Monday, March 10, 2014

Dave-El 's Time Travel Weekend

Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that doesn't set the clock forward or backward but sideways.

This past weekend the United States engaged in its twice a year fuck up of sleep and dining schedules called a time change. In the fall, we move clocks back an hour for what is called Standard Time and in the spring we move them forward an hour as we move to Daylight Savings Time

Now you would think "Standard Time" would be the norm so the other would be the exception. But it's not. So called "Standard Time" in the US is in effect for about 4 months. Since Daylight Savings Time is in effect longer than Standard Time, wouldn't that make Daylight Savings Time the actual "standard" and we should call "Standard Time"...something else? 

All I know is this really messes up my groove, you know? Hey, it's 6 PM, let's go get dinner. Except my stomach is protesting, "Hell, no! It's 5 PM, it's too early for dinner!" Eventually things settle down until the fall when the time changes again and I'm starving at 5 PM but my stomach swears its 6 PM, where the hell is dinner?!

My biggest gripe about Daylight Savings Time is that it takes all night to get dark.*

*I've been telling that joke for almost 45 years and I swear I will keep telling it until somebody finally laughs. Hell, I'll take a pity laught. C'mon! 

Almost to a person, everyone in the US hates time changes and yet we all go along with it. Well, not all of us. Arizona doesn't have to. OK, Arizona has been at the center of some dumb shit lately but c'mon, in this one thing, I think they have a point.  

Wendy Liebman (click here for her website) certainly takes issue with the time change. She had this to say on Twitter. 

Daylight Saving should start on a Friday at 4 pm. Then suddenly it's 5 and have a nice weekend.

If we're going to be stuck with changing to Daylight Savings Time, I do like Wendy's suggestion. Still, it is what it is, unfortunately, so I decided to add some clarity on knowing which way to move our clocks. 

When setting your clocks, remember: spring backward (out of fear!), fall forward (like you're drunk!) Hope that helps. 

Wendy, bless you for "favoriting" that. Nice to get validation from a professional comedian. 

Of course, the right directions for time changes are spring forward and fall back. Well, duh, right? 

Unless your Rob Ford. Ah yes, everyone's favorite crazy crack head Canadian mayor made sure to remind the good citizens of Toronto (apparently Canada goes through this shit too) to move their clocks back. 

Good show, Rob! 

On the subject of time travel, the El family ventured forth from the Fortress of Ineptitude to go see Mr. Peabody and Sherman. I enjoyed the Mr. Peabody shorts that accompanied Rocky & Bullwinkle. A lot of the innocent charm of those cartoons is lost among the whiz bang CGI and go-go pace but still, I enjoyed the movie for the most part. 

Still, there was one little thing that irked me. Here we have a movie about a bow tie wearing time traveler and we can't get one "bow ties are cool" reference? C'mon! Throw the Doctor Who fans a bone, why don't ya?  


All right, time to put this blog post to bed. And me too.  

Y'all take it easy out there and until next time, be good to one another. 

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