite tech left. So, you know what? Maybe I’ve decided it’s not my problem. 

River: Not your…? What the hell has gotten into you? 

Doctor: Me? I’m fine! I’ve got my TARDIS with my wife by my side and all…

The Doctor stops. 

River: …and all the time in the world. 

The Doctor (softly): Yeah. 

River touches his arm and he turns to face her. 

River: We don’t have all the time in the world, my love. We do have all the time we need.  

The Doctor looks at her and grins an awkward smile as she smiles back and kisses him on the cheek. 

Suddenly, the TARDIS console starts beeping. Both the Doctor and River approach the controls. 

River: Are we getting a reading from the helmet? 

The Doctor: No but I have been scanning for Cyberman activity and… uh oh. 

River: Uh oh? 

The Doctor: Ever been to Akhaten before? 

River: Akhaten! No! I’ve always wanted to go! So many opportunities for st-

The Doctor: Shopping, River. No stealing! 

River: Well, I was actually going to say “studying the local cultures”. I am an archeologist, you know. But hey,  you have fun your way and I’ll…

The Doctor: Oh shut up! 

The Doctor pulls down the lever and the time rotors begin to turn.  

Scene change: The spectacular view in space of Akhaten. A helpful graphic comes up to tell us that we’re over Akhaten.  

Scene change: surface of the planet on the edge of a busy marketplace. The TARDIS materializes into view with a VWORP! VWORP! VWORP! 

The Doctor and River exit the TARDIS. 

River: Everything seems…

A bizarre creature walks by with a long thick neck and a giant eyeball on the top that looks at River then continues on.

River: Normal. 

The Doctor: C'mon! This way.

River: You've been here before?

The Doctor: Yes!

River: With Clara?

The Doctor eyes betrays a slight sadness.

The Doctor: Maybe?

The Doctor and River move deeper into the marketplace. 

The Doctor: The TARDIS picked up Cyberman activity on this planet. Now we just need to find ourselves some Cybermen. 

River: So where do we start? 

The Doctor: Look for a swarm of people running very fast, then we go towards what they’re running…

Suddenly a horde of people rush past. The Doctor reaches out to grasp the arm (tentacle) of a passing alien person. 

The Doctor: From? Excuse me! 

Alien person: Can’t stop! Cybermen! 

The Doctor: A-ha! Thanks! River, this way!

The Doctor and River start to head off where the crowd is running from but the alien person calls out.

Alien person: Hey! Where you going? The Cybermen are this way!

And the alien person rejoins the fast moving throng. 

River: They’re running TOWARDS the Cybermen? 

The Doctor puts on his sonic sunglasses and begins to scan the crowd.

The Doctor: Some kind of mind control? Mass hysteria? 

River grabs the Doctor by the arm. 

River: C’mon, you! This way! We have to see what's this is about! 

So River and the Doctor follow the throng but then they find themselves stopped by a wall people. 

The Doctor: I can’t see!  Wait! Do you hear music?

There is a rhythmic thumping in the background, like the bass sound of a stereo speaker from inside a closed car.  

River: We need to pull rank! 

The Doctor pulls out his psychic paper.

The Doctor (to River): Exactly! 

The Doctor waves the psychic paper high over his head and shouts to the crowd. 

The Doctor: Excuse me! Excuse me! Very important people here need to get through! I’m…well, just work it for yourselves. 

As the Doctor and River make their way through the crowd, we hear a murmuring.


River: Leopold?

The Doctor shrugs.


Meanwhile as the Doctor and River get closer to their destination, the thumping bass getting louder, more distinct and almost recognizable.

River: Doctor, that music! My parents danced to it at their wedding!

The Doctor: What is going… on…. here? 

River (incredulous): Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!

Our view shifts and we see what the Doctor and River see as they reach the edge of the crowd. 

The music: Hey, Macarena!

And a dozen Cyberman are in a courtyard dancing to it. The Doctor touches the side of his sonic sun glasses.

River: This is the most insane thing I've ever seen. And remember, I've seen YOU dance!

The Doctor: I've gotten better since the days of the chin and the bow tie. Hold on, I'm trying to scan down into the sub-ether, see if I can...a ha!

River:  What are you seeing?

Cut to the Doctor's perspective through the glasses, a network of glowing sputtering and jagged lines connecting the Cybermen.

The Doctor: The Cybernet, the source of all unified knowledge and instruction for the Cybermen...

Back out to River and the Doctor as the Doctor pulls of his sunglasses.

The Doctor: The Cybernet has been corrupted!

River: That's not good!

The Doctor: So far from good, it's gone all the way 'round and... back... to good again?

River: Sweetie, that doesn't make sense.

The Doctor: Sorry, that one got away from me.  

River: We have to get to the bottom of this. It looks silly now but it can get really dangerous really quick.

The Doctor: Can and will. We need to stop this before innocent lives are lost and besides...

River: Yes...?

The Doctor: Their dancing is really quite awful.

The Doctor and River make their way back through the crowd as the Cybermen continue dancing.

Scene change: Outer space and the Cybermen fleet. We zoom in on the flagship and Cyberman are moving about like flailing puppets with their strings cut. There's a lot of metallic screeching noises. One of the Cybermen stands out a bit from the rest. He's the Cyber Leader and he's sitting on the floor in a major operations center of the ship having a sobbing emotional meltdown. Then we see a shadow fall over him and we hear a voice.

Mr. Clever's voice: You didn't listen to me before and look where it got you.

Our view shifts as we see Mr. Clever lean down next to the distraught Cyber Leader. 

Mr. Clever: Maybe you'll listen to me now.

Close up of Mr. Clever.

Mr. Clever: And soon the entire universe will listen to what I have to say!

------to be continued------


Credit where credit is due: 

The sequence with the 10th Doctor and River was written   by Steven Moffat (of course) from the Series 4 episode Forest of the Dead.

Transcript provided by

Next time:
  • More Cybermen goofiness as we check in on some special guest stars.
  • But Mr. Clever has darker, more serious plans.
  • And what is the deal with Mr. Clever? Who is he? How did he come to be? The Doctor and River find out the secret origin of Mr. Clever.

Next week with episode four of Cybermania

Meanwhile a new post on some thing or another is coming up tomorrow. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.  

And maybe fit in some time... for DANCING! 

Where The !@##$% Is Doctor Who?!?!?

Yeah, that's what I would like to know!   Look, I thought the info was solid, that after England's first game in the 2018 Wo...