Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the internet's #1 source (yawn!) of tryptophan.
Today is Friday when we present the wacky weekly news round up I call bROkEN nEWs! But today, I'm taking a post-Thanksgiving break.
So if you don't mind, I'm posting some select headlines from previous editions of bROkEN nEWs!
So crank up the ol' Way Back Machine to those sun-kissed days of June and July of 2013.
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June 7, 2013
#BrokenNews “Obama To GOP: I DARE You To Block Judges” Things get out of hand when Obama double dog dares John Boehner to stick his tongue to Paul Ryan.
#BrokenNews “Kim Kardashian reveals sex of baby on show” Revealing the sex that made the baby will be posted online later.
#BrokenNews “Al Gore: NSA Phone Records Collecting 'Obscenely Outrageous'” Al didn’t invent the telephone for this kind of shit to go on!
#BrokenNews “Obama defends surveillance programs: ‘Nobody is listening to your telephone calls'” Adding, “Most of you don’t have lives that are all that interesting.”
#BrokenNews “Russia's Putin and his wife say their marriage is over” Mrs. Putin said the split is “amicable” from her prison in Siberia.
June 14, 2013
#BrokenNews “NSA Revelations Only 'The Tip Of The Iceberg'” NSA also spying on polar bears.
#BrokenNews “Protesters Arrested Outside Boehner's Office” If that didn’t work, Boehner has his office ringed with cauldrons of boiling oil.
#BrokenNews “House Votes To Keep Gitmo Open” Business has been booming with Gitmo’s “Book 6 Nights, Stay 10 Years Free” Special
#Broken News “Keith Richards: Drug 'experiment' had to end” You know, before it left him wrinkly, worn out & incoherent.
June 21, 2013
July 5, 2013
#Broken News“Rose McGowan Stuns In Little Black Dress” Her dress is made from living electric eels.
July 12, 2013
#Broken News “Fugitive Captured After Taunting Police On Twitter” #UCantCatchME #UCantCatchME #UCantCatchME #UCant—hold on, someone’s at the door
#Broken News “Devastating Train Explosion Blamed On Engineer Failing To Set Brakes Properly” Possibly also a cause: carrying stuff that explodes.
July 19, 2013
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#Broken News “Spitzer Misses Deadline To File Ethics Report” Easily fixed…if you know the right person to bribe.
#Broken News “Doctor Diagnoses Woman With 'Ghetto Booty'” The doctor had an attack of “honky brain”.
#Broken News “Obama's New Health Care Offensive” Multi-vitamins shot from drones
July 29, 2013
#Broken News “Congress Disapproval Hits All-Time High” So Congress’ “Operation: Do Stupid Shit” is a success!
#Broken News “What 60 Percent Of British Women Do During Sex” I going to guess “butter their scones”? (Well, it SOUNDS naughty!)
#Broken News “'The Longer You're In A Relationship, The Less Sex You'll Have'” Let’s see, take how long I’ve not had sex and carry the one and..I’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 342 YEARS!
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All right, before we wrap this up, there is one very random bit of new business to address.
It starts with this headline:
Alec Baldwin not returning to MSNBC
Which lead me to look up this old bit from a bROkEN nEWs IN pICtUREs segment and provide a bit of an update.
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Tomorrow is DOCTOR WHO SATURDAY as the blog, still a little groggy from the Thanksgiving turkey tryptophan, takes a look at things I'm grateful for...about Doctor Who.
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Hey, before we go, let's take one last look at the bROkEN nEWs puppy!
Shhh! He's still sleeping.*
*As are most of the readers.
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