It's Dave-El!! Welcome to my blog, I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You!
It’s time for #HuffPostHop, a pale imitation of the Daily Show but hell, you get what you
pay for. Featuring laugh out loud commentary on headlines from @HuffingtonPost which was later
lost so we hastily thought up this shit instead.
It’s the #HuffPostHop,
brought to you by our new sponsor on
Twitter:
Blurmph Inc, makers of...
- Blurmph
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Headlines from Huffington Post
commencing…….now!
#HuffPostHop “GOP Rep Giving Away Free Assault Weapon” All contestants must be registered Republicans and…let’s see here (looking through papers)…nothing on
arrest records or mental health….that’s pretty much it, just be a registered
Republican & for a chance to win a free automatic weapon. Good luck, you
kill crazy people you!
#HuffPostHop “Benghazi Hearing Reveals Incompetence, But
No Cover-Up” The GOP was NOT happy about that. “Incompetence? Damn, that’s our
thing!”
#HuffPostHop “Red State Dems Show No Sign Of Budging On
Background Checks” Crazy and/or
criminal gun owners are 70% of the voters back home. You don’t want them to “vote”
you out of office; that could kill a political career…and you.
#HuffPostHop “Shocking Paper On Hispanic IQ Has Think
Tank On Defensive” Really, no
offense was intended by this. Why some of their best friend’s gardeners &
housekeepers are Hispanic.
#HuffPostHop “House GOP Passes Bill Loosening Overtime
Laws” “All you poor, racist,
under-educated people who voted for us? You’re welcome.” Your GOP: Working Hard
For…Well, Somebody, We Think!
#HuffPostHop “Ugandan Priest Suspended For Denouncing
Sex Abuse?” Well, that’s a real dick move!
#HuffPostHop “Cicadas To Emerge In Massive Swarms After
17 Years Underground” They can’t
wait to catch up on the latest Spice
Girl news! Me, this is the perfect time to practice my grandmother’s recipe
for Cicada Casserole Surprise! (The
surprise is the cicadas aren’t quite dead yet.)
#HuffPostHop “The Outrageous 'Honey Boo Boo' Wedding
Menu” I anticipate there will be
frequent use of gravy and many
various Crisco-centric dishes.
#HuffPostHop “Man Swallowed By Angry Hippo Barely
Escapes With His Life” Good thing
the hippo wasn’t hungry,hungry. Still, that man shouldn’t have been hanging
around that hippo while dressed as a giant
marble.
#HuffPostHop “105-Year-Old Woman Says Bacon Is Key To
Longevity” Is there anything bacon CAN’T
do? (Answer: No.) Anyone who disagrees will
have to fight me & my Mighty Sword
of Justice...& Bacon! (Well, not really so much justice actually; I had
to make room in the sword for more bacon.)
And that's this Friday's #HuffPostHop with Dave-El! Brought to you
by Blurmph Inc, makers of Bacon Flavored Blurmph & Blurmph Wipes!
Dave-El can be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo
For the real stories behind the headlines,
go to The Huffington Post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
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