Hi there! Dave-El here blogging from the main desk of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You Central buried deep in the bowels of the Fortress of Ineptitude. Yes, instead of composing these pinnacles of poetic posts on my phone or on the computers of others, I'm back pounding the keyboard of my own trusty computer that I call... "Computer".
I took Computer to a local computer place that has done good work for me in the past. My problem started when my Wi-Fi adaptor stopped working but it turned it out the problem wasn't the adaptor but the USB port it was plugged into but then it turned out it wasn't the USB port but my hard drive was corrupted.
Apparently my hard drive was taking bribes from the Russians. Bad hard drive! Bad!
Anyway, the computer guys did whatever computer guys do and made Computer all better. I retrieved my loyal computing companion from their pale hands and returned to the Fortress to get back to work... doing... well, this. Whatever this is.
I retreated to my inner sanctum sanctorum to bring Computer back to life so that I could get back to doing what I was doing on my phone but now with a bigger screen and a keyboard made for normal adult hands.
I connected the monitor, the mouse, the speakers and plugged in the power.
And nothing happened.
I was puzzled. I puzzled and puzzed until my puzzler was sore. I plugged in the right things to the right places. Why was Computer not coming to life?
So I unplugged everything and then...
I connected the monitor, the mouse, the speakers and plugged in the power. I did the exact same thing.
And nothing happened.
Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But nothing was making sense. I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do. I was at a complete loss to figure out what I was supposed to do differently.
So I unplugged everything.
I examined each cord even though I had no damn idea what I was looking for. Maybe some helpful tag with an instruction like "Stick your tongue out and wink your left eye when you plug this in." You know, something like that.
But failing that...
I connected the monitor, the mouse, the speakers and plugged in the power. I did the exact same thing I had done twice before.
Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So what do you call it when you get a different result? Because on that third attempt, doing everything I had done before, Computer came to life.
And here we are.
What is frustrating to me is how this sort of thing happens all the time. Like plugging in my phone to charge, for example. There's only 1 way for the plug to go into the phone. Yet it usually takes me 4 or 5 tries to get it to work. Why? If I don't get it the 1st time, I should be able to plug the phone in on the 2nd attempt, right?
And that's just the kind of torment I deal with everyday.
And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.