Friday, December 16, 2016

Disney Daze - Part Four


Can it be? Can it be? Yes, it can be... another exciting installment of Dave-El and the El Family as they explore the Friggin' Happiest Friggin' Place On Friggin' Earth....


Part Four  

Wednesday, December 7th brought us back to the Magic Kingdom.






Over the course of the day, we would take a variety of shows and rides. We saw Mickey’s Philharmonic 3-D show. We rode the People Mover in Tomorrow Land as well as the Carousel of Progress (“It’s a great big beautiful tomorrow…!”). We saw the Monster’s Inc. Laugh Factory show (which like Crush the Turtle at EPCOT actually interacts with the audience) and the decidedly kitschy Country Bear Jamboree. We saw the Hall of Presidents which is kind of cool but I wouldn't be surprised if everyone there was thinking, “Oh my God! They’re going to have to add Donald Trump to this thing next year!” Even if you voted for him, it’s hard to imagine robot Donald sharing a stage with robot Martin Van Buren. By the way and in my opinion, robot Barack Obama looks a bit too buff. And we made our way through the shadowed tormented halls of the Haunted Mansion where I wondered if Disney could somehow add David S. Pumpkins to the show.






But the big thing for the day was a couple of the thrill rides that my daughter Randie really wanted to ride.



Big Thunder Mountain Railroad looks scary with a rickety looking track with sharp curves diving in and out of a mountain side mine. This is one wild ride with sudden lurches to the sides and abrupt drops. I’m not a big fan of rollercoasters but I had ridden this one before so I knew what to expect. It really isn’t so bad and anything for my darling daughter Randie on the week of her 16th birthday.



Here is a transcript of my time on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad:


“WHOA!”

“HEY! HEY! HEY!”

“WHEEEEEEEEE!”

“YOWL!”

“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!”

“YA-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

“OH YEAH!”

“RIDE ‘EM, COWBOY!”

“RIGHTEOUS! RIGHTEOUS! RIGHTEOUS!”

“ALL RIGHTY THEN!”



And there was Space Mountain. I had never ridden Space Mountain before but what the hell? How bad could it be? I mean, I have to admit Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was rather a lot of fun so I was willing to give Space Mountain a shot. And besides, anything for my darling daughter Randie on the week of her 16th birthday.



Here is a transcript of my time on Space Mountain:


“Uh oh.”

“No.”

“No, no, no.”

“NO, NO, NO!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

“Our father who art in heaven…”

“Oh my God, oh my God, OH MY GOD!!”

“I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die! I’M GONNA DIE!!!!”

“Yea do I walk through the valley of death….”

“Blrghmph!”



Now you might wonder why my reaction to Space Mountain was so drastically and forebodingly different from my reaction to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. On Big Thunder, you have a sense of perspective. Most of the time, you can see what’s going on. There are few turns into darkened mine shafts but these are exceptions to the visual stimulations of that wild ride. 

On the other hand, Space Mountain is mostly in darkness. There are exceptions with intermittent light effects that are kind of cool in a cheesy sci-fi sort of way. But the majority of the ride is a hurried, jerking sensation through total pitch black darkness and I did not care for it. I did not care for it at all. In fact, for a while after the ride, there was some concern that Space Mountain may have broken my brain… FOREVER.



Here is a transcript after the Space Mountain ride. Oh, before I go on, I should note that my wife Andrea opted not to join us on either ride. As far as Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is concerned, she’s a total wuss. But in regards to Space Mountain, the woman was extremely wise, wiser by far than I.



Randie: “And then the ride when whoosh….”

Dave-El: “Uh.”

Randie: “Then we swooped around…”

Dave-El: “Er.”

Andrea: “Randie, is your dad OK?”

Randie: “Oh, I’m sure he’s fine. Anyway, we…”

Dave-El: “Blrghmph.”  

Andrea:  “What did he say?”

Randie: “ I think he said blrghmph, mom.”    

Dave-El: “Blrghmph.”  

Randie: “See, he’s fine. So then we…”

Dave-El: “Blrghmph.”  

Andrea: “Dear, your dad is drooling.”



Don’t worry, dear reader, I eventually did recover my… my… my…



Blrghmph!





Wits. I eventually did recover my wits. 






Sorry, I still occasionally enter what is called a fugue state. One day I’m sure I will be fine. One day I will forget… Space Mountain.



Moving on, people!



Wednesday was a big day for FOOD! We started off the day at Old Port Royale with Mickey waffles because… it’s what you do.



For lunch, we dined alfresco at Casey’s Corners, an establishment on the Magic Kingdom’s Main Street overlooking Cinderella’s castle. It’s done up with a baseball motif circa the late 19th century. They specialize in hot dogs which are really good but it takes a certain amount of fortitude to enter as it is a very crowded and boisterous environment. The hot dogs are accompanied by enough French Fries to fill a bucket and our Disney dining plan let us score a brownie that should be illegal, it is so big and so tasty.


A photo of Mary Poppins
across the street from us
when we were at Casey's Corners

For dinner, we had reservations as the Diamond Horseshoe which is in the Magic Kingdom’s Frontierland and is done up in the style of the old American West. Now here is a serious dining challenge. The main entrĂ©e at the Diamond Horseshoe is… meat. What kind of meat, you might ask? All of it, I would answer. OK, not ALL of it but they bring out a tray that includes braised beef, pulled pork, smoked sausage and turkey. And it is all GOOD! Especially the beef and the pork which was so tasty and so tender as if it were made of the dreams of angels. Damn, it was some good eating! And damn, I wish we were hungrier. Oh and the meat came with macaroni and cheese, baked beans and corn on the cob plus corn bread, salad and brownies. We got the brownies to go. I would’ve bagged up the meat too if I had a chance to do so. Everything was so good! 






There’s a lot of walking at Disney World and chances are you can walk off 20 pounds over the course of a week there. But the food will put 30 pounds back on.



After staying late to watch fireworks shows on Monday and Tuesday, we decided that we would beat a retreat at a more reasonable hour. But instead of taking the bus from the Magic Kingdom back to the Caribbean Beach Resort, we opted to ride the monorail from the Magic Kingdom to EPCOT and then take the bus from there back to the resort.


And on our third night on our vacation, we actually made it from our bus stop at Old Port Royale to our room with a minimum of fuss and bother.



OK, another post is coming up at 5 PM Eastern Time today in the United States as I take a cautious look out into the world and see what kind of trouble Donald Trump has gotten us into now.



And 12 hours after that, we’re off to another part of Disney World as we explore… Animal Kingdom with a side trip to Mickey’s Car Repair Adventure Land as I deal with the check engine line from Part 1 of this post series. Coming up Saturday morning is Disney Daze – Part Five.



Until then, remember to be… to be… to be…



Blrghmph!



Remember to be good to one another.



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