Sunday, March 2, 2014

What If I Had a Blog?


Today on the blog:
  • A look back on the origin and mission of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You
  • A birthday gift suggestion for Justin Bieber
  • The difference between soccer and football
  • A poetic tribute to my blog
  • 2014 Oscar Picks

So let's get busy!


"We don't go on because we're ready; we go on because it's 11:30 on a Saturday Night."
Lorne Micheals 
Executive Producer
Saturday Night Live

"If I did launch a blog, the title would be I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You although I was hoping to save that for the title of my one man off-off-Broadway play."

David Long on Facebook
May 20,2012 

A little less than a year after I made that comment on Facebook, I posted for the first time to this blog that I did indeed call I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. For the record, I still reserve the right to use that title for my future one man off-off-Broadway play.  

It was Saturday, March 2, 2013 that I first posted something to this blog, a brief intro and a little bit about my mission.  I was so happy with this shiny new blog toy that I posted 4 other things the same day!

Wow! Five blog posts in one day? I was the excited little thing, wasn't I?  

I've learned its important to pace myself, particularly as I saw this as a long term exercise so I limit myself to 1 post a day and don't beat myself up if I miss one or two. 

And what exactly IS the point of this exercise? Simply put, it is to write something

Sometimes I write something because I have an idea. 

Other times I write something because it's another day.

I suppose the former can be the most satisfying, to develop a beloved idea into an actual creative thing. But it's the latter that is the true challenge and in many ways the most fun. 

For example, take Broken News. I rarely go into Broken News with an idea of what I'm going to do. I scan the headlines online looking for something that pops out that maybe, just maybe, I can make an allegedly semi-humourous comment on. Likewise, I review news photos for Broken News in Pictures as well as something that speaks to me as potentially funny for a Broken News banner and (as I've been doing lately) the Broken News Complaint Department. And remember one crucial thing in all of this: it's just me. There is no team of writers. I don't do this for a living; this is just a silly thing I do in the crannies and crevices of my daily schedule. 

Then on Friday I post Broken News not because it's ready but because it's Friday and that's when I post Broken News

And a midst that litany of bad jokes and puns can be found, I like to think, a couple of really good jokes.  And those good jokes would not live if it weren't for the bad ones. Because I have made this commitment to write this thing, this blog.  Because a writer is not someone with ideas in their head; a writer...writes. 

So what's up for I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

Sorry to say but probably more of the same stupidity. 

Still, I hope you are very amused.

Somewhat amused?

Kind of amused?


Thanks for stopping by.

David's brain is finally
getting the professional attention
it truly needs. 


By the way, this blog is not the only thing celebrating a birthday this weekend. 

I posted this on my Twitter yesterday: 

If someone needs a gift idea for JB, the Rehab Special is 50% off this weekend.


Normally on Sunday I post something called This (Non) Sporting Life which is a blog post about sports by a guy who does not know a lot about sports.  With that in mind and while checking Wikipedia for persons who shared this date (March 2) as a birthday, I noticed these people: 
Yep, that's a lot of athletes born on March 2nd involved with football. Now, I don't know much about sports but I do know that the ones called "footballers" play what we call in the United States "soccer" which involves a lot of ball/foot contact while the American football players play a sport that, except for kicking the ball once in a while, involves little ball/foot interaction. 

I just thought that was weird.  


Today is also the birthday of Theodore Geisel also known as Dr. Suess. So in honor of the anniversary of this blog and inspired by the birthday of Dr. Suess, a bit of verse if I may. 

Today is the birthday of a blog. 
No, not of a frog
No, not of a shknog
Most certainly not of a woo-wog. 
But of a blog. 
A blog? A blog? 
What is this thing, a blog?
A blog is a log
No, not that kind of a log
Not one of wood
But one of wood of would be good
If I need a place to sit 
When I no longer stood
But this log is not of a tree 
A tree that is brown with leaves of green 
But a log is a place where I write 
On the light of a screen
A blog is a log of the thoughts 
That run 'round in my nog
Thoughts that are smart 
And thoughts that are stupid 
Thoughts from my heart 
And thoughts that are fahloopid
So happy birthday to you my blog
You are the bloggiest blog
You track the thoughts from my noggiest nog
And I haven't the foggiest fog
On how to end this rhyme
So I will just end it at this time 
With a last note to each mother and brother 
To each kuhnother and blutrother
To just be good to one another. 


Amended: Sunday, March 2nd, 2014, 6:56 PM EST 

Hi there! 

I decided at the last minute not to be a stick in the mud and actually come up with some Oscar Picks for 2014. 

Here's how I score myself: 1 point for 1st picks, 1/2 point for 2nd picks. 

Best Adapted Screenplay: "12 Years A Slave" by John Ridley 
(2nd choice: You're not going to need a 2nd choice but OK, let's go with "Philomena," by Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope. But seriously, this is going to John Ridley) 

Best Original Screenplay: "Her" by Spike Jonze 
(2nd choice: "Dallas Buyers Club," written by Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack)

Best Animated Feature: "Frozen" 
(2nd choice: "Despicable Me 2" but c'mon, it's gonna be "Frozen") 

Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong'o, "12 Years A Slave" 
(2nd choice: Jennifer Lawrence, "American Hustle") 

Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto, "Dallas Buyers Club"
(2nd choice: Bradley Cooper, "American Hustle") 

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, "Blue Jasmine"
(Despite the Woody Allen/Mia Farrow kerfluffle, I keeping seeing that Blanchett is considered a lock for this. Still for 2nd choice, why not Sandra Bullock for "Gravity"? I know, I haven't see one pick for Bullock to win this thing. Everything's coming up Blanchett everywhere I look so the idea of Bullock winning a 2nd Oscar out of nowhere and messing up a LOT of Oscar picks is too amusing to pass up.) 

Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey, "Dallas Buyers Club" 
(2nd choice: There are some rumors of a late surge of support for Leonardo Dicaprio in "The Wolf of Wall Street" but I think Matthew's got this.) 

Best Director: Alfonse Curan, "Gravity"  
(2nd choice: David O. Russell, "American Hustle") 

Best Picture: "Gravity"
(2nd choice: "12 Years A Slave" These two films were considered neck & neck but trends have been moving towards "Gravity". Still, there is a sense that this could be a real toss up.) 

OK, there you go. My past ratio of success has been around 92% to 95% with about a couple of years clocking in at 100%. Caution: these guesses are from someone who has actually seen only ONE of the movies named checked above. (I have a 13 year daughter and I'm married to a Disney nut. Go on, guess which one.) 

Actual results and how I fared will be posted on tomorrow's blog.  

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