So
what’s up in the world?
It’s about the wall.
Sigh. It’s always the wall with this guy. It kind of
reminds me of college.
Dorm roommate: I’m going to get high and listen to some
music, man.
Me (thinking): Please don’t play Pink Floyd’s The Wall
again! Please don’t play Pink Floyd’s The Wall again!
Dorm roommate: The Wall by Pink Floyd, dude!
Me: DAMMIT!
Trump does love his wall. He hasn’t let go of his dream
for a big, beautiful wall between the United States and Mexico. Remember when
he used to brag about making Mexico pay for it? Here’s how that negotiation
went.
Trump: Hey, Mexico! Pay for the wall!
Mexico: Fuck you!
Trump: Hey, Congress! Pay for the wall!
Democrats: Fuck you!
Republicans: Eh, whatever you say, boss!
Democrats: Really?!
Republicans: Shhh! No, not really. But don’t tell
anyone.
Trump: Democrats hate America and won’t pay for the wall!
Democrats: But… but… it’s not… Hey, the Republicans said….
Republicans: No worries, boss! We’re working on it!
Democrats: Fuck you!
Now anybody with even the tiniest smidgen of common sense
knows Trump’s wall is a boondoggle. The logistics of constructing a wall along
the length of the American/Mexican border are just not favorable. And then
there’s the idea of whether a wall would actually be effective for all the
costs and effort required to make it a reality.
Trump at ribbon cutting for the wall.
Trump: Behold the wall! America is completely safe from illegal
immigrants!
Group of dusty immigrants with shovels standing nearby
next to a hole in the ground, chanting: USA! USA! USA!
In the sky above, immigrants wave from the bucket of a hot
air balloon, chanting: USA! USA! USA!
Trump: Dammit! Why didn’t I think of that?
And if you’re thinking that sounds like a spoiled petulant
child not getting his own way, well, duh.
Meanwhile...
Trump lawyer
Rudy Giuliani completely short circuited Monday.
Giuliani appeared to tell CNN’s Alisyn Camerota that President Donald Trump was not present at the infamous Trump Tower meeting attended by Donald Trump Jr.
Which is a interesting thing to bring up because no one else had said Trump was at the meeting. Giuliani was answering a question no one asked.
Media pundits immediately wondered, "Hey, why is Giuliani denying an accusation that no one had made?"
So Giuliani called Fox News’ “Outnumbered” hours after his CNN interview to clarify things.
Here's how that went.
“So let me take you through it. The day of the meeting with the Russians, Cohen has said ― now he’s leaked it, so we’re not even sure he’s said it, somebody said it for him through a reporter ― he said that he was in President Trump’s office, Donald Trump Jr. walked in and told him about the Russian meeting. That is categorically untrue. Did not happen.”
"Second, there was another meeting that has been leaked but hasn’t been in public yet. That was a meeting ― an alleged meeting ― three days before, according to Cohen ... he says there was a meeting with Donald Jr., with Jared Kushner, with Paul Manafort, with Gates and possibly two others, in which they ― out of the presence of the president ― discussed the meeting with the Russians. ... That meeting never, ever took place. It didn’t happen. It’s a figment of his imagination.”
Confused? You’re not the only one. Fox News hosts' eyes were spinning like a juggler's dinner plates.
Fox News host Melissa Francis asked, “Why are you saying that the president wasn’t at the meeting? Who asked if he was there? No one asked if he was there.”
Rudy Giuliani stabbed the air with his finger, smiling broadly and exclaimed, "A-HA! Exactly!"
Then Rudy Giuliani strapped on a rocket pack to his back and flew out of the studio.
Here's a visual representation of Rudy Giuliani's remarks on Fox News.
Also, there was some thing or another about some GOP politician being into "Bigfoot erotica" but guys, I'm spent.
Look, if you're really curious, click here: What’s Bigfoot’s Dick Like? And do your own research.
Giuliani appeared to tell CNN’s Alisyn Camerota that President Donald Trump was not present at the infamous Trump Tower meeting attended by Donald Trump Jr.
Which is a interesting thing to bring up because no one else had said Trump was at the meeting. Giuliani was answering a question no one asked.
Media pundits immediately wondered, "Hey, why is Giuliani denying an accusation that no one had made?"
So Giuliani called Fox News’ “Outnumbered” hours after his CNN interview to clarify things.
Here's how that went.
“So let me take you through it. The day of the meeting with the Russians, Cohen has said ― now he’s leaked it, so we’re not even sure he’s said it, somebody said it for him through a reporter ― he said that he was in President Trump’s office, Donald Trump Jr. walked in and told him about the Russian meeting. That is categorically untrue. Did not happen.”
"Second, there was another meeting that has been leaked but hasn’t been in public yet. That was a meeting ― an alleged meeting ― three days before, according to Cohen ... he says there was a meeting with Donald Jr., with Jared Kushner, with Paul Manafort, with Gates and possibly two others, in which they ― out of the presence of the president ― discussed the meeting with the Russians. ... That meeting never, ever took place. It didn’t happen. It’s a figment of his imagination.”
Confused? You’re not the only one. Fox News hosts' eyes were spinning like a juggler's dinner plates.
Fox News host Melissa Francis asked, “Why are you saying that the president wasn’t at the meeting? Who asked if he was there? No one asked if he was there.”
Rudy Giuliani stabbed the air with his finger, smiling broadly and exclaimed, "A-HA! Exactly!"
Then Rudy Giuliani strapped on a rocket pack to his back and flew out of the studio.
Here's a visual representation of Rudy Giuliani's remarks on Fox News.
Also, there was some thing or another about some GOP politician being into "Bigfoot erotica" but guys, I'm spent.
Look, if you're really curious, click here: What’s Bigfoot’s Dick Like? And do your own research.
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