Thursday, April 28, 2016

Ted Cruz Is A Lying Fuck Bastard - Part 13

“I would define that ticket to the American people in this way: mean and meaner." 
---Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) on Ted Cruz's announcing Carly Fiorina as his running mate.  

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Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to another damn post here on I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

As is my want on Thursdays, I devote space on this blog to this topic: 





OK, so get a load of this shit: Ted Cruz, running far behind Donald Trump in delegates, disliked by even more people than dislike Trump, coming off big losses over the last two weeks...

Announces his Vice Presidential running mate like he's got the nomination in the bag and everybody is waiting for this awesome, amazing news. 

God, you think Donald Trump is in love with his own self importance but get a load of this guy. 

And he chooses Carly Fiorina. Which is like the closest thing we can get to a female version of Ted Cruz. Cruz is so impressed with his own smug self righteousness, he found a running mate who is basically him in a dress. 

Of course Ted is preening in the press as if he just rode into fuckin' Jerusalem in time for Passover when all of this has the desperate stench of somebody trying to reverse the downward narrative of his campaign.  

Ol' Lyin' Ted did not have a good day on Tuesday during the five primaries held that day. Tangerine nightmare Donald Trump romped and stomped his way to a 5 state victory sweep leaving both Ted and that other guy...er, Jeff Kesetch? Jim Kosock? Wait! John Kasich! Yeah, that guy....battered and beaten in the dust.

Oh, speaking of Ted and....Joe? Janet? JOHN! Right, John!.... they came up with a big plan to join forces to take down the Trumpinator by agreeing to stay out of each other's way. Ted Cruz would not bug John Kasich in Oregon and New Mexico while Kasich would not challenge Cruz in Indiana.*

*See the end of today's post for a bit of a misstep Cruz made in Indiana already.

One thing that was funny about this team up of not-titans was that Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers AND Samantha Bee all compared Ted and John to the infamous Wonder Twins from the old Super Friends cartoon. Jayna could turn into any kind of animal and Zan could turn into (and I'm not making this up) any form of liquid. 

"Wonder Twin powers ACTIVATE!"
"Form of....an IGUANA!"
"Form of....FAT GUY SWEAT!" 

Yes, the Wonder Twins were lame. And now you get the joke.


And the team up seemed to fracture right out of the gate when John Kasich pointedly refused to tell any of his 14 potential voters in Indiana to vote for Ted Cruz. Just couldn't bring himself to do it.


Man, nobody likes that lying fuck bastard, do they?

By the way, betcha by golly wow that John had NO idea that Ted was gonna pull this announcing a vice president nominee thing with Carly Fiorina

As I've mentioned before on this blog and in this recurring featuring which, in case you've forgotten is called....



....it's not so much the lying that gets this blogger in a tizzy over the Texas Senator turned Presidential Candidate. No, it's mostly the "fuck bastard" part of the equation. And Ted's main contribution to the "fuck bastard" is his hypocrisy.  

Ted Cruz presents himself as an earnest, moral person looking out for what's best for America, yet he espouses views and positions that promote fear and hate while denigrating whole segments of society that don't agree with him and his view of what an American should be. 

To make the case for Ted Cruz's rampant hypocrisy, I'm going to turn the bulk of today's post over to Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D - MA) who posted this on her Twitter account.  



Yesterday  sent a campaign email whining about the “significant sacrifice” he’s made to run for President.


Here is some of the text that Sen. Warren references in her Tweet.






























Poor, poor Teddy, having to put up with so much while running for President. Well, Sen. Warren was having none of this shit and let ol' Ted have it.

Apr 19
. whined about facing constant attacks, nonexistent family time, limited health and sleep, and no personal time.

Apr 19 Are you kidding me, ? We’re supposed to pity you because trying to be the leader of the free world is hard?! 2 words: Boo hoo.


Know whose health is limited? Workers w/ no paid leave who can't stay home when sick or caring for kids.  won't support it.

Know whose sleep is limited? Working parents who stay up worrying about getting kids thru college w/o big debt.  blocked .

Know who gets no personal time? People who work 2 min wage jobs to support their families.  opposes giving them a raise.

Know who gets no family time, ? Moms w/ unfair schedules who drop kids at daycare & find their hrs cancelled.  won't help.

Know who’s facing "constant attacks," ? Hardworking American immigrants, Muslims, LGBT folks, women. Your constant attacks.

And ? Working people work more, get paid less, can't save, get mistreated, struggle with illness & family - but they don't whine.

They don't throw tantrums or try to shut down their workplace because they don't get their way - & then turn around & demand promotions.

You chose to run for President, . You chose to make your “sacrifices.” Working people don't have a choice.

Hey : Maybe you should spend less time complaining about your "significant sacrifices" - & more time doing something about theirs.

Well said, Senator. Well said indeed. I'm not sure I can add much more to that.

Well, except this:

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD!

Oh, one more thing: Ted Cruz may not know what a basketball hoop is.


During a rally Tuesday night in Indiana at a gym where "Hoosiers" was filmed, Cruz attempted to recreate a famous scene by having an aide measure the height of the basket. But Cruz referred to the hoop as a "basketball ring."

A basketball ring?

Sigh. 



Thank you for your time and attention for today's post. Until next time, remember to be good to one another. 

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