Saturday, December 24, 2016

Santa's On His Way! (And Superman Too!)

Hi there! Ho there! Ho, ho, ho there!

Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that asks, "Who the hell was Wenceslas and how did he get a carol?" I'm Dave-El and I'm not allowed to play any reindeer games.

Christmas is coming, it's practically here!

Getting ready for the holiday season was a little weird this year. We spent a week away from the Fortress of Ineptitude whilst we headed down to Florida to spend time in Disney World which cut into time for shopping and decorating. We did get our tree up with lights, garland and balls but not the vast collection of ornaments that usually overwhelm the tree, lights, garland and balls. We may eventually add the Doctor Who ornaments we purchased this summer as well as Disney stuff we purchased during the vacay.

Outside, I strung up the greenery and icicle lights we normally put outside. This year we added one of those projector lights, the one that spray lighted dots and whatnot all over the house and front yard. OK, the one we bought was a little less than impressive compared to our neighbor's projector light.

Our house:  

Our neighbor's house: 

OK, that's not a completely accurate representation but trust me, it conveys the truth of the matter. 

To take a bit of the stress off of me for this holiday season, I'm turning over part of today's post to actor, comedian, writer, director and banjo player Mr. Steve Martin. Here is the transcript of Steve's Christmas Wish from Saturday Night Live....

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. 

If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. 

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe. 

And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you. 

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got?

No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice.

No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they're not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's more trouble than it's worth!

So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids.

Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish!

And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony.

Thank you, everybody. 

And thank you, Mr. Steve Martin.

And now, a reminder that a certain someone is watching...

Thanks to Bully the Stuffed Little Bull who like comics and thinks they oughtta be good. He posted the above image to his Twitter and I added the text.

Before we go, here's a Christmas classic with a bit of a twist that I co-wrote with my daughter Randie.

Oh, look! Here's a little something from Santa Claus and my cousin, Kal-El*!

Art by Jose Luis Garcia Lopez from DC Comics Presents#67

*Superman here, reminding the readers of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You that I am not, never have been and never will be related to Dave-El. Cut it out, David**!

**Cousin Kal is such a kidder!

Let's wrap this thing up for today. I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! And may your winter feast being an orgy of delight! 

And as always, remember to be good to one another.

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