Friday, May 17, 2013

The Huff Post Hop for Friday, May 17, 2013

As Robinson Crusoe once said, "Thank God, it's Friday!"

OK, change "Friday" to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and you've got a PAR-TAY, y'all!

Or just this collection of Tweets from my weekly attempt at topical humor.


Time for the , my incredibly moderately rarely never amusing look at news from , brought to you by.... & .

Get ready for the  coming in...




“IRS Scandal Gets Worse” Most appalling is the lack of a sex angle! What kind of lame scandal is this?

“Cheney: Obama Involved In Benghazi 'Cover-Up'” Said former VP from his still undisclosed location, stroking his Persian cat.

“Report: Deficit Now Shrinking Rapidly” Sorry, the deficit’s just not that in to you anymore.

Second Head Rolls In IRS Scandal” Obama going all “Game of Thrones” on the IRS!

“Obama Appoints New IRS Head” Seriously, it's just a head! OK, Obama! No more of “Game of Thrones” for you!

“Nuclear Regulator Has Troubling Conflict Of Interest” He’s starting a business called Uranium Discount City!*

“Michele Bachmann Was Right!” In other news, Huffington Post headline writer strangled by own intestine.

“7 Things Ann Coulter Always Gets Wrong” On the list: Solving the puzzle while watching Wheel of Fortune.**

“Man Reportedly Snips Off Own Penis During Drunken Fight With Girlfriend” Yeah, he showed her, didn't he? Taught HER a lesson he did! (File under )

“Zoe Saldana Opens Up About Her Sexuality” This is the MOST important headline on the Huffington Post this week!

“Topless Protesters Target Barbie House Opening” Hey! My daughter has TONS of Barbies! A travesty! Come here & protest it!"

“8 Things Really Successful People Do” If one of them is excessive masturbation, I’ve only got 7 more things to do!

“You May Be Cheating... Without Realizing It” What the..? Hey, how did my dick get in there? Really I’m as surprised as you are!

“'Seinfeld' Finale Turns 15 & People Are Still Mad” Alternate ending: Jerry’s farewell spelled out in rocks-“Fuck You”.***

(NOTE: I'm violating the sanctity of the   by including a headline NOT from the #HuffingtonPost. But what the hell...)

Bea Arthur nude painting sells for $1.9 million. 21st US President Chester A Arthur nude, not quite as much.

OK, that was this week's ,
brought to you by **** with gentle abrasives & a new fresh lemon scent.

* We may have a new sponsor for the blog!
**She thinks the letter Q is a vowel.
***Another deleted scene: George chokes his chicken.
****What is Blurmph, you ask? Seriously, it's best not to question Blurmph; it doesn't like to be questioned.

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