Thursday, March 16, 2017

The Case of the Missing Brain!

As I've mentioned in this blog a few times, I broke my elbow in a fall. I've had surgery and I'm going through physical therapy which is coming along rather well to restore function to my left arm. I still can't type worth shit but then, I was never a particularly good typist so I'm not sure how much I can blame poor typing on the arm injury. 

But another medical issue hanging over my head has been the TIA, a transient ischemic attack, that  I experienced. A TIA is called a mini-stroke, because the symptoms are those of a stroke but don't last long. It's important to get to the bottom of what precipitated this attack because a TIA can be a warning a stroke in the future. To that end, I endured an MRI as I recounted on this blog on Monday. 

Here is what I learned from that MRI. 




The graphic above is taken from one of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches. I'm including it here to say I'm the person at home flipping through the channels.

Apparently, I've had a stroke. 

Given the quality of material I've posted on this blog over the last four years, that should not come as a surprise. 

So here's the thing: both a TIA and a stroke cuts off blood flow to part of the brain.  If it's a big part of the brain or the part that keeps your heart pumping, you are, to quote Hypocrites, "fucked". But a TIA is not a total asshole about it and will let up. a stroke, on the other hand, is a total dick and won't let up until something dies.

So I've had a stroke. Which means part of my brain is dead. Not comic book dead but deader than dead.  

Question: what part of my brain is it? What exactly did that part of my brain do? What is it that I could do but now and forever more can't because that part is dead?
  • I can still talk.
  • I can still do basic math.
  • I can still sing. I still remember most of the lyrics from "I'll Be Back" from Hamilton. I can recite Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" all by myself. 
  • I can still remember stuff like Doctor Who episodes and stuff from Batman AND Superman mythologies.
  • I remember Star Trek. 
  • I can remember the ingredients in a Big Mac and all fifty states and most state capitals.
  • If I ever loved you and you broke my heart, I still remember that.
  • If I ever loved you and I broke your heart, I still remember that too.
  • I remember seeing Andrea for the 1st time in her wedding dress and the birth of my daughter. 
  • I can still make up songs about any random crap.

So... what part of my brain is dead? What, pray tell, did I lose?

Or was it some untapped potential I never touched, never experienced and now I never will.

I don't miss it because I never knew it? Maybe. 


Until next time, remember to be good to one another. 




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