Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The 500th Blog Post Thingamajiganatororama!

Hello, every damn body out there! 

I am Dave-El, this is I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and today marks my 500th post to this blog! So you know what that means?

I have no social life I am not managing my time wisely I am neglecting important things like family and hygiene I am delusional I have a warped sense of priorities I need my medication increased I...

NO! 

It means we get to CELEBRATE with....



The 500th Blog Post 


Thingamajiganatororama!


The 500th Blog Post Thingamajiganatororama is brought to you by...

Burger Beast, home of the Wacky Burger and the Fondue Frosty.  

The North Korean Tourism Board, inviting you to come visit grey, underfed North Korea, a wonderland just like you imagined it wouldn't be.


Whatever the Hell Angie Dickinson Was Selling Back in 1979! Hey, are you really asking questions? You want to KNOW what it is? No, don't ask! Just buy it, dammit!  

Milk! You do know it was squeezed out of a cow, right?  

Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium! Remember, for every ill-considered life choice, you're gonna need a van!   

Google Ass, because you know it's only a matter of time.  

Lemon Scented Benghazi! Did you hear me? LEMON SCENTED!  

Dickhead Television! Are you being a dick? This is the channel for YOU!

The BOOTY to ENGLISH Dictionary! Never question that booty again! 

And now...let's get the 500th Blog Post Thingamajiganatororama started!

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First up we have a performance from a surprising group of guests. Performing Iggy Azalea's smash hit single Fancy, the Judicial Branch of Funk! It's...


THE SUPREME COURT!!!!!!


































Thank you, Supreme Court! They'll be performing again later in the post. 

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And now...


The Adventures of Telepathy Cat
and the His Crime Fighting Sidekick, 
Mental Kitten!




















And this has been...



The Adventures of Telepathy Cat
and the His Crime Fighting Sidekick, 
Mental Kitten!


Join us next time when our Fearless Feline Masters of Mentalism do this! 



















On the next...


The Adventures of Telepathy Cat
and the His Crime Fighting Sidekick, 
Mental Kitten!


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And now on a serious note. 


Earlier this year, the world lost one of the best radio broadcasters in the business, Casey Kasem. Sadly the last weeks of his life were marred by inter-family squabbling that has continued even past his death. Its gotten to the point that wife Jean Kasem is lugging Casey's body all around the world looking for a place to bury it. So she's took Casey to Norway. 

Yes, Norway. 

Using a mystic ritual involving the blood of Rick Dees (nobody'll miss him), I established contact with the spirit of Casey Kasem for a brief interview. 

Except there's a catch. 

I'm not sure how the afterlife is supposed to work but because Jean took Casey's body to Norway, Casey's spirit is speaking Norwegian. Hey, I don't make the rules, OK? 

So I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You is proud to present an interview with the late, great Casey Kasem. 

Dave-El: Welcome, Casey Kasem. Thank you for joining us today. 

Casey:  Takk David. Det er flott å snakke med deg.

Thank you David. It's great to talk to you. 
 
Dave-El: I am sorry there has been so much controversy in your family about your recent passing.

Casey: Fortell meg om det. Det er virkelig rote med papirene her oppe i etterlivet.

Tell me about it. It is really messing with the paperwork up here in the afterlife.
 
Dave-El: Paperwork?
Casey: Ja. På ett skjema, spør de siste kjente posisjon av jordiske gjenstår. Hvordan skulle jeg vite det? Jean har virkelig snudd! Jeg er i Norge? Jeg er libanesiske! Hun kunne ikke finne et sted varm?
Yeah. On one form, they ask "last known location of earthly remains". How should I know? Jean's really flipped! My body's in Norway? I'm Lebanese! She couldn't find somewhere warm?
 
Dave-El: Do you know you are being translated from the spirit realm in Norwegian?

Casey: Norsk? Hvordan skal jeg anta å gjøre musikken min nedtelling show i norsk?
Norwegian? How am I suppose to do my music countdown show in Norwegian?
 
Dave-El: You have a countdown show in the afterlife! Sweet!

Casey: Det er søt! Jeg får spille på sanger som faktisk er noe bra med musikk fungerer med navn jeg faktisk kan uttale.

It is sweet! I get to play only songs that are actually any good by music acts with names I can actually pronounce.
 
Dave-El: So no music after the 1980's.

Casey: Det er noen sanger fra 1990-tallet. Og jeg liker noen aktuelle artister. Akkurat nå, er One Republic på vei opp på listene denne uken. Kommer inn på nummer forteen, her er kjærlighet går ut.
There are a few songs from the 1990's. And I like some current artists. Right now, One Republic is moving up the charts this week. Coming in at number fourteen, here's Love Runs Out
 
Dave-El: Wow! Casey, you still have the best pipes in radio, even when you're dead and Norwegian.

Casey: Hvorfor, takk, David. Jeg tar det som en lang avstand dedikasjon. Vel, du kan ikke få mer langdistanse enn gapet mellom liv og død.

Why, thank you, David. I'll take that as a long distance dedication. Well, you can't get more long distance than the gulf between life and death.
 
 Dave-El: So how is the afterlife so far?
Casey: Det har vært stor. Jeg får til å henge ut med noen kule musikkstjernene. Jeg bare så en duett går kveld med Elvis Presley og Michael Jackson.
It has been great. I'm getting to hang out with some cool music stars. I just saw a duet last night with Elvis Presley and John Lennon.

Dave-El: That is so cool!
  
Casey: Maten er god, men det ser ut til å være mye kjøttboller eller annen grunn.
The food's good but there does seem to be a lot of meatballs for some reason.
 
Dave-El: Probably because you are buried in Norway.

Casey: Men jeg liker ikke kjøttboller! Jean!
But I don't like meatballs! Jean!
 
Dave-El: Well it has been a pleasure talking to you today. Before we go, may I ask you to say it one more time?

Casey: Ikke noe problem, David. Husk å holde føttene på bakken og holde nå stjernene!

No problem, David.  Remember to keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!

Always a class act, even in death. And in Norway. Casey Kasem. 
















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Wow! I didn't know my blog was being read on another world. I've just received a greeting from the Mars Rover! 





















































Apparently, the Mars Rover is still somewhat bitter.  

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With 500 posts on this blog, I have posted a lot of different things, some serious, a lot very silly. Now I'm going to present again my daughter's absolute favoritest thing that I've ever posted to this blog. 



And now...






The larch.


Seriously.
Her most favorite thing on this blog.



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Oh my God! I can't believe it! To celebrate my 500th blog post, I have a greeting from the stars of Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman!!!!!  







See, Peter's greeting was sincere; he wouldn't write "sincerely" unless he meant it, right? 
And Jenna? Oh, Jenna has such a wonderful sense of humor! I haven't given up hope that she'll make a fine associate wife someday. 


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Hey, let's bring out those 9 Masters of a Groove! Singing Ariana Grande's big hit record Problem, give it up, y'all, for...


THE SUPREME COURT!!!!!!




























Woo hoo! One more round of applause for the hot rockin' Supreme Court!


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And now from my favorite Disney movie, The Emperor's New Groove, here's Kronk with a lesson in Witty Repartee


































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OK, that's about all the damage I can do around here today. This has been....




The 500th Blog Post 


Thingamajiganatororama!


I want to thank all the sponsors for today's post. My thanks to the Supreme Court, Telepathy Cat and Mental Kitten, the late Graham Chapman, the late Casey Kasem, the Mars Rover, the larch tree, Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman and Kronk for appearing today.  And thanks to you, the reader. And I mean the literally one person who reads this blog. 



Here's to days to come and all my love to long ago. And remember, be good to one another. 



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